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Why Do I…?

Why Do I…?

By: Tom Stroud x I.A.M Podcasts
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About this listen

Exploring the behaviours that shape our relationships, with ourselves and with others 💬 ‘Why Do I…?’ is a podcast about the behaviours and patterns that show up in our relationships, and what happens when we start to notice them. Hosted by Tom Stroud, the series follows on from Why Do Men, which explored male behaviour in dating and relationships. This season broadens the lens, moving away from expert advice around specific behaviours like ghosting and jealousy towards lived experience across all kinds of relationships.Tom Stroud x I.A.M Podcasts Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Tom’s Reflection: I Was Proud Of Never Getting Angry… Until I Realised This
    Apr 6 2026

    We’re told anger is a bad thing.
    So a lot of us just… stop feeling it.

    Or at least, we think we do.

    After my conversation with Sam Parker, I realised something uncomfortable:
    I don’t really feel anger… and that might be the problem.

    Because you can’t get rid of an emotion.
    You can only suppress it.

    And when you do, it shows up in other ways– distance– tension– saying “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not

    This is me trying to make sense of that.
    If you’ve ever struggled to express how you actually feel… this might hit.


    👇 CONNECT WITH US

    Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enSam: https://www.instagram.com/samparkeruk/

    📖 Check out Sam’s book Good Anger:
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Anger-Radical-Rethink-Misunderstood/dp/1399417851

    💎 This show is part of the I.A.M Podcasts roster


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    7 mins
  • Why Do I Repress My Anger...? With Sam Parker
    Mar 30 2026

    We’re taught that anger is something to avoid.

    That it’s dangerous.

    Unattractive.

    Something that pushes people away.

    So instead… we suppress it. We tell ourselves we’re “not an angry person.” We keep the peace. We bottle things up. But what if the real problem isn’t anger…It’s the fact we never let ourselves feel it?


    In this episode of Why Do I, I’m joined by Sam Parker from GQ, who’s spent years exploring what happens when we repress anger… and the impact it has on our relationships, our anxiety, and how we show up in the world.


    If you’ve ever said “I’m just not an angry person”…


    If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or tense without knowing why…


    If you’ve ever struggled to express how you really feel…

    This episode is for you...


    EPISODE CHAPTERS:

    00:00 – Why I Struggle to Feel Anger

    05:30 – The Hidden Cost of Suppressing Anger

    12:30 – How It Shows Up in Relationships

    20:00 – Learning to Identify & Express Anger

    28:30 – Conflict, Communication & Repair

    36:30 – Social Media & Collective Anger

    OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇

    Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=en

    Tom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=en

    Sam: https://www.instagram.com/samparkeruk/


    Also check out Sams book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Anger-Radical-Rethink-Misunderstood/dp/1399417851

    💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster

    #WhyDoI #Anger #samparker

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    47 mins
  • Tom's Reflection: I Used Sex As A Way To Validate Myself
    Mar 23 2026

    We grow up believing that a good relationship means good sex.

    That if you’re having enough of it…
    If the chemistry is there…
    If the spark hasn’t faded…

    Then everything else must be working.

    But that’s not always true.

    Because you can be having loads of sex…
    And still feel completely disconnected.

    In this reflection episode of Why Do I, I unpack one of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve had around relationships… following my conversation with Henika Patel.

    I open up about how I used to measure the success of a relationship through sex alone…
    Why so many men fall into that trap…
    And how that way of thinking can quietly damage something that could’ve been meaningful.

    We get into why desire naturally changes over time…
    The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire…
    And why chasing the early “dopamine phase” can stop you from building something deeper.

    I also share my own experiences with validation, distraction, and not having the tools to communicate properly in relationships…
    And why most couples aren’t actually struggling with sex - they’re struggling with connection.

    If you’ve ever questioned your attraction in a relationship…
    If things have felt different over time…
    If you’ve ever used sex as a way to measure how things are going…

    This episode will shift the way you see it.


    OH YEAH! Before You Go - Connect With Us On Socials 👇Pod: https://www.instagram.com/whydoiofficial/?hl=enTom: https://www.instagram.com/stroudtom/?hl=enHenika: https://www.instagram.com/henika.x/?hl=en


    💎 This show is part of the ⁠I.A.M Podcasts⁠ roster


    #WhyDoI #Relationships


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    9 mins
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