Showing results by narrator "Andy Jones" in All Categories

Operation Cordelia is an espionage-comedy told through “found audio” (news reports, tapped phone calls, bugged offices, and people secretly wearing wires) about one neurotic CIA agent’s attempt to stop a mass terror attack in 1970s Berlin.

Why do farts smell? Which foods make the best bottom burps? What happens if you let one rip in space? All these stinking questions and more will be answered in ... THE FARTIONARY! Andy Jones explodes the farty facts! Find out: - the do's and don'ts of the babbling bottom - why the family that farts together stays together - what to do when Pop goes POP! Plus, discover your farting personality type, learn how to talk your way out of a stinky situation and impress your friends with the funniest fart jokes. The coolest collection of all things farty!

My name is Simon. I’m 10 years old. I’m a serial killer. Robert Stern (Rupert Penry-Jones), a successful defense attorney, doesn’t know what lies in store for him when he agrees to meet a new client in a derelict estate on the outskirts of Berlin. Stern is more than surprised, when his old love interest and professional nurse Carina (Emilia Fox) presents him a ten year old boy as his new client. Simon (Jack Boulter), a terminally ill child, who is convinced he has murdered many men in a previous life.

London 1888, a most murderous year. The Metropolitan Police, reeling after a determined summer bombing campaign by Irish revolutionaries, is on the verge of breaking point come the Autumn by an illusive serial killer calling themselves "Jack the Ripper".

Two enemies find themselves trapped together in an abandoned church on the far edge of Sherwood. Robin of Loxley and the Sheriff of Nottingham are both wounded, and without weapons, in the care of a hedge-priest. The ancient law of sanctuary means that no blood can be shed but emotions are running feverishly high.

In an era where digital threats are ever-present, the need for cybersecurity solutions is at an all-time high. How to Start a Cybersecurity Consulting Business is a crucial resource for those who want to establish a successful consulting firm in this booming industry.

The explosive thriller from Andy Jones, author of "Succession of Power". High treason in Downing Street. The nation faces a secret coup, and only an inexperienced MI5 agent and a journalist with a bad reputation can see it. If they can expose the conspiracy, we stand a chance. If not, the country is doomed.

Summer 1940. The defense of a nation depends on just a few young pilots. After invading and occupying half of mainland Europe, Adolf Hitler set his sights on the British Isles. Although the Royal Navy and the British Army were ready to fight, the first line of defense was the Royal Air Force and the men of fighter command. Call Sign Panther tells the story of the Battle of Britain as seen through the eyes of a young pilot, Jack Sommers.

Former child queen Elida was driven from her throne at age 10 and forced to wander the galaxy, evading the revolutionary forces that wanted her dead. When an old frenemy claims to know the whereabouts of Elida’s long-lost mother, she is forced to return to her former kingdom and stage a rescue.

Some people truly want to scare you to death, and these UK haunters will rock your Halloween like nowhere else on earth. See the scares and fear tactics from the inside out, and meet the people truly committed to the craft of horror and primal terror to create experiences that you will never forget.

Jack, the delightful, mischievous, big-hearted hero of so many Newfoundland folktales, is worried about his parents. They aren’t getting any younger; in fact, they’re really quite old. So, Jack and his brothers Bill and Tom decide to set out and find a magic fruit that will make the old young again. Told with the humor, warmth, and sly wit that have made Andy Jones one of Newfoundland’s finest and best-loved storytellers, The Queen of Paradise’s Garden follows Jack on his way to the land of the Queen of Paradise, three miles this side of the end of the world.

Jack o’ Hearts is the top card player in the parish and is feeling pretty sure of himself. When he is challenged to a card game with stakes higher than high by a mysterious green man, well, Jack can’t resist. Sure, he’s never lost a tournament yet, has he? A hilarious reimagining of a traditional Newfoundland folktale, Jack and the Green Man is jam-packed with magic, romance, transformations, impossible tasks, unforgettable characters, a love ballad or two, and the ever-present threat of Jack’s head ending up on a spear.

Helen is a fine hand with a slingshot, and more than at home in the woods. After all, she was raised by bears for a time. When she stumbles on the castle of three evil giants, she comes up with the perfect plan to rid the land of them. Well, almost perfect... Andy Jones’s hilarious new folktale adaptation/middle reader Barefoot Helen and the Giants is jam-packed with adventures and tales of adventure. It celebrates brave and resourceful girls, blended families, and storytelling itself.

Former child queen Elida was driven from her throne at age 10 and forced to wander the galaxy, evading the revolutionary forces that wanted her dead. When an old frenemy claims to know the whereabouts of Elida’s long-lost mother, she is forced to return to her former kingdom and stage a rescue.

A hilarious new audio collection from best-selling author and entertainer Andy Jones. The funniest collection of rap, rhyme, riddles and poems you've ever heard! An awesome new collection from the best-selling author of The Enormous Book of Hot Jokes for Kool Kids and The Fartionary.

Andy Jones continues his hilarious journey through the human digestive system and tells you everything you (n)ever wanted to know about burps! Whether they be lady-like hiccups or onion-breath stinkers, burps are an essential part of the human experience. The Burptionary is jam-packed full of belchy facts, gaseous jokes and burp-tastic riddles and rhymes, and is guaranteed to have boys everywhere laughing till they spew.

This time Jack, the “King of Ashes”, spends all his time hove off in the coal box, until one day he shakes off his ashes and sets out on an adventure that includes sneaky robbers, a “famous missing princess with reward attached”, an always-surprising canine sidekick, a royal wedding, a lovelorn rooster-puppet, a conniving ship’s captain, corpses, curses, kisses, a coat, and a whole lot more!

Jack and Mary in the Land of Thieves finds Jack, that everyman of folktales, married to his sweetheart, Mary, the best woman ever born and a mighty fine baker to boot. Their lives are as happy and successful as can be, until an underhanded sea captain and Jack’s own bragging get the better of our hero. Jack is sent at once to work on Slave Islands, and Mary is turned out of house and home. But Mary is resolute and resourceful and has plans to find Jack and restore their fortunes.

Jack and the Manger retells the story of Jesus’ birth as if it were a Newfoundland folktale. It’s all seen through the eyes of Jack, the hero of many a story, who befriends a young couple on their walk to Bethlehem. There’s a bit of "angel talk", some gravel pit camping, an edge-of-your-seat birth drama, and the low-down on how Caesar Augustus’ "count-and-tax plan" brought them all together.

For King and Country, Tony Stone is willing to walk away from everything he cares about. His home. His family. The job he loves. But first he has to give up the thing most important to him. His own life. In this breathtaking thriller from Andy Jones, we learn just how far one man is willing to go to be the hero. Even if it means losing everything.