Showing results by publisher "Brilliance Audio" in Comedy & Humour

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings.

Loch is seeking revenge. It would help if she wasn’t in jail. The plan: To steal a priceless elven manuscript that once belonged to her family, but is now in the hands of the most powerful man in the Republic. To do so, Loch - former soldier, former prisoner, and current fugitive - must assemble a crack team of magical misfits that includes a cynical illusionist, a shape shifting unicorn, a repentant death priestess, a talking magical war hammer, and a lad with seemingly no skills.

When Marilyn Kleinman is caught making out with the rabbi’s son in front of the whole congregation, her parents ship her off to her great-aunt Ada for the summer. If anyone can save their daughter’s reputation, it’s Philadelphia’s strict premier matchmaker. Either that or Marilyn can kiss college goodbye. To Marilyn’s surprise, Ada’s not the humorless septuagenarian her mother described. Not with that platinum-blonde hair, Hermès scarf, and Cadillac convertible. She’s sharp, straight-talking, takes her job very seriously, and abides by her own rules…mostly.

The year is 2108, and the North American Commonwealth is bursting at the seams. For welfare rats like Andrew Grayson, there are only two ways out of the crime-ridden and filthy welfare tenements: You can hope to win the lottery and draw a ticket on a colony ship settling off-world...or you can join the service. With the colony lottery a pipe dream, Andrew chooses to enlist in the armed forces for a shot at real food, a retirement bonus, and maybe a ticket off Earth.

Reformed art forger Tilda Goodnight reluctantly joins forces with semi-reformed con man Davy Dempsey. They want to steal a dubious painting and several million embezzled dollars from a lethal widow named Clea, who has targeted a mild-mannered art collector as her next dearly departed. Complications include her sister, the female impersonator; his best friend, the reformed cat burglar; a recidivist embezzler named Rabbit; a hit man; some lousy sex; and a juke box.

Failed lawyer Robert Green has such a good plan: Crack three hundred safe-deposit boxes and sail off to South America with his brilliant, morally flexible sister, Penny. If it weren’t for the damned freezing rain. In the dying resort town of Granite Shores, cop Jack Biddle is self-appointed king—mostly of bad decisions. Between his family’s crumbling legacy, a wife who just joined the city council, and life-threatening gambling debts, Jack’s looking for a way out. Then he spots a van spinning off a mountain road into the valley below.

Meet Charlie King. He’s doing great! Honestly. A fantastic job, two solid best mates and a girlfriend who might just be The One. Life is good. Perfect, even. So why is he waking up in a cold sweat? Why does his heart keep trying to punch its way out of his chest? Charlie should probably see a doctor. That’s what everyone keeps telling him. But it’s not that bad. He just needs a decent night’s sleep. Other than that, he’s Totally Fine. Except for that car crash a few months ago—the one he barely remembers. The one he hasn’t thought about at all.

Ever since Martin Banks and his fellow computer geeks discovered that reality is just a computer program to be happily hacked, they've been jaunting back and forth through time, posing as medieval wizards and having the epic adventures that other nerds can only dream of having. But even in their wildest fantasies, they never expected to end up at the mercy of the former apprentice whom they sent to prison for gross misuse of magic and all-around evil behavior.

When Catherine Moran’s long-lost brother bequeaths her a boat in Key West, she’s not sure what hurts more: his death or the decades they’ve been estranged. The fifty-seven-year-old thinks this could be the answer to her financial strain since putting their mother in a memory care facility, but when she arrives on the island, her bonanza is a bust. The boat is a dilapidated trawler supposedly once owned by Ernest Hemingway, and a handsome buddy of her brother is living onboard but refuses to jump ship.

One misdirection, and effervescent vacation-home reviewer Sage Featherstone comes bounding up to the door of the wrong cabin. Lucky her. The owner is Travis Blacksburg, a broody, out-of-this-world-sexy tech billionaire. A quick look at that GQ body, and Sage’s fantasies are running wild. So are Travis’s. With Sage’s spirited personality, mop of pink hair, and lack of boundaries, Travis can’t wait to kill her. Because that’s what he does. Thirty-eight victims so far. And his latest target just walked into his life, looking absolutely irresistible.

