The couch comes home to the US as the unbeaten Eagles host the Red Roses for week seven of the WXV global series. The shows kicks off and we come out of the gate with a Mailbag right from Jolly ol England telling us we're chatting tripe. Fair. We think.

Jones claims England Captain Meg Jones as a half sister and earns a doctorate in bullshit while Tocco cheers for Brittania, goes to war for Rocky and becomes the next short round. Hope rogers wins a handfight and teaches us all about how to really win the dark arts of the scrum, a maul goes over the try line so pretty you need a cigarette after and Tocco let's us know why it's not really woman's rugby. It's just rugby. And thats fucking awesome.

It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Cold beer in hand, confidently incorrect and always here. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Follow us on IG @WrongSideoftheRuck

Pull up a bit of the couch: it's the East Midlands Derby at Welford Road, Leicester vs. Northampton, it's pissing rain, and Henry Pollock is starting (and not starting) some shit in the tunnel. Jones is pretty sure he learned it from Tocco.Jonesy breaks down why a tight head in the better position keeps getting penalized, swears scrums were safer when they were worse, and opens Scrum School to teach the dark art of Scrumaganda. Tocco sips Malört on purpose, Jones compares it to licking black tar heroin, and we finally find out how Cowboy got his name (Rochester PD, a cowboy hat, boots and nothing else). There's a man in a flat cap, a 320 lb mullet straight out of Molly Hatchet, a fight over whether it's autumn, and somewhere in there we decide the show needs to be unlearnable.Confidently incorrect, cold beer in hand and good people to argue with. It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.Follow us on IG @WrongSideoftheRuck

Pull up a bit of the couch: it’s Champions Cup round one at Loftus, we can’t find Stade’s American prop Jack Iscaro, and Tocco thinks we’re broadcasting from Peoria, Illinois.

Jonesy comes in hot when a pencil-thin scrum half starts telling grown front rowers how to hold their body weight and goes on a rant 20 years of playing in the making, a hooker bleeds from his ear for most of the match, and Marco van Staden takes the scrum places no scrum should have to go. There’s a man held together by tape and dreams, a history lesson on the French and the Germans, the Metzstein Files are back, and someone ends up “hand job adjacent.”

Confidently incorrect, half-cocked, and with a cold Negroni in hand. It’s rugby the way you’ve always loved it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you’ll like it here.

Follow us on IG @WrongSideoftheRuck and email us at wrongsideoftheruck@gmail.com

0:00 Cold open: tape and dreams3:30 Live from Peoria9:21 Kickoff14:32 The first scrum18:56 Pollard's 50/2228:35 Pronunciation court34:47 Commercial: the East Side Hyenas38:31 Pencil-thin scrum halves45:33 Too aggressive in the scrum53:58 Are the French Germanic?58:42 The Metzstein Files1:01:51 Halftime: Fable and Glen Gouley1:04:20 Second half1:11:54 Botha or Bakkies?1:18:46 Who has it worse in preseason?1:33:38 DIY or die1:35:56 Hand job adjacent1:42:23 The 25 lb kettlebell1:50:02 Next week: Negroni, Scotch and Glasgow1:55:48 Outro