Showing results by publisher "----RM Alexander" in Humour

The latest hilarious audiobook in the ever-popular Tom Gates series! Working hard on my school project, I've found out ALL kinds of interesting facts I wasn't expecting to. Stuff like: Mum and Dad got together because of cake. (Full story inside). Cats sleep for 70% of their lives. Peppermint ice cream is just wrong. (True.).

When Mr Bambuckle arrives, laughs, thrills, silliness and imagination are guaranteed to follow! He’s the first teacher to cook us breakfast. Is his spark-maker beetle really that dangerous? I heard he drank yak’s milk in Mongolia. He’s the only person who isn’t afraid of Canteen Carol. My mum says he used to be in the circus. The class in room 12B has a new teacher, and nothing is ever going to be the same....

"Dear Your Majesty the Queen, I need to speak to you urgently about my brother Luke. He's got cancer and the doctors in Australia are being really slack...." If you want something done properly, Colin Mudford reckons, go straight to the top.

Timmy is in Key West, Florida, ostensibly for the honeymoon of his mother and Doorman Dave...if they even got married, which Timmy doubts. Unfortunately for Timmy, crime doesn't take a vacation. And because Total has fled to Cuba seeking political asylum, Timmy must rely on a new partner for help: Doorman Dave's nephew, Emilio. And as if things couldn't get more hectic, Timmy's pants have been stolen by a six-toed cat.

On their own, pranksters Miles and Niles were pretty devious. Now that they've formed a pranking duo, they're terrible! But their powers will be tested when their favorite nemesis, Principal Barkin, is replaced by his stern and cunning father, former Principal Barkin. Now Miles and Niles will do just about anything to get their old antagonist back - including pranking alongside him.

Will Noah and Violet finally defeat Daniel and his crew of rainbow griefers? Violet and Noah's village is celebrating the new amusement park opening in town. Everyone is enjoying the fun rides and tasty food. But when Noah spots a rainbow griefer in the village carrying blocks of TNT, the celebration suddenly stops. Before the townspeople can do anything about the dangerous interloper, the roller coaster explodes! The accident with the roller coaster is blamed on Noah and Violet's frequent enemy, Daniel.

This charming story is about a friendly but forgetful blue tang fish as she tries to reunite with her loved ones, and everyone learns a few things about the true meaning of family along the way.

In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet.... That's the old story everyone knows and loves (even if they don't really believe it). But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet, and two brothers, who set out on an adventure to end all adventures.

After a traumatic run-in with the fortune teller from a visiting funfair - thanks to an unfortunately timed sneeze - Riley finds himself cursed. Life as he knows it quickly becomes a catalogue of disasters - from wetting himself onstage during the school show, accidentally supergluing himself to his classmates and ruining the school football team’s sponsorship deal, to flooding his house and losing class four’s pet rabbit - Riley knows the bad luck is out to get him. Enter new kid: Brad Chicago. He’s super-cool, well-groomed and stylish, with an excellent stationery collection.

A laugh-out-loud collection of stories starring Tom Gates and his friends, family and foes! Featuring: 'A Delicious Chicken Pie', 'Getting Stuck in a Lift with Delia', 'A Teacher Swap at School', 'Some Tiny Ants in Tiny Pants' and 'The Adventures of Wafer Boy'.

The life of a postman is not easy - especially when the Birthday Card Bandits are out to get you.

Mr Hoppy really loves his neighbour Mrs Silver, and Mrs Silver really loves her tortoise, Alfie. Oh, if only Mr Hoppy could perform some great feat that would make him a hero in her eyes! Then one day an amazing idea rushes into his head. With the help of a magical spell, some cabbage leaves and one hundred and forty tortoises, can shy Mr Hoppy win Mrs Silver's heart?

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Since we first met Nikki Maxwell, she's been doing everything she can to keep everyone at school from learning the truth - that she's there on scholarship in exchange for her dad working as the school's exterminator. The last thing Nikki needs is having her friends and - worst case scenario - her crush, Brandon, associating her with the humongous roach on top of her dad's van!

In America, they say any kid might someday be elected President. Well, 13-year-old Justin Moon did get elected President. The only problem is that now he has to actually serve in the nation's highest office. Being the leader of the most powerful country in the world is not as much fun as it sounds. Sure, the White House is filled with great stuff like its own movie theater, bowling alley, and swimming pool.

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up, and down, a range of strange and distressing mountains.

Meet Mackenzie Blue, aka Zee. She has it all--smarts, talent, humor, and style. Is it enough to survive middle school? Countdown to a 7th Grade Meltdown: 1. Your BFF moves away. 2. Someone steals your diary and reveals your deepest secrets--to the entire class. 3. You have one chance to become a rock star and one chance to totally blow it. Guess what!? All three happened to me! School's a disaster already. Don't get me wrong--I love Brookdale Academy and I have a fabulous crew of friends. (At least, I think I do.) But, if I'm going to survive, I need all the help I can get!

Even when it’s time to put on our favorite shoes and leave the house, and even when that time turns into a tantrum where someone can’t stop screaming, or flopping on the floor, or throwing a shoe across the room, and someone is making their maddest face and everyone else is waiting . . . Even then, nothing can come between the loving bond of a mother and their child. Not even a shoe.

In the second book in Bella Swift's Sausage Dog series, Stanley the sausage dog is off on holiday to the seaside! But Stanley soon finds himself jealous of the cool surfer dogs at the beach. Can Stanley learn to surf and be the coolest dog around, or will he learn that the best dog to be . . . is himself!

When a school assembly is interrupted by an ALIEN INVASION, bookworm Finley Swinnerton finds himself catapulted into an unlikely quest to save the planet, humanity and even Derek the school Guinea Pig!