Showing results by narrator "Arte-Johnson" in All Categories

This second volume of Orson Scott Card's five-volume anthology of short stories features seven tales exploring possible future scenarios for the human race. A fascistic government's capital punishment extends beyond death. Intellectually superior aliens from a doomed world choose Earth's dogs as their new vessels. Not-quite-human beings on an Earth wasted by biological warfare continously fight an enemy which has long been annihilated.

This is an unforgettable collection of more than 75 newspaper columns by John Grogan, the New York Times best-selling author of Marley & Me. Combining humor, wit, poignancy, and affection, these columns provide insight into the intriguing and wonderful world we live in. Whether writing about animals (from dogs to elephants to geese!), life's foibles and farces, family (not just his own), or interactions with memorable people, John Grogan makes us laugh, cry, and—most of all—makes us think.

What do bestselling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy all have in common? They've all been murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their style. An extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim, so he leaves his heavily-barricaded fortress in Bangor, Maine, to discover who is bumping off his fellow novelists. This hilarious send-up of the world of publishing takes readers to Maine, Paris, and Venice and features cameo appearances by Steve Martin, Gerard Depardieu—plus a few surprises.

A collection of coast-to-coast murder and mayham, including these unabridged short stories: "Vaudeville" by Whitley Strieber, read by Roddy McDowell; "Lucky Day" by Mary Higgins Clark, read by Betsy Palmer; "Starstruck" by Jon A. Breen, read by James Stacy; "Snookered" by Gerald Tomlinson, read by David Birney; "It Was Bad Enough" by Ron Goulart, read by Arte Johnson and Gee Whiz; "My Lovely" by Betty Buchanan, read by Joan Rivers.

If the Watergate scandal was a national nightmare, then maybe the Clinton scandal was a national wet dream, and who better to narrate it than the screenwriter Joe Eszterhas? In American Rhapsody, Eszterhas, whose credits include Basic Instinct and Showgirls, takes us through the events that threatened to topple a president. From scandalmongers Matt Drudge and Ken Starr, to his final, unimpeachable witness, Willard - none other than President Clinton's talking penis - Eszterhas gives us the goods.

This collection of short stories displays Ed Gorman's talents as a masterful storyteller across a range of genres.

A mysterious and beautiful girl who teaches arrogant young men about true love, a lonely traveling salesman who learns that his passenger is Death, children who can absorb the psychic pain of their parents, a desperately pursued serial killer who hides his face under gauze in a hospital room, and a woman who loves the alien infant nobody else wants - these stories and 10 others make up this collection by award-winning author Ed Gorman. Here are stories that led him to be called "one of the best" by Dean Koontz and "one of the most original writers in crime fiction today" by Kirkus Reviews. Here, you'll find the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award.

Included in Different Kinds of Dead, and Other Tales are "Different Kinds of Dead", "Deathman", "A Girl Like You", "Loverboy", "Muse", "Riff", "The Brasher Girl", "Survival", "Masque", "Second Most Popular", and others.

This collection reveals the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award. His protagonists, gritty and gruff, are strangely likable, and his writing, according to Mystery News, is "powerful, disturbing, [and] often poetic".

This collection features a selection of classic short stories and poems by legendary Western authors Stephen Crane, Bret Harte, and Jack London.

Here is the absolute best of Dave Barry; selections from four of his most popular books, including the hilarious Guide to Guys. Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe....

From the grand old man of comedy, George Burns, to the up-to-the minute observations of today's everyman, Dave Barry, these great humorists share one thing in common: their very individual, often raucously funny perceptions of the world around them.

One of America's most beloved social commentators—Pulitzer Prize-winning and bestselling author Russell Baker—followed up his bestselling memoir, The Good Times, with this collection of his best New York Times columns, dating back to 1962. There' s a Country in My Cellar covers Baker's usual wide range of topics, told in a wonderfully funny style, and many of which are profoundly serious beneath the banter.

An entertaining collection by seven renowned American mystery writers— including Mary Higgins Clark and Whitley Strieber— this anthology offers a delightful mix of mystery, suspense, and murder.

Ever notice how bad song lyrics get stuck in your head? It's not just you. After Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry's column about this tendency, reader response was enormous. But Barry didn't know what he was getting himself into when he invited his Legion of Alert Readers to submit their nominees in the Bad Song Survey. "Song badness," he soon learned, "is an issue that Americans care deeply about."

If there's even a smidgen of Scrooge in your psyche, just say, "Bah-Humbug!" and laugh at this satire of the treacly best seller, The Christmas Box. Among the variations on the theme are: The Christmas Vox, in which a young man finds himself having phone sex with Ms. Santa Claus; The Christmas Jury Box, a touching memoir by a sequestered O.J. juror who misses her fruitcake; and The Christmas Box Lunch, the touching tale of a caterer's X-mas. You'll be pleased to learn that the true meaning of Christmas is receiving.

The seven stories that represent Fantasy and Science Fiction Magazine's July and August 2003 issues exhibit an unusual diversity of almost familiar worlds.

Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.

Arriving home after another failed burglary, John Dortmunder is shocked to find his apartment occupied by a notorious cellmate that everyone had supposed (and hoped) had been jailed for life. Tom Jimson needs Dortmunder's help. Thirty years before his last prison stretch, Tom had pulled a big job up near Albany, one that left a cool $700,000 in cash buried under a water reservoir near Albany, New York. Tom's plan is to blow up the dam, flood the surrounding countryside, and grab the cash.

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Robert Olen Butler tells a magical and humorous contemporary fable that captures the state of humanity at the cusp of a new millennium - as seen through the uniquely sensitive perspective of an empathetic extraterrestrial. An audible.com audio exclusive!

Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and nonsense from famous and infamous figures past and present, are all here in one digest that will have you howling with laughter. Imagine saying to the Beatles, "You'll never make it…Go back to Liverpool." That's what a Decca Records executive told the Fab Four in 1962. Senator S.I. Hayakawa allegedly pointed out, "The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."

Now a major motion picture! Everyone deserves a second chance on the course--and in life. Join golf pro Wally Armstrong and author Ken Blanchard as they condense decades of practical know-how into a simple book with an incredible, inspiring message: sometimes we all need a mulligan. Meet Paul...

Murder in a Distant Land the stories for this annual collection of the Mystery Writers of America were selected for their strange and exotic locales. Breathtaking suspense, cold-blooded crime, and challenging twists of plot - set in the four corner of the world - make this recording a chilling audio experience. We suggest you listen with the lights on!