Episode Description

Last week's episode sparked a lot of conversation online. I posted a clip about eating disorder recovery in the ozempic era and the comments absolutely exploded — and it got me thinking about something I've been wanting to talk about for a while.

The thoughts I had in my eating disorder that I'm not proud of. The ones that would probably get me canceled if I posted them without context. The ones that felt so real at the time and are so clearly the disorder talking when I look back now.

In this episode I'm unpacking each of those thoughts, where they actually came from, and what they say about the disorder — not about who I am or who you are. If you've had thoughts in your eating disorder that have made you feel like a bad person, this episode is directly for you.

In This Episode:

• Why I posted about my ugliest ED thoughts on Instagram — and why the response floored me
• The core reframe: eating disorders are not personality traits
• How eating disorders distort your value system to make harmful behaviors feel moral and right
• Each of the ugly thoughts I had — unpacked honestly and without shame
• Feeling superior when eating less than others at the table — and what was really going on
• Feeling threatened when someone else's body changed — and the identity piece underneath it
• Believing hunger meant I was doing something right — and what that was really about
• Believing my body said something about my character — and the identity crisis driving it
• Thinking my therapist and dietician were jealous of me — and why the eating disorder needs you to believe that
• Not wanting a normal body — and why "just eat normally" was never going to land
• Thinking enjoying food made me weak — and the fear underneath it
• The darkest thought — and why it was depression talking, not who I was
• Why your eating disorder thoughts are not your identity — and what they actually are

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro 1:00 What happened when I posted about the ozempic episode — and what it inspired 4:00 The core frame: eating disorders are not personality traits 6:00 How eating disorders distort your value system 8:00 Ugly thought #1: feeling superior when eating less than others 13:00 What self-control actually is — and what the eating disorder gets wrong about it 14:00 Ugly thought #2: feeling threatened when someone else's body changed 17:00 The identity and scarcity piece underneath that thought 18:00 Ugly thought #3: believing hunger meant I was doing something right 21:00 Interoception — and how the eating disorder distorts your body's cues 22:00 Ugly thought #4: believing my body said something about my character 26:00 Not knowing who I was — and trying to manufacture identity through my body 28:00 Ugly thought #5: thinking my therapist and dietician were jealous of me 30:00 Why the eating disorder needs you to believe everyone trying to help has an ulterior motive 32:00 Ugly thought #6: not wanting a normal body 35:00 Why "just eat normally" was never going to be comforting 37:00 Ugly thought #7: thinking enjoying food made me weak 40:00 Ugly thought #8: believing body change would be worse than not existing 43:00 Why that thought is depression — not character 45:00 You are not your eating disorder thoughts 47:00 Closing thoughts

Quotes from This Episode:

"The thing about self-control is you

Resources + Connect with Me:

• Instagram: @recoverwithchloe
• Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!
• Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
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One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from my own lived experience, from people who have spent years wondering — is this: why me? Why did I get an eating disorder when the people around me didn't?

In this episode I'm getting into the real answer. Not the oversimplified version. The actual, nuanced, deeply personal answer — using my own story, my clinical experience, and the framework I use with clients in my group program The Quasi-Recovery Exit to help people understand themselves in a way that actually moves the needle in recovery.

This one is a thinker. I hope it gives you some real clarity.

This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy Earth

Cozy Earth makes the softest, most comfortable pajamas and bedding I’ve foung — and comfort in my body is something I don't compromise on anymore. Visit CozyEarth.com and use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off.

In This Episode:

• Why I grew up with two sisters, in the same family, doing the same activities — and I'm the only one who got an eating disorder
• The genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger framework — and what it actually means for understanding your own story
• The specific temperament traits I was born with that made me vulnerable to an eating disorder
• How my performing arts high school became the environmental trigger that intensified those traits
• Why understanding what caused your eating disorder is actually one of the most powerful things you can do in recovery
• The identity conversation — how the traits your eating disorder co-opted are actually your greatest strengths
• Why you won't lose yourself when you recover — you'll finally find yourself
• How narrative therapy helps you make meaning of your story without shame
• What to do with the traits you don't want to give up in recovery
• A reframe for the question "what's wrong with me?" — and what to ask instead

