Showing results by author "Peter Nuttall" in All Categories

If you've supported Newcastle United long enough, you will have experienced every single emotion that it is possible for a human being to feel. You'll know how it feels to win 8-0 despite being bottom of the league. However, you'll also know the desolation of losing 7-3 with a team of 11 supposed internationals. You'll have seen goals to grace the Maracanã and mistakes to grace You've Been Framed. So come with me now as we take a look at some of the greatest and not-so-great games in this wonderful club's glittering history.

They say that if you want to live a long and happy life, don’t support Newcastle United. So join me, as I lead you on a journey through another hall of shame, littered with players who were paid far too much, and who gave the fans far too little in return. If you need an antidote to the many times Newcastle United have ever let you down and made you think "We'll laugh about this seven-to-three defeat in a few years", then this audiobook will go a long way to healing those wounds.

Have you ever ran the "egg and spoon race" and wondered why it’s not an Olympic sport? Have you ever wondered exactly what weather the "all-weather" pitch was designed for? Have you ever wished that the Nursery Rhyme "Humpty Dumpty" had a happier ending? Then Playground Games: An Alternative Guide to the Games We Played as Children has the answers.

Do you believe in fate? What if your fate was actually determined by something small - something like, what counter you used in a game of Monopoly? Troy Thompson is a former F1 driver who now drives taxis (because he missed the high speeds and risk taking) and used to be the little pewter car when he played Monopoly with five others back at the Silver Sands Caravan Park in Whitley Bay, in 1985. Now, 25 years later, the six friends are drawn back to the camp by something - something ethereal, something dark. Does it have something to do with fate? Kismet? Yoga? The friends' old Ouija board?

Did Francis Jeffers ever keep you awake at night? Did you slap yourself in the face each time you witnessed an Eric Djemba-Djemba attack-splitting pass? Did Titus Bramble cause you to eat your match program in frustration? Then this is the book you've been waiting for.

When Keith Knight sets out one morning to buy a tin of custard from his local shop, he didn't bank on falling through the fabric between his world and a land of fantasy. Mistaken as the "Knight" from afar who, it is said, will lift the Mushroom King's curse on the land, he must face dragons, avoid swamp donkeys and negotiate the "forest of certain death" to seek out the elusive and dangerous Baba Yaga in order to complete her three impossible tasks if he has any hope of reaching the Wishing Tree and returning home.

What if the girl of your dreams turned out to literally be, a girl in your dreams? For Sam, meeting Susi in the same pub every night when he closed his eyes was exciting until he started to realize that this dream world, this half-light, offered more than his real life did. But now, in this place between reality and dreams, this place that is nowhere and everywhere, Susi has started to change; she is becoming confused and distant. Sam begins to realize that there must be a link between this world and reality, that something is drawing him to Susi each night.

Did Wayne Fereday ruin your life? Was Silvio Maric directly responsible for your high dentist bills due to the constant gnashing and grinding of your molars? Did Billy Askew's hair give you nightmares, or did the merest mention of Alain Boumsong's name have the same effect as the aftermath of a Vindaloo? Then this is the book you've been waiting for.

We all face many types of daily stress, anxieties, and related conditions such as insomnia and headaches. Left unmanaged and untreated, stress can lead to strokes, high blood pressure, depression, diabetes, and cardiovascular problems

Have you got something to complain about? Have you been shortchanged? Have you complained but got ten nothing but hollow apologies? Are you due compensation? Then this book could help. Instead of writing letters using red pen and block capitals, underlining every other word, swearing at inappropriate places and writing key words twice as big, follow the I Want to Complain philosophy and make your letters entertaining; make the person dealing with your complaint want to help you instead of shoving your letter under the pile of others he or she has to deal with that day and getting to it "later."

This tongue-in-cheek look at all the iconic, memorable, and not-so-great things we grew up with in the 1980s will make you laugh, cry, and possibly even re-evaluate your life choices. At the very least, it'll make you fire up ebay to go buy a vintage Mr. Frosty to see what you missed out on.

Have you ever heard a song on the radio and thought, "Did they say what I thought they just said" and then realized that they did and thought, "I can do better than that"? Then this is the book for you.