Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

In an isolated village at the edge of a forest, the last of humanity ekes out a spirited existence on an Earth that was ravaged by cataclysm generations ago. Here, Sky Memoriam prepares to assume the role of memory keeper, sole relator of the long-forgotten histories of the Old World. But Sky is in for a shock.

What is it like for an Alien to go on vacation Earth-style? DaR and the others are about to find out, let the giggles begin.

To the outside world, Sarah Hart has it all, starting with the captain's insignia on her International Space Corps uniform. But from there, it's strictly downhill. Far from her dreams of military service, Hart's life at the helm of the Milky Pleasure is just as icky as its name suggests, her cruise ship full of fleshy fantasy seekers and the crew equipped with more baggage than the passengers. Throw in an alien species determined to erase humanity, and a dead-end job looks like it's coming to a, well, dead end.

In a world where everyone has a superpower, his was being a geek. Cue was perfectly happy working as a tech super in the dingy basement of Seattle's Superhero Office. Or at least he was until he got mixed up with a machine that could increase superpowers, foreign agents, and a fire-wielding gang of criminals. Now he's dodging fireballs and using his power to change old tech into something that can keep him alive. Luckily, he has a knack for being a hero.

Rory Thorne is a princess with 13 fairy blessings, the most important of which is to see through flattery and platitudes. As the eldest daughter, she always imagined she'd inherit her father's throne and govern the interplanetary Thorne Consortium. Then, her father is assassinated, her mother gives birth to a son, and Rory is betrothed to the prince of a distant world. When Rory arrives in her new home, she uncovers a treacherous plot to unseat her newly betrothed and usurp his throne.

Tremendous. Tremendously tremendous. Tremendous in its tremendocity. That is how I would describe book four in the Arena series. I say so. Everyone says so. But mostly, I say so. My best friend, Marc Havak, who I hand-picked to represent the planet Earth in an interstellar gladiatorial competition, has kicked-butt and taken names, as I knew he would. Everyone I pick wins. And they win bigly. But this audiobook, wow, this one is amazing. Intense action with yours truly saving the day and telling these alien losers how much they suck? You're hired.

The Cryptids have started to kill a large amount of humans in the Upper Midwest. Banks' bosses told her not to call in the Cryptid Assassin.... He's too expensive. Now, the showdown between Taylor and the creatures will stop when one or the other is dead...and it isn't looking good for Taylor.

My name is Jonohkada. I have been to many places on many planets. I have arrived on Earth, not for the first time, in search of my mate. This time I find her. Unfortunately, her roommate shrewdly suspects my otherness and orders me to reveal that I am an alien. As my mate is about to learn, I have to obey the order. I have to obey every order any female gives me. It has caused—and will cause even more—trouble for me. This is why I've begun employing a terrible defensive tactic to protect myself.

Space Academy Graduates is where the worst crew in the galaxy's adventures come full circle! Vance Turbo and company have returned to Space Academy, the place where it all began, in order to investigate the murder of Earth's highest decorated officer. Along the way, they'll discover the secrets of the mysterious Department 12, the responsibilities of power, and the dangers that come from SPACE VAMPIRES! Yes, it's always capitalized.

Kill-crazy mercenaries, gargantuan monstrosities, and a "sixth sense" that may be a death wish in disguise. Augie Brunthouse's first day of work is not going well. It all started with Chuck Vestiglio's exile and subsequent suicide on his private island, derisively dubbed "Supersize Island" by the press. Now the disgraced hamburger baron's unhinged son has vowed to silence the family's critics with a psychotic plot to grow beef better. Alas, his wildly illegal biotech experiments have gone wrong in a very BIG way. Somebody needs to look into it.

Neal Gordon and his partners, former actress Lucy Westenra and intelligent canine Barksley, are in hot water with Cyberlife after a bust goes disastrously wrong. Put on what is likely to be permanent suspension, they receive a job offer to work for EarthGov directly. Unfortunately, EarthGov is hiring them because they know a catastrophic plague is about to be unleashed throughout the Moon's neighborhood.

Gabrielle’s younger sisters have arrived on Mars City! Despite their angelic appearance, Ariel and Michelle are a pair of troublemakers who are constantly arguing and seem intent on causing more mayhem for Alex, Gabrielle, and everyone else involved. They have also been set up in an arranged marriage to the same man. Naturally, that means Alex is going to protect them from the machinations of their father. That’s what heroes are supposed to do, after all. But unbeknownst to him, an even greater threat than fatherly schemes is lurking on Mars City.

Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to be slaughtered and turned into burgers. He has had better Thursdays. Bob's handler Fred befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans from food to intelligent life so that the slaughter ship can be stopped and everyone returned to Earth.

It’s a miracle. The fountain of youth discovered flowing through the veins of postmillennials. In idyllic planned communities, freed from adulting and student loans, the young can live in guilt-free organic luxury. All it costs them is a weekly blood donation to extend the lives of their privileged elders. But prices are going up. There’s much more to the utopian Sunset Consortium than anyone realizes in this chilling trilogy.

After returning to 1979, when he changed history and prevented the murder of his wife, Frank Stone thought he was done with time travel. He thought wrong. A British time travel murder mystery – a witty whodunnit, back in the 1970s. Thirty-six years have elapsed since Frank saved his ex-wife. A murder which, because of the effects of time travel, never happened – or did it? Now, in 2015 again, and after enjoying his new life, Frank faces an impossible dilemma.

You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.

Special Agent Niki Banks has called in a favor, and now Taylor has a young hacker with an attitude as an employee. Along with new monsters to kill, a business to get off the ground, a relationship with an annoying FBI handler to...deal with, Taylor is becoming a surrogate male figure for a role he didn't want. But he may be the best man for the job.

Neal Gordon screwed up his assignment on Mars and they reassigned him to Antarctica. Now he's being reassigned some place even worse: Luna City. A crime ridden hellhole with a super-rich ruling class, he almost immediately finds himself targeted by bounty hunters and cyborg terrorists. Thankfully, Neal has an unusual set of partners in robot dog, Barksley, and the snarky but badass Lucy Westenra. Yes, make all the vampire jokes you want.

As I grapple with the weight of responsibility as the captain of a formidable dreadnought, I'm thrust headlong into a relentless battle for the survival of the last vestiges of civilization. The number of beautiful women I care for has grown, as has the number of my children, and their safety has become my unwavering priority. To protect them and ensure a brighter future, I must confront ruthless alien mutants and savage space pirates, odds that seem insurmountable.

Felix used to be a traveling salesman, drifting through the galaxy and hawking his wares. Used to be, that is, until a freak accident in an out-of-the-way system. One rough landing later, Felix finds himself stranded on a wild, alien planet - front and center - in a deadly role he never auditioned for to entertain a secret audience. The upside? A fellow passenger made it to the escape pod with Felix. With this reptilian stranger at his side, he’s not totally alone. The downside? They don’t share a language.