Showing results by publisher "Audible Studios" in Comedy & Humour

New York City is on high alert: a gasoline truck is stuck in the Midtown tunnel and the driver has fled. Through panic and gridlock, Alex and Ruth must transport their beloved old dachshund, whose back legs are suddenly paralyzed, to the animal hospital, using a cutting board as a stretcher. But this is also the weekend when Alex and Ruth must sell the apartment in which they have lived for most of their adult lives.

The pot thief discovers that archaeology is not nearly as cutthroat as the restaurant business A treasure hunter, pottery dealer, and occasional manufacturer of imitation American Indian artifacts, Albuquerque’s Hubie Schuze knows quite a bit about throwing clay. But ancient Native American pottery is not really intended for dining, so he is puzzled when a restaurateur comes to him asking for dinner plates. The job sounds boring, but the fee does not: $25,000 for 100 plates for a new Austrian restaurant in Santa Fe.

It takes a starship to raise a child. Or a time machine. Or a tribe of elves. Fortunately, Geek Parenting offers all that and more, with thoughtful mini essays that reveal profound child-rearing advice (and mistakes) from the most beloved tales of geek culture. Nerds and norms alike can take counsel from some of the most iconic parent-child pairings found in pop culture: Aunt May and Peter Parker, Benjamin and Jake Sisko, Elrond and Arwen, even Cersei and Joffrey.

Timothy Schaffert has created his most memorable character yet in Essie, an octogenarian obituary writer for her family’s small town newspaper. When a young country girl is reported to be missing, perhaps whisked away by an itinerant aerial photographer, Essie stumbles onto the story of her life. Or, it all could be simply a hoax, or a delusion, the child and child-thief invented from the desperate imagination of a lonely, lovelorn woman.

"If there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s that logic is the sworn enemy of grief," writes Halimah Marcus, co-editor of Electric Literature, in her introduction to “Firewood," a hilarious and devastating story by J. Robert Lennon. "When the narrator’s wife (expectedly) leaves him, too devastated to admit the obvious, he concocts an impossible explanation for her disappearance. All I’ll say is that it involves the woodpile. The invented story is more horrible than the truth, but somehow easier to manage."

In a famous but declining Hollywood bar works A Barman. Morbidly amused by the decadent decay of his surroundings, he watches the patrons fall into their nightly oblivion, making notes for his novel. In the hope of uncovering their secrets and motives, he establishes tentative friendships with the cast of variously pathological regulars.

Samaritans Medical Center, Washington, DC, can't seem to look after itself and its increasingly desperate doctors, let alone its patients. The chairman of the board, billionaire arms dealer and part-time philanthropist David Soper, decides that it's time to kill or cure. Business school alumnus and Las Vegas hotel genius Max Green is the perfect man for the job. A man of vision. A man with a mission. A man who knows that wealth care is smarter than health care. He's going to make Samaritans great again.

Pepper Ryan grew up the troublesome, spoiled child of a rock god. With her less-than-stellar parentage and the bipolar disorder that has plagued her existence, to say this little firecracker is a handful would be the understatement of the century. Sammy Belle spent more than half his life saving Pepper. He'd been her strength, her sanity, and the protective brotherly figure she never wanted to have. They were never meant to be together. They gave in anyway.

Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the men in the White House - complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts.

When the voice of authority calls, Tony Hawkin assumes there is a glitch. After all, why would the nation possibly require the services of a man who runs the gift shop in the FBI building? But there's no mistake, and soon Tony finds himself in the middle of Mexico, pursued by a ruthless killer, and hot on the trail of a priceless work of art. He has to find the painting, determine its authenticity, and return it safely to Washington. There's only one problem: everybody wants this particular painting.

After spending months buried up to my eyeballs in my family's affairs, I'm ready for a break. The kind of break where I can spend two solid weeks camping and fishing in the company of absolutely no one. Then I find myself directly in the path of a drop-dead gorgeous tornado by the name of Becca Stone. Who can resist a night with a damsel in distress? Especially when she happens to be a leggy blonde? The last thing I expect is for Becca to show up on my cabin doorstep the next night, shivering in the rain and ready for seconds.

Sawyer Beckett is at it again! That baby, whose Mama gave him all that drama? Well, she's all grown up and ready to date! And Sawyer is not happy about it. So he's written another guide, full of "helpful advice", for all the horny lil' punks that think they stand a chance of getting near his angel Presley.

Danny: The portrait of a surreal killer. Each one of us has an invisible space alien perched upon our shoulders controlling our thoughts. This is not a good thing! Danny used to be a sad and lonely man, but now he is happy. Because now Danny has a dog of his very own. A nice big dog with a waggy tail and a smiley face. The dog’s name is Demolition but only Danny can see him. Men from The Ministry of Serendipity are monitoring Danny’s every move.

It’s Davis Way’s first slot-tournament season. And it may be her last. Things are dicey at work. A personal assistant goes missing, a little old lady goes on a suspicious winning streak, and a Bellissimo executive goes gaga for Davis. She follows a disappearing slot-tournament player trail to the So Help Me God Pentecostal Church in Beehive, Alabama, then jumps headlong into a high stakes holy scandal. She’s on a losing streak at home, too. Her days, nights, and dinners run together, as Davis juggles a revolving door of uninvited guests, namely her rotten ex-ex-husband, Eddie Crawford.

Caroline Townsend is a nightmare for her children. The former actress and current alcoholic hits her nadir on Christmas Eve. Her five young children hope for a Christmas celebration. Instead, they get a fight with their mother, who's absolutely plastered and fresh off yet another failed relationship. After lashing out at her children, Caroline passes out under the bent and mangled Christmas tree. For the Townsend children, this proves to be a rare opportunity - a chance to set things right with their mother. Together, they concoct an elaborate ruse designed to teach her a lesson, once and for all.

What if a reality TV show like Jersey Shore set up production in the fictional seaside resort Sea Haven? What if hitting the gym, tanning, and doing a little laundry aren't the only things the contestants get into? By-the-book officer John Ceepak and his wisecracking young partner, Danny Boyle, have to babysit the buff and boozy kids partying it up in a Jersey shore rental house for TV’s summertime hit Fun House while simultaneously trying to stop the rowdy kids from breaking the law up and down the beach. But even Ceepak and Danny can’t stop one young cast member from being murdered—and others from being threatened with the same fate.

Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though.

Until a few weeks ago, Leanne was a 30-something who lived with her mother. And yes, she still slept under her Barbie bedspread. Until recently, best friend Maddy was married to a man whose golf club got more action than she did. But not anymore. Leanne convinced Maddy enough was enough. They packed their bags and their miniature poodle and bid goodbye to their dreary lives for the summer. Drinking wine under the stars and splashing around in the sparkling turquoise waters of Italy and the Dalmatian Islands should be every girl’s dream. Except...it’s not all plain sailing.

The New York Times Book Review called Neal Stephenson's most recent novel "electrifying" and "hilarious". But if you want to know Stephenson was doing 20 years before he wrote the epic Cryptonomicon, it's back-to-school time. Back to The Big U, that is, a hilarious send-up of American college life starring 30-year-old junior Casimir Radon.

Saguaro chronicles the life of rock legend Bobby Bird as he finds himself rolled up in barbiturates, at sea with satanic cults, finding true love, selling out, and coming back. Bird may be many things - a legend in pink cotton, a living history in tattoos, the very embodiment of rock and roll - but he isn’t a bad man. At least not all the time. He made his name as a crooner, revered as a singer with soul, a soul he quickly sold without ever considering the implications.