Fantasy Comedy Teen

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

Meg Cabot is the New York Times best-selling author of The Princess Diaries series. Susannah Simon is a teenager who can see ghosts. As a bridge between the living and the dead, she gets called on to help ghosts take care of unfinished business. After she and her mother move from New York City to sunny California, Suze meets the sexiest boy she's ever seen, too bad he's a ghost, too.

Get four complete stories in Frank Kurns: Tales of the Underworld: You Don't Touch John's Cousin, Bitch's Night Out, Bitch's Night Out, and Challenges.

Everyone knows how all those fairy tales go. The princess gets beautiful, nabs her prince, falls instantly in love, lives happily ever after and leaves her evil stepsisters in the dust. But what happens when you're the ugly stepsister and your obnoxiously perfect - read pretty, smart, and, worst of all, sickeningly nice - stepsister is dating the charming, tall, devastatingly handsome guy you've had a thing for since you were nine years old? Quirky, artistic and snarky Mattie Lowe does not lead a charmed life. Her mother is constantly belittling her on Skype.

Alexis has always been able to rely on two things: her best friends, and the magic powers they all share. Their secret is what brought them together, and their love for each other is unshakeable - even when that love is complicated. Complicated by problems like jealousy, or insecurity, or lust. Or love. That unshakeable, complicated love is one of the only things that doesn't change on prom night. When accidental magic goes sideways and a boy winds up dead, Alexis and her friends come together to try to right a terrible wrong.

Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

We can't say much, but we can say this: Skulduggery and Valkyrie are going to team up with beloved characters from the first nine audiobooks as well as an all-new cast, including new teen costar Omen Darkly, for an adventure that takes the story to truly global proportions...while answering questions that go right back to the beginning.

Now that life has finally given her everything she's ever wanted, Mattie Lowe has one thing on her mind: prom. Determined to throw the most epic prom ever, Mattie sets out to plan a memorable and magical event - one that would make the late John Hughes proud. But when her gorgeous and perfect boyfriend, Jake Kingston, hasn't popped the most creative promposal of all time, Mattie starts to worry. Actually, Jake hasn't asked her at all - he's been distant and quiet. And Mattie isn't about to go to her senior prom solo.

Tiffany Aching is ready to begin her apprenticeship in magic, but life isn't exactly what she thought it would be. She expects spells and magic - not chores and ill-tempered goats! Surely there must be more to witchcraft than this? And Tiffany will find that she needs her magic more than ever, to fight off the insidious, disembodied creature that is pursuing her. This time, neither Mistress Weatherwax (the greatest witch in the world) nor the fierce, six-inch-high Wee Free Men can protect her. In the end, it will take all of Tiffany's inner strength to save herself.

Rosie Thorne and her father have been short on luck - and money - for years. So when she loses her grocery store job in a heated moment of smashing the patriarchy, she knows she may be forced to give up on her dream of leaving her small town for a prestigious college creative writing program. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as Rosie’s been clipping coupons and secretly writing massively popular fanfiction. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA.

Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad. As the fairy horde prepares for invasion, Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land. Her land. There will be a reckoning.

Henry "Monty" Montague doesn't care that his roguish passions are far from suitable for the gentleman he was born to be. But as Monty embarks on his grand tour of Europe, his quests for pleasure and vice are in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family's estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.

Wren Greenrock has always known that one day she would steal her sister’s place in the palace. Trained from birth to avenge her parents’ murder and usurp the princess, she will do anything to rise to power and protect the community of witches she loves. Princess Rose Valhart knows that with power comes responsibility, including marriage into a brutal kingdom. Life outside the palace walls is a place to be feared, and she is soon to discover that it’s wilder than she ever imagined.

The second audiobook in the rich, compelling and laugh-out-loud Spellslinger series. A Shadowblack plague is taking hold.... It's a few months since Kellen left his people behind. Now 16, Kellen and Reichis have developed something of a reputation for being able to kill unruly mages. So it's no surprise when a wealthy but desperate father asks for their help in hunting down the men who've blackmailed him by putting a deadly curse on his only daughter.

Twin queens Wren and Rose have claimed their crowns...but not everyone is happy about witches sitting on Eana’s throne. Cool-headed Rose sets off on a Royal Tour to win over the doubters, but soon finds herself drawn to the Sunkissed Kingdom. Here secrets are revealed about those closest to her, and Rose finds her loyalties divided. Meanwhile rebellious Wren steals away to the icy north to rescue their beloved grandmother, Banba. But when she accepts King Alarik’s deadly magical bargain in exchange for Banba’s freedom, the spell has unexpected – and far-reaching – consequences.

From professional athletes like Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan to philosophers like Confucius, inspirational business books love to suggest that listeners can succeed in business and in life by adopting the traits of their famous subjects. In Z.E.O. by Scott Kenemore, frustrated employees will finally find inspiration in a source they can already relate to: zombies!

Remember the Monster Stick? The greatest and most dangerous fishing-rod ever? What about Buck, who simply "ain't no ordinary dog"? Anyone who has seen the Lepp boys perform or read their book The Monster Stick will never forget them. In this recording, we revisit West Virginia with Bil Lepp as he tells some of the stories that made his brother, Paul, and himself repeat winners of the West Virginia State Liars Contest.

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

This manual provides a review of the tactical combat advantages enjoyed by zombies and gives the listener a step-by-step guide to adopting them for him or herself. Have you wondered where the great military leaders of modern history have found their collective inspirations? Well look no further. It is the walking dead upon whom the most important tactical infantry innovations of the last three hundred years have been based.