The Cannon Crüe returns for the playoffs as Granit, Ryan, and Patrick dissect Charleston Battery’s first-round clash with Rhode Island FC. The Crüe moves from laughter about NC roadwork to deep football talk—covering youth development, academies, coaching philosophies, and why Charleston needs to bring a trophy home. There’s tactical debate on the backline, keeper woes, and Juan David’s mysterious disappearance. The guys round it out with match predictions ranging from doom (Ryan) to domination (Granit).

ain couldn’t stop the Battery—only supercharged them. In this episode, Granit and Ryan break down the 5-0 demolition of Colorado Springs Switchbacks, from Aaron Malloy’s bank-shot free-kick masterclass to VGO’s first professional goal. The Crüe relives the soaked-to-the-bone madness, celebrates Nate De Santos’ redemption arc, and debates the great U.S. playoff conundrum—should the best team really have to win twice?

The guys also talk PK strategy, back-line chemistry, golden-boot drama between Cal & MD, and how one orange-clad Sasquatch keeper may never live down a night in Charleston.

Wrap up your ponchos and your pint glasses—the Battery are storming toward the playoffs, and the Crüe are ready to shout it from the Regiment’s chili-dog-scented parking lot.

• The three goals breakdown (Jennings header, MD’s volley, Rubio’s finish).
• The playful chaos about parking passes and tailgates and Queen Bees (Yellow Lot supremacy vs. Blue Lot madness).
• Shoutouts to Battery’s fan culture on Hispanic Heritage Night.
• The spicy keeper debate (Luis vs. Christian—who should get the gloves for playoffs?).

Show Notes

The Crüe is back with tales from Hispanic Heritage Night, parking lot politics, and a match that had it all: frustration, brilliance, and three bangers in the net.

We start with sideline stories—refereeing chaos in youth games, wedding trips with babies in tow, and the eternal Yellow Lot vs. Blue Lot debate. Then it’s into the heavy stuff: keeper concerns, defensive lapses, and whether culture in the locker room matches the culture in the stands.

But at the heart of it all, we celebrate what makes the beautiful game beautiful: that it’s for everyone. Hispanic Heritage Night was a reminder of how important it is to honor and embrace cultures that come together around the pitch. Soccer transcends politics and differences—it thrives when we celebrate who we are, together.

And yes, we also revel in the fireworks: Jennings’ meaty forehead, MD’s thunderstrike, and Rubio’s late dagger had Patriots Point rocking. With playoffs looming, the Crüe debates what matters most: form, fan culture, or just putting Christian back between the sticks.

Charleston Battery secured their playoff spot with a 2–1 win over Indy Eleven, fueled by a Cal Jennings brace in front of a sold-out Patriots Point crowd. In this episode, Granit, Patrick, and Ryan break down the highs, lows, and “WTF” moments of the match — from clinical penalties to shaky keeping and referee chaos. The crew also debates playoff readiness, supporter culture at Patriots Point, and preview the upcoming clash with Oakland Roots.

Highlights:

Cal Jennings scores a penalty and capitalizes on a defensive error.

MD Myers earns the PK through sheer grit in the box.

91% team passing accuracy — but still room to sharpen the attack.

Concerns over Zamudio’s consistency in net.

Referees swallow whistles on repeated fouls, forcing early subs.

Granit and Pirmann agree: I'd rather play like crap and win.

Supporter Talk:

South Stand atmosphere debate — should benches be swapped?

Call for a true “Yellow Wall” revival behind the goal for playoffs.

Selfie sticks banned, but apparently beer-passing not policed.

Quotes from the Pitch:

Cal Jennings: “MD did a fantastic job drawing the penalty… happy the work paid off.”

Coach Pirmann: “Flat out disappointing. Only 2 or 3 guys played a complete performance tonight.”

Looking Ahead:

Oakland Roots visit Patriots Point next.

Predictions: Ryan (3–1 Battery), Patrick (2–2 Draw), Granit (2–0 Battery, El Pulpo clean sheet).

Charleston Battery, Indy Eleven, Cal Jennings, MD Myers, USL Championship, Patriots Point, Oakland Roots, Cannon Crüe Podcast, playoffs clinched, soccer supporters Charleston.

This week on Cannon Crüe, Granit and Patrick break down Charleston Battery’s road win in Pittsburgh—our first since 2018. We cover:

• Waves, storms, and the unfortunate postponement of Surfers Healing 🌊
• The rotation puzzle: who sat, who stepped up, and what it means for the playoff push
• Joey’s drop, Arturo’s redemption, and why Aaron Malloy might be the drywall holding up our entire soccer house 🏠
• Referees who couldn’t spot an offside (not “offsides”!) if it bit them
• The glorious forehead of Rubio Rubin
• Patrick beams in from a shaky Wi-Fi connection in a faraway land, which adds to the chaos and the comedy. But despite the tech hiccups, we pull together a proper post-mortem of the match, and even manage to make a few decent coaching points that Ben probably stole from us.

Stick around after the outro music for a little “behind-the-pod” moment: Patrick and I trying—and failing—to figure out a tech issue mid-recording. It’s clunky, it’s awkward, and it’s undeniable proof that while we may know our soccer, we are absolute amateurs when it comes to, well… everything else.

The lads whining a lot.

This week, Granite, Ryan, and Patrick are joined by Charleston Battery’s own Tanner Clay—the face, feet, and force behind the business side of the Club. From revenue strategies and TV rights to pro/rel dreams and food truck diplomacy, Tanner gives a candid look at what it takes to keep a USL Championship team thriving.

Show Notes

Guest: Tanner Clay, Senior Business Dude (not his actual title, but it should be) at Charleston Battery

Topics Covered:

Tanner's journey from College of Charleston player to club executive

The revenue puzzle: tickets, sponsorships, TV deals, and merch

How the Battery hustles with a lean front office team

Promotion & relegation: Could it change everything?

TV rights, goals of the week, and the power of national exposure

Retention of players, coaches, and staff in the USL

Why your neighborhood food truck matters on match day

How fans are the best (and most underrated) marketing team

Key Quote:

“The smaller the club, the more important it is to be invested in the community… and when fans don’t feel heard, we all know what can happen.”

Call to Action

If you love the Battery, tell a friend. Be the guy (or gal) who takes someone to their first match. Word of mouth is powerful—just ask Tanner.

The Charleston Battery just served up a double-dose of dominance, and the Cannon Crüe is on one.

Granit, Ryan, and Patrick open with Charleston’s biggest moment of the season: a third-straight win over the Tampa Bay Rowdies, ending their Jaegermeister Cup hopes, keeping the No Quarter Derby Trophy firmly in Charleston, and crushing their Jaegermeister Cup dreams and sending them straight to Davy Jones' Locker. There’s controversy, there’s violence (looking at you, Christian Garner backheel foul), and there’s plenty of spice — including some pointed referee critiques and theories about dark arts at play.

Then it’s on to the Miami match, where the Battery kept their momentum rolling with a solid home win, controlling the game from midfield and continuing to climb the table.

From on-field brilliance to referee blunders, from Christian Garner getting kicked to the No Quarter Derby Trophy staying in Charleston, this episode fires on all cylinders — with a heavy dose of pirate trash talk and well-earned rivalry gloating.