Very Holiday

What's the actual last thing you'd ever want your executive assistant to see you doing the morning after you had hot, drunk, angry sex with her in a terrible hotel room? Dancing around your terrible hotel room to "Come and Get Your Love" like Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy - naked? Yeah. Me too. And yet, here we are.

Eddie: Cancel your dinky-little roomette on the train. I’m booking us two of the big bedroom suites. Birdie: I’ll cancel it after you’ve booked the other sleeper rooms. And reimburse you. Eddie: Don’t worry about it. Just cancel your tickets. I got this. Round trip. I’m on the Amtrak website right now. Birdie: You don’t have to leave NYC when I do! You’ll hardly be able to spend any time with your Instagram girlfriend who you've never met!

You might think the problem would be waking up in Vegas, hungover, next to a beautiful woman who’s wearing your boxer briefs, and finding out you married her. But you’d be wrong. I, Nolan Cassidy, international charmer, and maker of mischief have fallen head over heels for Cora Delaney. I want to be married to the lass. So, you might think the problem would be that she wants an annulment. But, again, you’d be wrong. None of that is the problem. I’m a problem. My boxing days may be behind me, but the fight never left me. And nothing is going to stand in my way.

What’s the actual last thing you’d ever want your spouse to see you doing when you’ve been trying to get it on for weeks? Dancing around your baby’s room to “Come and Get Your Love” like Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy—in an Elmo costume? Yeah. Me too.