Adoption Trauma

Do you want to take a step towards confidence, acceptance, and well-being? This audiobook is my inward look at adoption trauma with some helpful tips that I have used over the past six years to help me overcome the feelings of unworthiness, anger, fear, and rejection that plagued me for 50 years.

Many foster and adoptive parents are raising children with complex emotional trauma, desperate for answers to heal their families. Caught off guard, these families find themselves with shattered dreams, shattered homes, and shattered hearts, with nowhere to turn for answers. Extended family members, friends, and the greater community don't understand the challenges and can, sometimes, add to the problems these families face, prolonging the healing process for all.

A gifted young man endured a tormented childhood at the hands of his mentally troubled adoptive mother. Told that his birthmother had died to give him life, he shouldered the blame yet still found the strength to attempt the impossible. With a week’s worth of clothes and a guitar, he left his small town for New York City to make his mark as a singer/songwriter.

Foster sisters Krystal and Nichole have always been there for each other, so when Nichole is committed to a psychiatric hospital after trying to kill her husband, Krystal drops everything to defend her. Scarred by a hard upbringing, Nichole and Krystal managed to construct comfortable lives for themselves. Krystal became a respected lawyer, and Nichole was happily married to an architect - until Nichole starts raving that her husband isn’t her husband, believing that he’s an imposter.

In 1974, Liz Harvie – born Claire Elaine Watts – was given up for adoption by her birth mother Yvonne. Claire was just eight weeks old when her adoptive parents took her in – and renamed her Elizabeth. Although brought up in a ‘perfect’ household, the emotional – and physical – trauma of being taken from her biological mother would never leave Liz. She constantly wondered: what does my real mum look like? Will she come back for me? Why did she abandon me?

In this unique book, the reader is provided with a description of the unfolding of the adoptee's personality from birth, detailing each developmental milestone along the way, followed by different methods of healing the adoptee's wounds, including inner child work, visualizations, healing affirmations, and anger management. Every chapter includes a Myths and Realities of adoption section, a summary of the chapter and exercises to do one's own.

Just as you prepared your home to welcome a new child, it is important to prepare your heart and mind - especially if the child has suffered from a background of trauma. Perhaps your invitation for love is met with hostility and you find that this new member of your family rejects connection. It’s critical to acknowledge the effects of trauma on a child’s ability to attach. Mike and Kristin Berry realized this when they became adoptive and foster parents. They now offer guidance from their own journey to others parenting a child who has experienced past trauma. 

Children who have been adopted and/or shuttled through the foster-care system experience trauma at a much higher rate than other kids, which can make it difficult for them to trust, relax, regulate their emotions, and connect with their new families. As a parent, learning how to heal attachment trauma, attune to your child's needs, identify triggers, and create felt safety is essential to providing the loving, supportive, and stable home they need to thrive. Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns.

With a bachelor's and master's degree in education and over 30 years of experience, plus training in trauma sensitivity, author and mother of two, Jennifer Alushan, is ready to give parents and caregivers proven techniques to effectively understand and authentically interact with children so the healing process can begin.