Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

The Galactic Empire disappeared a lifetime ago. Jake Stewart doesn't care, he needs to earn a living. He fled his station in the outer Belt, enrolled in the merchant academy, and snagged a scholarship. The future looks bright. But a crooked boss, some paperwork shenanigans, and a freeloading best friend put him in a bind. When he's accused of a murder he didn't commit he goes on the run from the Planetary Militia. There's only his wits and a suspiciously helpful pretty girl between him and jail. Can he trust her to prove his innocence? Or does she have another agenda?

Rory Thorne is a princess with 13 fairy blessings, the most important of which is to see through flattery and platitudes. As the eldest daughter, she always imagined she'd inherit her father's throne and govern the interplanetary Thorne Consortium. Then, her father is assassinated, her mother gives birth to a son, and Rory is betrothed to the prince of a distant world. When Rory arrives in her new home, she uncovers a treacherous plot to unseat her newly betrothed and usurp his throne.

Dr. Anarchy has succeeded! He's won! He took over the world! Well...one small corner of it at least. Now that he is God-Emperor of Rhode Island, he intends to show the world he's a lot more than an ordinary supervillain.

Jerusalem (Jeru) Pix virtually lives in the virtual worlds he loves until his high school crush asks him to do a teeny, tiny favor: stop her brother from becoming the next cult-inspired suicide bomber to target the wealthiest one percent. Jeru ventures from his safe life in cyberspace (and his parents’ condo) into the chaos of mid-21st-century Atlanta, where terrorism and religious zealotry are rampant and the ultra-rich have retreated into their own state within a state. Now, Jeru will have to become a hero in real life, with no do-overs, save points, or bathroom breaks.

Elvis is spending his golden years at the Mud Creek Shady Grove Convalescence Home alongside a man claiming to be President John F. Kennedy. Strange sights and sounds leads the two to discover an ancient Egyptian mummy stalking the corridors of their retirement home. They soon face off against the monster...but will anyone believe their story or shrug it off as more tall tales?

Chris thought he had it all. But then his dreams of space travel ended in the worst way possible, and he was reincarnated as the goblin king of Rava. Now he leads a loyal-but-pathetic gang of blue-furred boneheads. And with his smarts, a tech tree gifted by the enigmatic System, and his army of extremely eager if accident-prone followers, he's managed to drag them all out of the muck and into an industrial age of combustion machines.

With Sector Zero in ruins and Sarah stolen away, T.E.D.D.—the scarred trash droid—charges after the Manager into a jungle fortress teeming with MilBots and something far more sinister. Inside, The Manager is growing a new horror—and only T.E.D.D. can stop him. To save Sarah, and the fate of the world, he must overcome killer machines, creatures that shouldn't exist, and the darkest parts of himself... before the Manager’s plan consumes the world.

A promise made is a promise kept. Those words stayed in the front of my mind, reminding me that I had to go back down into the city, deep into gang territory, to rescue another woman. I had concerns about how well she would get along with the others, though. Gigantic mutants could sometimes be... testy. But on the brighter side of things, Hope was doing great! Our settlement grew stronger every day, with improved power systems, gardens, and finally some clean water. Our numbers slowly but steadily increased, as did our safety.

Captain Quasar is out of time. Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

She is a dungeon creature bound by the rules of the dungeon. Her job is to do bunny things, like eat and hop, and eventually fall prey to larger creatures. A bunny need do nothing more. However, she cannot help herself. Everyday as adventurers pass through the cave that she calls home, she sees them wielding strange and fascinating magic but more importantly...she hears them talking.

‘Planet B’ is a virtual world with the slogan 'where you can be whatever you want to be.' Users can download themselves into it and play as a life-size avatars in a 3-D world. When Lioba Fielding dies in the real world, her boyfriend John Armstrong downloads himself into Planet B in an attempt to find her avatar. As he travels between various worlds he becomes entangled in an array of strange scenarios, teleporting from each adventure to the next with his companion Medley, a 'rogue avatar' who has no human controller.

