In this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a rare and honest look at emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and liberation through understanding one’s desires.

Listeners will learn how therapists can create affirming spaces for clients exploring kink, why shame and secrecy often intertwine with sexual identity, and how healing begins when we integrate these parts of ourselves.

Connect with John Gillespie:

Website: Link Here

John's Book (Amazon): Link Here

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how queer identity and authenticity intersect, the pressures of dating and relationships, and what therapy can offer in navigating meaning and purpose.

Whether you are curious about existential philosophy, reflecting on your love life, or searching for more authenticity, this episode offers both practical takeaways and profound reflection. I would ask yourself, "What do I want things to mean?"

Connect with Tyler Mafi:

Tyler's Website: Link Here

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception.

Dustin and Sam emphasize the importance of self-compassion, breaking cycles of comparison, and building a more affirming perspective around body image.

Whether you’ve struggled with body dissatisfaction, questioned how rejection impacts your self-worth, or want to better understand the unique challenges queer men face, this episode offers research-based insights and practical discussion.

Connect with Sam Fogarty, LMHC

Therapy Practice: Link Here

PsychologyToday: Link Here

Sam's Research: Link Here

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Guide & Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Connection

04:01 Body Image in the Gay Community

06:07 Research on Body Ideals

07:52 Understanding Eating Disorders

11:09 Muscularity-Oriented Disordered Eating

15:03 Emotional Needs and Eating Disorders

17:55 Personal Experiences with Body Image

21:17 Fat Phobia and Its Impact

23:48 Reactions to Weight Loss and Acceptance

27:55 Internalized Fat Phobia

31:03 Challenging Body Image Norms

33:23 Exploring Values and Self-Perception

36:32 The Impact of Rejection on Queer Identity

39:29 Intuitive Eating and Movement

40:34 Attraction and Body Image in Queer Relationships

48:26 Healthy Relationships with Body and Self

48:55 Final Thoughts and Memorable Quotes

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver