Showing results by author "Morris Gleitzman" in All Categories

Limpy the toad has a vision. A world where cane toads and humans play mudslides together and help each other with the shopping. But how does a young cane toad discover the ancient secret of living in peace with humans? First he has to dodge the killer trucks and supermarket trolleys. Then he has to stop his cousin declaring war on the entire human race.

What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are past it? Get them into shape, decides Keith. And find them new partners. It's a brilliant plan, but he'll need help.

A young Aussie soccer genius and his 10-year-old manager take on the world. And win. For a time. A funny and moving story from one of Australia's most entertaining authors.

"I burst out of a clump of bushes and froze. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky were several massive shapes. What if Eileen had infected something else? What if the hospital had cockroaches? Or bedbugs? What if the frogs weren't all dead? I stifled a scream."

Jake lives with his parents in a holiday hideaway hotel; the hotel's main attraction is that it is a "kid-free" zone. When a couple from a magazine arrive to do a feature on the hotel, Jake must keep out of the way to ensure they have a great kid-free time. But things don't go according to plan.

'What I need,' said Pearl as she started to slide off the roof, 'is a grandmother.' Where do you get a top gran at short notice? It's not easy, but Pearl's got Winston to help her, and you can do anything when your best friend is the world's brainiest guinea pig. Then Pearl meets Gran and the surprises begin. A moving and unforgettable story from Australia's funniest children's author.

"Limpy has a dream. A dream where cane toads and humans live happily together. Surely, this time Limpy will be able to show humans how nice cane toads can be? After all, it is Christmas. And isn't Christmas a time of peace and goodwill to all men? And cane toads? A hilarious story of one cane toad's quest to experience the true meaning of Christmas.

It starts off as a normal week for Rowena. A car full of stewed apples. A police call. A desperate struggle to keep Dad off national TV.

It's not easy being part of Ginger's family when you're allergic to cats; three of them love cats and five of them are cats. Now, the school principal is trying to kill Ginger's new best friend, a fierce-looking stray dog. Can Ginger expose Mr. Napier for the phoney he is?

Two hours ago, when I walked into this school for the first time, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and, apart from a knot in my guts the size of Tasmania, life was great.

Thomas is eleven and lives with his mum and dad and big sister, Alisha. He was a pretty normal kid until two weeks ago, when he discovered he had developed a startling new ability. Every time anyone tells a lie, Thomas develops a violent itch in his nipples. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and gets Thomas into all sorts of trouble.

"'There he is', Gramps shrieked. 'The Spy. The scumbag spy.' I looked up and saw a monstrous white hairy face disappear into the drain. I had never seen such a frightening sight. White hair covered its entire head. I couldn't even see any eyes. In a flash Gramps splashed into the drain after it."

Rowena Batts has enough problems in her life without adopting a crazy cockatoo. She's just splattered two hundred grown-ups with jelly and custard, and her dad's getting married to her teacher. But Sticky the cockatoo turns out to be just the friend she needs.

Stop your mum picking her nose, read the secret diary of a dog, catch a bus and then let it go, discover how one slice of toast can make you the most popular person in school, start wearing a crown and give up eating pig-nostril gruel, use a wrecking ball to defeat a bully, show your big sister the very scary secret in your wardrobe, unleash the awesome power of chips, live in a house that gets wiped clean more often than a bottom. Funny stories from a favourite Australian author.

'Ouch,' said Limpy. 'Why's my back hurting?' A horrible thought hit him. Perhaps it was a fork wound. Perhaps while he was unconscious the human had tried to eat him. He looked around. 'Stack me,' said Limpy. All he could see was blue plastic. Limpy's on a quest to find toad heaven. A place where cane toads won't be blown up with bike pumps or bashed over the head with folding chairs. Limpy's determined to find this place if it takes the rest of his life. But first he has to get out of the bucket.

"Doug's not like one of those posh guardian angels in the Bible," Gran used to say. "He's invisible, he doesn't do violence and he's very busy, so if you need him you've got to ask." I'm asking you now, Doug. Mitch needs help. Everyone hates him, but he's got a plan that'll make him the most popular bloke in town. If it doesn't kill him. He hopes his guardian angel is listening.

Even more desperate to save his family from ending up on his stack of squashed relatives, Limpy takes his quest to the airwaves. When a TV cooking show kidnaps Goliath to be their main ingredient, Limpy sets out to rescue him and ends up on camera himself. Can Limpy use his 15 minutes of fame to get humans to lay off the cane-toad squashing? Or will that be a recipe for disaster?

Amy and Sprocket are on a mission - to find her dad and his mum, rescue the baby from the Brats and uncover exactly what is going on inside the mysterious nudist colony. But the truth is even more terrifying than anything they imagined. Uncovering deadly secret after deadly secret, Amy and Sprocket are lured deeper into a mystery that gets more exciting with every minute.

I gulped. My mouth was dry. How could I tell her? How could I just announce that her son?s innards had been sucked out by giant worms and that his skin was probably flapping somewhere in the morning breeze? I turned away, struggling to find the words.

Bumface! That's who Angus wants to be. He dreams of being bold, brave, wild and free. Like the pirate in the stories he tells his younger brother and sister. Instead, Angus is just plain tired from changing nappies and wiping food off walls. His mum calls him Mr. Dependable, but Angus can barely cope. Another baby would be a disaster. So Angus comes up with a bold and brave plan to stop her getting pregnant. That's when he meets Rindi And Angus thought he had a problem before...