Showing results by narrator "Morris Gleitzman" in All Categories

CHILDISH: 1. Being a child. 2. Solving big problems using only a really good friendship, an endless supply of the world's best dumplings and a thousand kilos of plasticine. 3. E.g. Arkie and Dot.

'Ouch,' said Limpy. 'Why's my back hurting?' A horrible thought hit him. Perhaps it was a fork wound. Perhaps while he was unconscious the human had tried to eat him. He looked around. 'Stack me,' said Limpy. All he could see was blue plastic. Limpy's on a quest to find toad heaven. A place where cane toads won't be blown up with bike pumps or bashed over the head with folding chairs. Limpy's determined to find this place if it takes the rest of his life. But first he has to get out of the bucket.

"Limpy has a dream. A dream where cane toads and humans live happily together. Surely, this time Limpy will be able to show humans how nice cane toads can be? After all, it is Christmas. And isn't Christmas a time of peace and goodwill to all men? And cane toads? A hilarious story of one cane toad's quest to experience the true meaning of Christmas.

Thomas is eleven and lives with his mum and dad and big sister, Alisha. He was a pretty normal kid until two weeks ago, when he discovered he had developed a startling new ability. Every time anyone tells a lie, Thomas develops a violent itch in his nipples. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and gets Thomas into all sorts of trouble.

Snuggle up on the Play School Story Time Couch to listen to an amazing host of celebrities reading a beautiful selection of stories for young children.

Even more desperate to save his family from ending up on his stack of squashed relatives, Limpy takes his quest to the airwaves. When a TV cooking show kidnaps Goliath to be their main ingredient, Limpy sets out to rescue him and ends up on camera himself. Can Limpy use his 15 minutes of fame to get humans to lay off the cane-toad squashing? Or will that be a recipe for disaster?

"Doug's not like one of those posh guardian angels in the Bible," Gran used to say. "He's invisible, he doesn't do violence and he's very busy, so if you need him you've got to ask." I'm asking you now, Doug. Mitch needs help. Everyone hates him, but he's got a plan that'll make him the most popular bloke in town. If it doesn't kill him. He hopes his guardian angel is listening.

Brilliantly funny short stories for middle school listeners from the ever-popular Morris Gleitzman, in the hilarious style of Give Peas a Chance, Pizza Cake and Snot Chocolate! These short stories are equally funny and hopeful – at a time when we need as much hope and humour as we can get.

Save 10 lives with a paperclip. Discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday. Make a new friend with a garbage bin. Develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips. Bounce on a vampire's bed. Rescue your dad from a dog and a spider. Use a toilet roll to get justice. Upset the neighbours with a pickax. Eat a pizza that makes you fearless. And imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

Jake lives with his parents in a holiday hideaway hotel; the hotel's main attraction is that it is a "kid-free" zone. When a couple from a magazine arrive to do a feature on the hotel, Jake must keep out of the way to ensure they have a great kid-free time. But things don't go according to plan.

A heartwarming new book from much-loved author, Morris Gleitzman. Full of his usual trademark humour, pathos and inimitable skill at speaking directly to his audience. What do you do when your mum, your dad and 16 camels are in trouble and only you can save them? The sometimes sad but mostly funny story of a boy, a girl, a dog and four trillion dollars.

It's not easy being part of Ginger's family when you're allergic to cats; three of them love cats and five of them are cats. Now, the school principal is trying to kill Ginger's new best friend, a fierce-looking stray dog. Can Ginger expose Mr. Napier for the phoney he is?

Bigger and fatter than all the other microbes in the valley, Wilton feels ostracized and out of place. But even more worryingly, their world has become unhealthy and toxic with mass illness and flash storms. Setting out to find out what is wrong, Wilton meets Algy, a tiny microbe small enough to sit on his shoulder (and take refuge in his guts) who accompanies Wilton on his quest.

Stop your mum picking her nose, read the secret diary of a dog, catch a bus and then let it go, discover how one slice of toast can make you the most popular person in school, start wearing a crown and give up eating pig-nostril gruel, use a wrecking ball to defeat a bully, show your big sister the very scary secret in your wardrobe, unleash the awesome power of chips, live in a house that gets wiped clean more often than a bottom. Funny stories from a favourite Australian author.

From the author who created the memorable world of Toad Rage comes another highly infectious tale of a brave microscopic hero who is unexpectedly propelled from his familiar nostril-home into the big wide dangerous world. In Aristotle's Nostril Morris features a whole new cast of funny and gross characters that kids will love.