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro + new desk setup 2:00 Life update — pregnancy announcement followup, son's hospital stay, Disneyland plans 4:00 A note on binge urges and what they're actually telling you 6:00 Today's topic: what actually causes an eating disorder? 7:00 Growing up with two sisters — same family, same upbringing, only I got an eating disorder 10:00 Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger 12:00 The temperament traits I was born with — drive, perfectionism, sensory sensitivity 16:00 Early signs of genetic predisposition — body awareness from a very young age 18:00 How performing arts high school became the environmental trigger 22:00 Competition, comparison, and the perfect storm that created my eating disorder 24:00 How to understand your own story through this lens 26:00 The identity conversation — temperament vs conditioning 28:00 Your eating disorder traits are actually your superpowers 30:00 Narrative therapy and making meaning of your story 32:00 What to ask yourself instead of "what's wrong with me?" 35:00 How to channel your traits toward recovery and growth 37:00 Closing thoughts

Practical Reflection Questions From This Episode:

• What traits do I have that might have made me vulnerable to an eating disorder?
• What life circumstances intensified those traits or made the eating disorder necessary?
• What do I actually like about those traits — and do I want to keep them in recovery?

Resources + Connect with Me:

• Instagram: @recoverwithchloe
• Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!
• Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
• Subscribe on YouTube!

Episode Description

First things first — I have some news. Big news. News that explains a lot of the cryptic, tired, off-kilter energy you've been picking up on these last few weeks.

I'm pregnant. Baby number two is on the way and she is a girl.

But after that announcement, we're getting into something I've been genuinely fired up about — because right now, in 2026, I believe this is one of the hardest moments in recent history to be in eating disorder recovery. The cultural noise around weight loss is louder than I have ever heard it. And I wanted to talk honestly about what that's like, what it stirs up, and how to actually stay the course when it feels like the whole world is doing the opposite.

In This Episode:

• The big announcement — baby number two, and what being pregnant with a girl brings up for me as someone in ED recovery
• Why I believe right now is one of the hardest moments in history to be actively recovering from an eating disorder
• The cultural conversation around weight loss in 2026 — and why it feels so different from anything we've seen before
• The comparison to the nineties and early two thousands thin ideal — and why this moment feels even harder
• A client story about recovering while her parents were actively dieting — and what that taught me about staying the course when everyone around you is going a different direction
• Why choosing to eat adequately right now is genuinely a countercultural act
• The psychology behind why people without eating disorders get pulled into these cycles — and why understanding that actually helps
• Why GLP-1s and weight loss medications are a different conversation for people with eating disorder histories
• How to use a little healthy rebellion to protect your recovery
• Practical strategies for navigating social media, diet culture talk, and the cultural moment we're in

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro 1:00 Reflecting on last week's body image episode 2:00 The big announcement — I'm pregnant 5:00 Having a girl — and what that brings up around passing on an eating disorder 7:00 Why right now is one of the hardest times in history to be in ED recovery 9:00 The cultural noise around weight loss in 2026 10:30 Comparing this moment to the nineties thin ideal 12:00 How we got here — and why it feels different this time 13:30 Choosing to eat adequately as a countercultural act 15:00 A client story: recovering while her parents were actively dieting 20:00 Putting yourself in the driver's seat of your own values 22:00 The psychology of why people without EDs fall into these cycles 24:00 Why GLP-1s are a different conversation for people in recovery 27:00 It's okay to feel frustrated that other people seem to have an easy solution 29:00 Practical strategies: resetting your algorithm, limiting social media 32:00 Clarifying your values around why nourishment matters to you 33:30 The internal scoff — giving yourself permission to know better 34:30 Finding your people and filling your feed with counterculture 35:30 Telling yourself you can wait it out 37:00 Closing thoughts — eat your food. you know better.

Practical Strategies Mentioned:

• Limit or take breaks from social media — especially during high-exposure seasons like spring and summer
• Reset your algorithm intentionally — spend time actively liking content that feels safe and muting or reporting what does

Resources + Connect with Me:

• Instagram: @recoverwithchloe
• Recovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!
• Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
• Subscribe on YouTube!