Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

Belvaille has cemented its place as the most important system in the galaxy and Hank is working as an official Factotum, negotiating deals between gangs and noblemen under the watchful eye of the Arch Minister. When his ever-capable butler, Cliston, is approached to become the General Manager of a Super Class glocken team, Hank is hired not only as protection, but as a player. Hank finds himself thrown into the most grueling bloodsport in the galaxy and tasked with finding out how and why players are being abducted.

The supervillains of DESTRON have conquered the country, The Big Axe has been imprisoned, and the heroes of the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection have been reduced to hiding behind a force field surrounding New York City. And if that's not enough, Andrea Vernon is pregnant. With a Little Axe. But Andrea’s not one to sit on the sidelines. She has to make a plan to save the country, rescue her boyfriend, and figure out what exactly people do with babies.

I don't know what the humans are so cranky about. Their enclosures are large, they ingest over 1,000 calories per day, and they're allowed to mate. Plus, they have me: an Autonomous Servile Unit, housed in a mobile/bipedal chassis. I do my job well: keep the humans healthy and happy.

At 35, Mike Cohen lives the American dream. With billions in the bank and his own venture capital firm, he's succeeded beyond his Russian immigrant mother's wildest hopes. The only problem? A car accident that leaves Mike's mother with memory problems. Brainocytes, a new technology developed by one of Mike's portfolio companies, may be the answer to his mother's injury - and offer applications that push the limits of the human mind. Only Mike isn't the only one who sees its potential.

The last freelance PI on earth, Zach Johnson has been hired to track down a young beauty who happens to be a deadly secret weapon for the World Council. Figuring girls just want to have fun, he follows Natasha to various vacation destinations, but she eludes him, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. Zach, however, isn’t surprised to discover that things aren’t what they seem, and to save the world, he’s going to have to find a way to team up with the woman he’s supposed to destroy....

My name is Klutch Zuma. I was the number one graduate from my recruit class. As it turns out, it was just the start of several unlikely number ones I would achieve during my rise through the ranks. In many cases, I was promoted over a host of more qualified individuals based on my survival skills alone. To say that my unusual progress caused a lot of friction between me and my superiors, would be an understatement. Some went out of their ways to throw up roadblocks that would make my life miserable. It only hardened my resolve and made me persevere through the worst they could throw at me.

With the help of a team from a nearby settlement, the rebuilding begins with a focus on safety. Their healer, Jessica, is as beautiful as she is tough. If we could convince her to stay in Hope that would be a huge advantage. More hands means less work, and soon we had a thriving garden and four livable homes. With some help, I began work on a waterwheel that could power our new settlement. Next step: getting the plumbing working again. Things were going well, and life was simple and satisfying when we focused on the basics.

Nacho had zero intentions to make friends. He certainly had no plans to be put in the unenviable position of being the leader of a guild. But if there’s one thing that he excels at, it certainly isn’t cooking. No, he’s far better at rolling with the punches and making sure the people around him survive. When literal monsters are everywhere, that’s the kind of person you want in charge. But this world isn’t what he’s been expecting. Things are different. He is different. By succeeding so much, so fast, humanity has unlocked the next stage of the Juxtaposition, years before they’re ready for it.

In the aftermath of a harrowing battle against a relentless undead horde, Spot, our valiant warrior, delves deeper into the shadows to cleanse the lingering corruption. Meanwhile, Bee maintains their hard-won peace at home. Yet, the order they seek remains elusive.

The Cryptids have started to kill a large amount of humans in the Upper Midwest. Banks' bosses told her not to call in the Cryptid Assassin.... He's too expensive. Now, the showdown between Taylor and the creatures will stop when one or the other is dead...and it isn't looking good for Taylor.

The debut standalone novel from author Edward Ashton, author of Mickey7, THREE DAYS IN APRIL is a near-future speculative thriller that marks the entry of a bright new voice into the genre. Anders Jensen is having a bad month. His roommate is a data thief, his girlfriend picks fights in bars...

I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans.

Having rescued thousands of people from being sacrificed, Evelyn could use some peace and quiet. Life has other plans. She quickly finds herself drawn into assisting a deity with a small problem, only to return and find that her great-grandmother has learned of her existence. Being drawn into the affairs of the fey is not for the faint of heart, but Evelyn isn't about to let them manipulate her. Not even if they're family.

A price on their heads has driven Jerry, the post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior, Erica, and their loyal mastiff west in search of a new beginning. But when their truck breaks down in what was once Southern Colorado, they are swept into an epic quest at the behest of King Elias, ruler of the Kingdom of the Five Peaks. On their quest, they will meet old friends and new foes, mutant cannibals, savage mountain men, fearsome knights, and much, much more.

Eli "Nacho" Naches is a fearsome assassin who has lost everything in a post-apocalyptic world full of monstrous creatures. He knows where he fits in this horror show, and he’s only been hanging around to see what’s going to be thrown at him next. When he’s finally put in chains and sent to the chopping block, he goes readily...only to be unexpectedly sent back in time to his younger body with his memories intact and the chance to make a difference.

This Christmas, a hero will rise from the trailer park. Earl Frost isn't what most people would call a hero. He's indoorsy. He lives with his grandma in a 1970s single wide in the Misty Pines Trailer Park. He spends most of his time taking care of his pet fish and working nights at Cecil's Gas 'n' Stop. Earl Frost also hates Christmas, which is a cardinal sin up there with pride and greed in Holiday Lake. Holiday Lake is like a town on a Christmas card, or in one of those holiday romance movies that play non-stop on TV. Everyone here loves Christmas. Except for Earl.

Dorian Hawke's daily routine was pretty straightforward. Wake up, pull his weight around the village, eat potatoes, go to bed. Not too shabby. Not very interesting, maybe, but it was honest work. Then a boat falls like a meteor from the sky. Next thing he knows, a gorgeous elf and stunning faun tell him that magical blood runs through his veins, and they need him to navigate their ship through space.

I thought volunteering to be put into cryostasis for three days would be a great way to make some extra cash. Apparently, the rest of the world thought it would be a great time for an all-out nuclear war. Destruction was unleashed on such an incredible scale they say the very laws of physics changed. Now, massive mutants roam the city, looking for something—or someone—to eat. Violent gangs fight for control of the city's remains. Strange, human-animal hybrids are now part of our struggling societies. And perhaps strangest of all, magic is now real. Yeah, I'm still trying to process that one.

In a not-so-distant future, a deadly pandemic has forced the world into social isolation. Confined to their homes, millions now survive off drone-delivered food packages and online-only interactions. It’s an especially lonely life for John Chambers, a drone shipment coordinator for the monolithic Chum Corporation. Trapped in his dead-end job, John has started spending much more of his time grinding in virtual reality role-playing games.

Ben and the crew have set course for an alien planet, but the inhabitants are far from what they expected. They have answers that could get their baby Viraquin home, but Ben isn’t sure he’s willing to pay the price for the well-guarded secret. En route to the planet, they receive a distress call from a crippled ship and are bound by law to help. The life support system onboard is failing and the crew is dying. Ben and Lois are their last hope. A power coupling is easy enough to get to ensure their survival… they just have to plunder it from another ship.