Showing results by publisher "----RM Alexander" in Humour

Listeners get a chance to participate in James Patterson's wildly successful Middle School series in this interactive book featuring more than 80 hilarious anecdotes from dueling siblings Rafe and Georgia Khatchadorian - plus dozens of fun-filled activities!

In this seventh Middle School episode, Rafe heads back to the place his misadventures began: the dreaded Hills Village Middle School, where he's now being forced to take "special" classes.... He also finds himself joining the school's football team - alongside his main tormenter, Miller the Killer! But Rafe has grand plans for a better year: First he decides to start a supersecret art project that's sure to rock the school.

Kenny Wright is a kid with a secret identity. In his mind he's Stainlezz Steel, superpowered defender of the weak. In reality he's a chess club devotee known as a grandma's boy, a label that makes him an easy target for bullies. Kenny wants to bring a little more Steel to the real world, but the question is: Can he recognize his own true strength before peer pressure forces him to make the worst choice of his life?

After scoring big on national TV in the semifinals contest, everyone back home is jumping on the Jamie Grimm bandwagon, and all the attention might be going to his head. Not only are his friendships starting to suffer, but the pressure of coming up with his best material ever for the ultimate standup act to snag the final win in Hollywood is pushing Jamie to the brink. Suddenly, life isn't looking very funny anymore. Can Jamie take the grand prize without pushing away his fans, friends, and family?

It was never easy for Sammy Hayes-Rodriguez to fit in, so he's dreading the day when his genius mom insists he bring her newest invention to school: a walking, talking robot he calls E—for "Error". Sammy's no stranger to robots—his house is full of a colorful cast of them. But this one not only thinks it's Sammy's brother... it's actually even nerdier than Sammy. Will E be Sammy's one-way ticket to Loserville? Or will he prove to the world that it's cool to be square?

Bick Kidd and his globe-trotting siblings Beck, Storm and Tommy may have completed their first treasure hunt after their father was lost at sea, but their kidnapped mother is still in the hands of nasty pirates. Their search for a rescue plan takes them down the Nile river in Africa, where they'll have to navigate everything from Egyptian pyramids in the desert to wet-and-wild jungles—not to mention life-threatening encounters with wilderness diseases, angry hippos and some seriously bad guys—in order to find the treasure and save the day.

"Bloody Mary.” It was just a silly wishing game - one that Lindsey and her friends had played a hundred times before, in front of a dozen different mirrors. The game never worked. It wasn’t supposed to. But when Lindsey and her friends play “Bloody Mary…” in front of a strange antique mirror, the game quickly turns into a nightmare! One by one their wishes start coming true, with horrifying results. Something evil is lurking behind the looking glass… and Lindsey and her friends learn much too late that wishes don’t come free - and that “Bloody Mary…” is definitely not just a game!

Amanda Peterson has a pet cemetery in her backyard. It’s where she’s buried all her family’s dear departed pets, like Ralphie the hamster, Herman the goldfish, and Snitch the canary. But when Amanda and her friends set out to bury a dead squirrel, they accidentally dig up a grave that’s already occupied - and not by a pet. The scary old lady who lives next door has lots of buried secrets. And she’ll do anything to keep them that way…. Deadtime Stories by “Twisted Sisters” Annette Cascone and Gina Cascone - they’ll scare you silly and give you more than goose bumps.

Lunch Lady has villains to fight at school and camp in this action-packed book. First, Dee, Terrence, and Hector come face-to-face with a very special guest on Author Visit Day - but there's something a little off about the world-famous writer. What evil designs does he have on his agenda? Then, the kids take a sigh of relief and are relaxing at summer camp. What evils could befall them there? Of course, there is the legendary swamp monster. Stories say he haunts the camp at night. But that's just a legend. Or is it?

Hector, Terrence, and Dee have always wondered about their school lunch lady. What does she do when she isn't dishing out the daily special? Where does she live? Does she have a lot of cats at home? Little do they know, Lunch Lady doesn't just serve sloppy joes—she serves justice! Whatever danger lies ahead, it's no match for Lunch Lady in these two exciting adventures packed into one audiobook!

Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Little Wee Bear go out for a morning walk, hoping by the time they get home their porridge will cool to the perfect temperature. But they don't realize a jump-roping, curly-haired terror named Goldilocks is on the way. Things are about to get messy before the Bear family has a chance to eat their porridge....

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

If Paddington Bear learned anything from his Uncle Pastuzo, it's that home is where you hang your hat. And for Paddington, nothing feels quite like home than being with the Brown family. Whether Paddington is starring in a surprise concert performance while eating a marmalade sandwich or thwarting a burglary attempt from Gentleman Dan, the Drainpipe Man, this one-of-a-kind bear keeps the Brown family home full of adventure and laughter.

This isn't just about me. It's also about the other people in my life—my mother, my father, my dead sister Sky, my penpal Denille, Rich Uncle Brian, Earth-Pig Fish and Douglas Benson From Another Dimension. These are people [with the exception of Earth-Pig Fish, who is a fish] who have shaped me, made me what I am. I cannot recount my life without recounting elements of theirs. This is a big task, but I am confident I am up to it.

Join in the fun with the clever little ladybird as she thwarts the cunning plans of two greedy thieves, Hefty Hugh and Lanky Len, time and time again. From a plot to steal the farmer's fine prize cow to a wicked plan to take the queen's crown jewels, it's up to the tiniest, quietest creature of all to save the day. Featuring a cast of much-loved farmyard and zoo animals, sea creatures and even a magical mermaid, these fantastic rhyming stories from the stellar picture-book partnership of Julia Donaldson and Lydia Monks are perfect for listening to together.

Not all heroes have superpowers. Don't believe us? Well, Murph Cooper is living proof. Since becoming Kid Normal, he and the Super Zeroes have been catching baddies all over the place. But being a hero is about to get a whole lot harder.... Far away in a top-secret prison, the world's most feared supervillain has broken a 30-year silence. His first words? 'Bring Kid Normal to me!'

The Enormous Crocodile is planning what to have for his lunch. He's the greediest croc in the whole river, and he wants to eat something juicy and delicious. But what can the greedy grumptious brute guzzle up? Beware! He's looking for someone to feast upon... someone who looks a lot like YOU!

Have you ever wondered how and why the animals came to be as they are? In these magical tales, drawn from stories he heard as a child in India as well as on folk traditions he later collected all over the world, Rudyard Kipling gives some wonderfully imaginative explanations.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odor.

Tom Gates is Ha! Ha! HILARIOUS! He's created a brand new comic Ants in Pants to make everyone (even Delia) laugh. Inspiration for his new comic is everywhere! There's Mr Keen's unicycle mishap and their NEW supply teacher Miss Jam (whose first name is NOT Strawberry or Traffic – but it should be). Class 5F LOVE Miss Jam's lessons. Mr Fullerman, not so much. BUT when Tom's comic falls into the wrong hands, everything starts to go wrong. HOW will he get himself out of this MESS? How will he make everyone laugh again? Will Marcus help him out? Hmmm ... maybe.