Landon Brinkley’s dreams are all coming true. She’s landed an internship with a fabulous event planner for the Hollywood elite, taking her from small-town Texas to the bright lights of LA. Landon finds herself in a world in which spending a million dollars on an event—even a child’s birthday party—is de rigueur, and the whims of celebrity clients are life-and-death matters.

It's 1939, in New York City. Joe Kavalier, a young artist who has also been trained in the art of Houdiniesque escape, has just pulled off his greatest feat: smuggling himself out of Hitler's Prague. He's looking to make big money, fast, so that he can bring his family to freedom. His cousin, Brooklyn's own Sammy Clay, is looking for a partner in creating the heroes, stories, and art for the latest novelty to hit the American dreamscape: the comic book. Inspired by their own fantasies, fears, and dreams, they create the Escapist.

Fiery, free-loving Amber Fields has just discovered she's the daughter of a 90s rock legend. Amber is determined to know more and heads to the bright lights of New York City, a world away from the hippie commune she’s grown up on in Maine. She tracks down the band but answers seem hard to come by. And then there’s the new lead guitarist - troubled, sexy, intriguing Ty who is anything but welcoming.

On the surface, Denny Voss’s life in rural Minnesota is a quiet one. At thirty years old, he lives at home with his elderly mother and his beloved blind and deaf Saint Bernard, George. He cleans up roadkill to help pay the bills. Though his prospects are limited by a developmental delay—the result of an accident at birth—Denny has always felt that he has “a good life.” So how did he wind up being charged with the murder of a mayoral candidate—after crashing a sled full of guns into a tree?

After a career-ending accident, former NFL recruit Ian Hunter is back on campus - and he's ready to get his new game on. As one of the masterminds behind Wingmen, Inc., a successful and secretive word-of-mouth dating service, he's putting his extensive skills with women to work for the lovelorn. But when Blake Olson requests the services of Wingmen, Inc., Ian may have landed his most hopeless client yet.

Pro footballer Miller Quinton would do anything for his best friend and teammate - including "fake dating" his friend's sister. What no one knows is that seven months ago in Vegas, Miller and Kinsey did a whole lot more than just kiss. Miller knows that this cheerleader is off-limits to him and any guy on the team. Still, he can't stop himself.

Austin Rogers's dreams of domestic bliss involved watching Netflix and eating hot dogs with the love of her life. But then he cheated on her. And dumped her - as if the whole thing was her fault. To maintain her pride and restore her sanity, she decides to get revenge. It feels immensely satisfying to plot her ex's downfall - but so does kissing him.

Jenny's single-parent life revolves around her kids and her job, which means that hours of Animal Planet and strings of computer code are about all she has time for. Not that Jenny's looking for adventure or romance - she's the type of woman who believes in playing it safe. When Jenny is called upon to do some consulting for the Bourbon Street Boys - a New Orleans private security firm - she knows she should stay away.

Carter Billings: With sandy blond hair and Hollywood good looks, Carter could have any woman he wants. When he makes his bid for governor of California, he knows he must settle down and become a family man. His choice for a running mate between the sheets: matchmaker Eliza Havens. Eliza Havens: Eliza’s happy that her best friend has a wealthy, adoring husband. It’s the husband’s best friend - sexy, dashing Carter Billings - that drives her crazy. No man has ever squabbled with Eliza this much…or made her heart race this fast.

When a mysterious text message summons May Wexler to a biker bar in downtown New Orleans, she knows something is very wrong. Her sister has sent out an SOS, but when May gets there, she's nowhere to be found and May is the one in trouble - she's wearing pink espadrilles, she's got a Chihuahua in her purse, and she's in the middle of a shootout.