Gary Karkofsky, a.k.a. Merciless: The Supervillain Without MercyTM, is enjoying the bliss of a newly rebooted Earth. Ultragod is President of the United States, most supervillains are either harmless or imprisoned, and superpowers are being used to benefit all mankind. Of course it couldn't last. Suffering a near fatal heart attack and under attack by extra-dimensional evils, Gary struggles to find an object that might repair the universe he's unwittingly damaged the fabric of.

Caught in the ultimate tourist trap, exiled in a bizarre galaxy, Captain Leo MacGavin is desperate to find the mythical alien technology that will send his crew home. But when his crush on the ship’s hologram causes him to follow a shady lead, the Americano Grande is trapped by a pair of all-powerful space gods. Duty-bound to protect their planet, these sexy centurions refuse to allow passage until the crew proves they are a harmless pleasure vessel. Fortunately, all they have to do is show their passengers a good time.

It's a dirty galaxy and someone has to clean it. Avoiding the wealthy inhabitants on the upper levels of Station Kelly Kornienko is bot-programmer Triana’s number one rule - until one of her cleaning bots finds a dead body. A girl has to pay the rent, even on a crappy studio compartment, so Triana lends her programming skills to Agent O’Neill’s investigation. Together, they find more victims and evidence of a major cover-up. It will take all of Triana’s technical talents and some really excellent croissants to stop the murders, save her job, and ultimately, her life.

Lost at the far side of the sun, two pilots, five space tourists, and one fluffy dog explore a miniature planet steeped in mystery. The planet is small enough to circumnavigate in a few hours. Treetop clouds form in unusual shapes. And what's that rumble each morning? Even their remarkably perceptive pup hasn't figured that one out. Will they be marooned forever? It will take scientific ingenuity and a good sense of humor, but these marginally clever castaways stand a chance.

As the Synth-Hastur begin to exterminate life in the Milky Way, the crew of the Deus Ex faces the monumental challenge of stopping their advance. Yet, as they embark on their mission, they discover the galaxy they once knew has undergone unexpected changes. An old adversary resurfaces with an agenda that will turn the Galactic Federation itself against them. On the run from everything they've ever known, grappling with hidden truths and conflicting loyalties, the shakedowners with a knack for the unconventional embark on a journey to safeguard the galaxy.

At the end of the world, zombies may not be the monsters we should fear. The faithful have been blinded by the evil that hid among them. The twisted gospel is so perverted that it leads them to commit unspeakable debauchery and depravity on the same level as the peevies. The exposed pastor, Mike Brown, and his wife, Lauren, face the all-consuming vengeance of their once beloved congregation.

All seems lost when Olivia, princess of the space-faring Human Empire, is taken captive by a powerful new agent of the Mystic Empire. Her only chance at survival comes from the most unlikely of sources: the Mystics themselves.

Bob Johansson recién vendió su compañía de software por una pequeña fortuna y le ilusiona vivir la vida en grande. Lo primero en su lista de pendientes: gastar su nuevo dinero. En un derroche, contrata un servicio para preservar su cabeza en criogenia, en caso de muerte. Momentos después, pierde la vida al cruzar una calle. Al despertar, 117 años después, Bob descubre que su mente ha sido cargada a una sonda espacial inteligente, con la habilidad de replicarse a sí misma.

Kyra Bishop sits in a jail cell, facing the consequences of her refusal to betray her principles. The in-game murder of her arch-enemy by a new ally has landed her in peril. To secure her freedom, Kyra is forced to swallow her pride and make a deal with the one she loathes most, so she begrudgingly allows him to join her crew. But when she returns to Retribution, her powerful new ally, Admiral Grieves, introduces a mysterious passenger whose revelations about the demigoddess haunting Kyra's existence send shockwaves through her reality.