Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humour

Septimus Heap, the seventh son of the seventh son, disappears the night he is born, pronounced dead by the midwife. That same night, the baby's father, Silas Heap, comes across an abandoned child in the snow—a newborn girl with violet eyes. Who is this mysterious baby girl, and what really happened to the Heaps' beloved son Septimus?

Mr Twit is a foul and smelly man who always has bits of cornflake and sardine in his beard. Mrs Twit is scheming and sly and always thinking of the next horrible trick to play on her husband. The Twits are so ghastly and evil that they even keep Muggle-Wump the monkey and his family captive in their garden. But not for much longer! The monkeys are planning to trick the terrible Twits so that they can escape and put a stop to the frightful pair once and for all!

Daniel and Lottie finally have their first date. A trip to a fancy gelato in Brighton. But how do you eat ice-cream in front of your crush and is Lottie ready for her first kiss? I mean he's nice and all but boys are still a bit gross, right? The school holidays are looming, and with Lottie off camping to France for two weeks and Daniel spending most of the summer on a fancy Greek island, it looks as if the young lovebirds will be cruelly ripped apart. But then Lottie makes friends with a French boy called Antoine.

Warning! Do not listen to this book. It contains 13 of the silliest tales the treehouse team have ever told. Tales so silly they could break your brain. You have been warned. Ignore it. Ignore it now...by order of the story police.

Will Noah and Violet finally defeat Daniel and his crew of rainbow griefers? Violet and Noah's village is celebrating the new amusement park opening in town. Everyone is enjoying the fun rides and tasty food. But when Noah spots a rainbow griefer in the village carrying blocks of TNT, the celebration suddenly stops. Before the townspeople can do anything about the dangerous interloper, the roller coaster explodes! The accident with the roller coaster is blamed on Noah and Violet's frequent enemy, Daniel.

Mr Fox is a very clever fox - every evening he creeps down into the valley and helps himself to food from the nearby farms. Chickens from Farmer Boggis, ducks and geese from Farmer Bunce, and turkeys from Farmer Bean. But now the farmers have had enough, and together they hatch a plan to get rid of Mr Fox for good! But what they don't know is Mr Fox has some help, and a fantastic escape plan of his own.

The Robot Riot! Test: (1.) Henry McThrottle suspects that the new girl, Roberta Flywheel, is A: a spy. B: a boy. C: a robot. (2.) Roberta writes in her diary that she is on a mission to A: kiss Henry. B: clean up the school. C: exterminate all humans. (3.) Henry and his friends get Grant Gadget to build A: a treehouse. B: a sand castle. C: a robot-fighting robot. (4.) Grant Gadget's robot-fighting robot malfunctions and A: picks flowers. B: starts telling jokes. C: goes completely out of control.

From best-selling author Anh Do comes the fourth instalment in the hilarious hit chapter audiobook series, WeirDo! Weir's back and super weird! Guess what? Our new puppy FiDo is super weird, like us! Perfect! Dad's training to become a firefighter, while Weir's busy with Pet Day! Will FiDo and Blockhead freeze up or find fame?

This audio collection compiles the hilarious escapades of Hiccup and his dragon Toothless from books 4-6. Will Hiccup find the rare cure that will save Fishlegs from the deadly bite of the Venomous Vorpent? Can he return the Fire Egg to the Volcano, stop the Volcano from erupting, and save the Tribes from being wiped out by the terrible sword-claws of the Exterminators? Can he escape the Library Labyrinth and evade the Driller Dragons and Madguts and his Murderous Tribe?

Grey has improved a ton with the help of his friends, and he's closing in on the top tier of players. But then his closest friend announces that he's been asked to join a new squad on the top tier and leaves them in hopes of making the top five with his new squad. Grey is devastated, and his team struggles. He falls back several ranks and begins to wonder if it's even possible to escape the game this season. Some players have been there for many seasons...some aren't even trying to leave because they like it so much. Maybe he should just accept it as his life.

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

Greg Heffley is in big trouble. School property has been damaged, and Greg is the prime suspect. But the crazy thing is, he's innocent. Or at least sort of. The authorities are closing in, but when a surprise blizzard hits, the Heffley family is trapped indoors. Greg knows that when the snow melts he's going to have to face the music, but could any punishment be worse than being stuck inside with your family for the holidays?

Welcome to the Isle of Mulch! This little island is home to a large number of horrible grown-ups. The school, the local park, the toy shop and even the island's ice-cream van, are all run by awful adults who like nothing more than making children miserable. And the island is owned by the most awful one of all: Aunt Greta Greed! Something needs to be done about them. But who could be brave enough? Meet Ned: an extraordinary boy with a special power. SLIMEPOWER!

George and Harold thought they were beyond boogers. Their new pet, Sulu the Bionic Hamster, had defeated the Bionic Booger Boy, and through the wonders of science, Melvin Sneedly had been brought back to normal (well, almost normal). It looked like their last adventure was actually going to have a happy ending...except for one thing (well, three things) - the Ridiculous Robo-Boogers. Now George, Harold, and their buddies are on the run - with the Robo-Boogers in hot, gooey pursuit! Will the boys get away from these gross globs, or will Sulu have to save the day again?

Man-eating sharks will eat anything-including Terry's underpants.

When Monkey is sent into space by a team of scientists, he thinks everything will be smooth sailing. But not everything goes according to plan, and soon Monkey's spaceship crash-lands in a forest, disrupting the peaceful atmosphere. Convinced that he has discovered a new world, power-mad (but mostly incompetent) Monkey claims the forest as his own and determines that all other animals must be banished, including his soon-to-be nemesis, Bunny.

Join Andy and Terry in their wonderfully wild and wacky 104-storey treehouse. You can throw some refrigerators, make some money with the moneymaking machine (or honey if you'd prefer - it makes that, too), climb the never-ending staircase, have a bunfight, deposit some burps in the burp bank, get totally tangled up in the tangled-up level, or just take some time out and relax in the peaceful sunny meadow full of buttercups, butterflies and bluebirds. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!

George and Harold are always good at using their imaginations, and that drives their mean homeroom teacher, Ms. Ribble, crazy! But this time, they’ve come up with much more than a silly prank - they’ve created an actual monster! With her horrendous hairdo and two rabid robots, Wedgie Woman is well on her way to world domination, and only the Waistband Warrior can stop her! The Captain Underpants series is perfect for listeners of all ages. Like the other outrageously funny books by acclaimed author and Caldecott Honor illustrator Dav Pilkey, this adventure is sure to be fun!

Fourth graders George Beard and Harold Hutchins are a couple of class clowns. The only thing they enjoy more than playing practical jokes is creating their own comic books. And together they’ve created the greatest superhero in the history of their elementary school: Captain Underpants! His true identity is SO secret, even HE doesn’t know who he is!

Paddington Bear always manages to find himself in tricky situations, sometimes extraordinary situations. Like the time he had a difficult encounter with a policeman or when he found himself in deep water with a newspaper reporter. But since arriving from his native Peru after an earthquake Paddington has always felt at home with the Brown family who found him on Paddington station.