Showing titles in Humour

Paddington - the beloved classic bear from Darkest Peru, now a major movie star - is back in this fantastically funny, brand-new novel from master storyteller Michael Bond! Paddington always finds himself in unusual situations, so it is no surprise when he has a run-in with the police, appears in a TV cookery show and gives one of his hard stares to a hypnotist!

Here's my excellent plan to make DogZombies the best band in the whole wide world! How hard can it be? (Very.) Right now I'm going to: 1. Write more songs (not about teachers). 2. Make a spectacular music video (easy). 3. Get some sleep (tricky when you're being kept awake by loud noises). 4. Annoy Delia (nothing to do with DogZombies but always fun).

When Silas Heap unseals a forgotten room in the palace, he releases the ghost of a queen who lived 500 years earlier. Queen Etheldredda is as awful in death as she was in life, and she's still up to no good. Her diabolical plan to give herself everlasting life requires Jenna's compliance, Septimus' disappearance, and the talents of her son, Marcellus Pye, a famous alchemist and physician.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is a smallish Viking with a longish name. Hiccup's father is chief of the Hairy Hooligan tribe which means Hiccup is the Hope and the Heir to the Hairy Hooligan throne - but most of the time Hiccup feels like a very ordinary boy, finding it hard to be a Hero. When Hiccup's father decides to host the Inter-Tribe BURY THE HATCHET Games, he fails to invite some rather important guests and ends up in MORTAL DANGER. Can Hiccup save his father's life and prevent a new Blood Feud breaking out? All he has to do is train an untrainable dragon.

This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world.

Herobrine, the artificially intelligent virus, was deleted. The computer it resided in was completely destroyed. Without their leader, the few survivors of its evil army were cast away into the shadows. It looked as if there would finally be peace and happiness throughout the servers of Minecraft.

"I'm only going to say this once more," said Dad, "so listen very carefully. We are not ever, under any circumstances, going to Australia." What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are misery guts? Move them to a tropical paradise, decides Keith. That'll cheer them up. It's a brilliant plan, if he can pull it off.

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

Grey has improved a ton with the help of his friends, and he's closing in on the top tier of players. But then his closest friend announces that he's been asked to join a new squad on the top tier and leaves them in hopes of making the top five with his new squad. Grey is devastated, and his team struggles. He falls back several ranks and begins to wonder if it's even possible to escape the game this season. Some players have been there for many seasons...some aren't even trying to leave because they like it so much. Maybe he should just accept it as his life.

Now that Septimus, Jenna, and Beetle are 14 years old, they have assumed larger roles in their Magykal world. Beetle is the Chief Hermetic Scribe of the Manuscriptorium and Jenna will soon be Queen, but Septimus is still battling the remnants of the Darke Domaine, which will remain until the power of the evil Two-Faced Ring is destroyed forever. To accomplish that, the ancient Alchemie Fyre must be relit - a task that sends Septimus to the very origins of Magyk and Physik.

Tomas has a secret - a big secret. He has his own tiny dragon, Flicker! A dragon which grew on a very special tree at the bottom of his granddad's garden. And not only that - his friends Ted, Kai and Kat have dragons, too, all grown on the same dragonfruit tree.... Having your own dragon is magical - but Tomas is also about to find out what living with a dragon is really like.

Is your school just a little too…NORMAL? Maybe you should go to Wayside School. You'll meet Bebe, the fastest draw in art class; John, who only reads upside down; and Sammy, the new kid—he's a real rat. Come on! Hurry up! If you're late for class, Mrs. Gorf will turn you into an app…Oops. Sorry about that. More than 6 million kids have laughed at the wacky stories of Wayside School.

The irresistible Paddington Bear, who was found in Paddington station, returns in this reissued novel, with a brand-new cover design. 'Even Paddington can't come to much harm in half an hour,' said Mrs Brown optimistically. But who else other than Paddington could hang Mr Curry's lawnmower from a treetop or set Father Christmas' beard on fire?

Myles and Beckett Fowl are twins, but the two boys are wildly different. Beckett is blonde, messy and sulks whenever he has to wear clothes. Myles is impeccably neat, has an IQ of 170 and 3-D prints a fresh suit every day - just like his older brother, Artemis Fowl. A week after their 11th birthday the twins are left in the care of house security system NANNI for a single night. In that time, they befriend a troll on the run from a nefarious nobleman and an interrogating nun, both of whom need the magical creature for their own gain....

Penguin presents Funny Bones: The Collection by Allan Ahlberg, read by Stephen Mangan. An audio collection of the perennially popular Funny Bones books by Allan Ahlberg. Featuring: Funnybones, The Pet Shop, The Black Cat, Bumps in the Night, Give the Dog a Bone, Dinosaur Dreams, Skeleton Crew and Mystery Tour.

Nikki’s juggling a lot this month. A reality TV crew is following Nikki and her friends as they record their hit song together, plus there are voice lessons, dance practice, and little sister Brianna’s latest wacky hijinks. Nikki’s sure she can handle everything, but will all the excitement cause new problems for Nikki and Brandon, now that cameras are everywhere Nikki goes?

Forget Thanksgiving. The biggest turkey of all is running around Ella Mentry School - Dr. Carbles, the president of the school board. He is grumpier than ever and wants to fire Mr. Klutz. Will A.J. and his friends be able to save their principals job?

The story, set in Rosas, the kingdom of wishes where wishes can literally come true, follows Asha—an optimist with a sharp wit who cares endlessly about her community. In a moment of desperation, Asha makes an impassioned plea to the stars, which is answered by a cosmic force, a little ball of boundless energy called Star. Together, they face the most formidable of foes to save her community and prove that when the will of one courageous human connects with the magic of the stars, wondrous things can happen.

If you're a cat and you've learnt Pigeonese . . . (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat's business.

The Ender Dragon, infected by the Herobrine virus, has escaped into the Overworld! Gameknight999 and his father, Monkeypants271, traveled all the way to The End and banished the evil virus Herobrine to the only place they knew nothing could survive: the Void. They thought they had finally destroyed the enemy...But through the Void, Herobrine's viral lines of code were able to spread all throughout The End, infecting the horrible Ender Dragon.