Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humour

Arnie was fascinated as he watched the customers stream into the bakery. One by one, doughnuts were chosen, placed in paper bags, and whisked away with their new owners. Some went by the dozen in giant boxes. "Good-bye!" Arnie yelled to each doughnut. "Have a good trip!" "This is so exciting!" Arnie beamed. "I wonder who will choose ME?"

Carly Beth thinks she's found the best Halloween mask ever. With yellow-green skin and long animal fangs, the mask terrifies the entire neighborhood. Before long, it has a surprising effect on Carly Beth, too. She tries to take it off... but it won't budge! Halloween is almost over, but fright night is just beginning. Now with all-new bonus materials!

Moishe “Mushy” Luftmensch, age 10 and a half, has a big problem: He’s a very good kid...in a very bad world (and we mean very, very bad! We’re talking “tangerine peanut butter and garlic milkshakes” bad!). When Mushy proves to be too good for his, well...own good...he’s summarily shipped off to a special camp for “good eggs” like him. It’s no surprise we end up at a particularly unique camp where kids like Mushy are turned from really good to really bad...just like they’re supposed to be.

Two pink flamingos. A whole family of plaster skunks. Joe Burton's dad loves those tacky lawn ornaments. But then he brings home two ugly lawn gnomes. And that's when the trouble starts. Late at night, when everyone's asleep, someone's creeping in the garden. Whispering nasty things. Smashing melons. Squashing tomatoes. No way two dumb, old lawn ornaments could be causing all the trouble. Is there?

I didn’t choose to be the final boss. I just wanted to give baby villagers rides. Read books. Be chill. But the rest of Minecraftia? Yeah, they’re not chill with dragons. Now I'm stuck in The End... a barren void where the only visitors show up to battle me for bragging rights. But maybe, just maybe, I’ve found a way out.

How much do you know about farts? Did you know it would take just nine farts from every person on earth to power an atomic bomb? That fish farts nearly triggered a war against Russia? That women's farts smell worse than men's? Pfwoort! It's all in this book. Did you know that inhaling farts is healthy, yet people fart after death? That you can get a job as a professional fart smeller? That farting is illegal in Africa but polite in South America? Heard any ancient Babylonian fart jokes lately? Blorrrk! It's all in this book.

What will Gameknight999 do when his own friend is infected with the evil Herobrine virus? With the destruction of the infected Ender Dragon, the monster kings were forced to retreat. Herobrine's poisonous XP has been captured in an obsidian box and sealed tightly. Gameknight999 and his friends know that the obsidian box will have to be destroyed to eliminate the evil virus once and for all. But how? And who will be brave enough to do it?

Soon to be an original movie on Disney+. The beloved 2014 Newbery Medal winner by former National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature Kate DiCamillo. Holy unanticipated occurrences! It begins, as the best superhero stories do, with a tragic accident that has unexpected consequences...

The second book in the Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place—the acclaimed and hilarious Victorian mystery series by Maryrose Wood, perfect for fans of Lemony Snicket and Trenton Lee Stewart—has a brand-new look. Thanks to their plucky governess, Miss Penelope Lumley, Alexander, Beowulf, and...

The beginning of the End! Dave and his friends explore a stronghold. Will they finally find an end portal? Disclaimer: Not an official Minecraft product. Not approved by or associated with Mojang.

A brand new edition of the long unavailable children’s story, written and illustrated by the author of The Hobbit and Letters from father Christmas, with newly scanned manuscript pages and redesigned text. Now available as an audio edition. Professor J.R.R. Tolkien invented and illustrated the...

Now that Ivy and Bean are friends, they do gymnastics club together, sit together in Ms. Aruba-Tate's second grade, and tell each other their darkest secrets. And when Ivy discovers a ghost in the school bathroom, it will take both girls' courage and imagination to make it go away. Another...

When a tiny fish shoots into view wearing a round blue topper (which happens to fit him perfectly), trouble could be following close behind.

The Krusty Krab is celebrating its eleventy-seventh anniversary, and Mr. Krabs is looking forward to selling lots of Krabby Patties. But just before the celebration is about to begin, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob accidentally lock themselves in the freezer! While they make their way through the maze of air shafts above the Krusty Krab, reminiscing about their favorite memories along the way, Plankton finally gets his hands on the Krabby Patty formula! Will they get out in time to save the formula and celebrate the eleventy-seventh anniversary?

When the world’s largest, most pungent flower goes missing right before its grand unveiling, 11-year-old Batthew Aromascent is on the case. After all, he’s desperate to see it. That majestic corpse flower has taken seven years to grow from a single seed sent back by his parents … right before they vanished on their final expedition.

Centuries old and thousands of miles from home. When Emily and Jess Volnik's family inherits a remote, crumbling Scottish castle, they also inherit the Boggart--an invisible, mischievous spirit who's been playing tricks on residents of Castle Keep for generations. Then the Boggart is trapped in...

Foxie is on a diet, and Jack has things on his mind. When Auntie Tidge takes delivery of boxes of sausages, Foxie is delighted, until Caterina Smith takes them all away. Foxie is determined that Jack must solve the case of the stolen sausages, but Jack, for once, isn't sure there even is a case. He and Foxie join Lord Red, Auntie Tidge, Sarge, Caterina Smith, Polly, and just about everyone else at the Doggeroo Dog and Sausage Day. There are sausages galore, and plenty of schemes and drooling dogs, but is there really a thief?

Tuck and Ginger are two cats who get on each other's nerves. But they need to pause the claws if they’re to escape from the high-rise apartment where they are trapped. And escape they must, for their kidnappers – Rodney and Janice Burringo – are warty wicked witches who want to use Tuck and Ginger’s body parts to build the best witches’ cat in the world: a black Purrari.

Realizing that he has become lost in a strange part of town, Skipper Matthews, a ravenous comic book collector who's favorite character is an evil super-villain, discovers a building just like the secret headquarters of his idol.

The Goonies meets Indiana Jones and James Patterson's Treasure Hunters in this funny, action-filled adventure series! Twelve-year-old Addison Cooke just wishes something exciting would happen to him. His aunt and uncle, both world-famous researchers, travel to the ends of the earth searching for...