Shadow work around performing for connection explores how the roles we learned to play as children — to stay safe, liked, or needed — become the performances we carry into adult relationships.

In this episode of Wholehearted Loving, Georgianna and Steph talk about Conscious Relationship Training, and how it helped them unpack their own performing for connection. Steph shares how comfort in discomfort became her norm, and how she learned to stop creating pain as a form of control. Georgianna opens up about how “being nice” was really about avoiding her own discomfort when others felt bad — and how shadow work helped her find real freedom.

Together, they explore what authenticity actually feels like in the body, how to track “just-right” sensations before things tip into overwhelm, and why performing kindness is never the same as living it.

Discover how:

• Performances for love and safety begin as clever coping and can end as chronic disconnection

• Awareness of your body’s subtle cues can prevent emotional over-stretching

• Real compassion includes yourself — not just everyone else

"Like finding gold." – Alma W.

"The best therapy I've ever done for myself." – Sanjeev B.

LIVE training & practice programs:
wholeheartedloving.com

Get our self-compassionate body-based toolkit

Every episode begins and ends with a body-based self-connection practice, so you can grow your capacity to be with all that life brings. We also include self-reflection and journaling prompts each week, posted on our Instagram @wholeheartedloving. New episodes every Sunday at 10 am PT.

With love,

Georgianna & Steph

Shadow work is a great way to explore what happens when our need to be liked keeps us from being real.

In this episode of Wholehearted Loving, Georgianna and Steph begin with a literal light-and-shadow practice and move into the deeper truth of emotional shadow work: what we hide to stay safe. Georgianna shares a powerful story about her son saying he wanted to “saw his brother in half” — and how meeting that truth with compassion revealed what all humans need when we’re at our most raw. Steph reflects on her own learned “niceness” and how she used intellectual kindness to cover frustration and fear, creating emotional dissonance and disconnection.

Together, they explore how people-pleasing and palatability develop as protective strategies, how they block intimacy, and how self-awareness turns those patterns into power. From relationships to parenting to personal growth, they show what it really means to be fully human — not just polite.

Discover how:

• Niceness can become a mask that hides our needs

• Shadow work reveals the light we’ve hidden to stay safe

• Real connection grows when we stop performing “fine”

"Like finding gold." – Alma W.

"The best therapy I've ever done for myself." – Sanjeev B.

LIVE training & practice programs:
wholeheartedloving.com

Get our self-compassionate body-based toolkit

Every episode begins and ends with a body-based self-connection practice, so you can grow your capacity to be with all that life brings. We also include self-reflection and journaling prompts each week, posted on our Instagram @wholeheartedloving. New episodes every Sunday at 10am PT.

With love,

Georgianna & Steph

Fault-finding is a typical — and unhelpful — way to bring our critical energy into relationships.

In this episode of Wholehearted Loving, Georgianna and Steph explore the tension between seeing what’s wrong and allowing what’s right. Georgianna shares the moment she caught herself ready to correct her partner mid-kindness and realized her old habit of “quality control” was blocking closeness. Steph reflects on her childhood training to “help by fixing,” how she swung to the other extreme of never offering input, and what balance feels like now.

Together they reveal how nitpicking acts as low-grade fight energy, how compassion turns critique into connection, and how letting people win with you makes relationships feel safe again — for both sides.

Discover how:

• Awareness turns criticism into choice and trust

• Nitpicking reveals unspoken fight energy ready to move

• Ease and connection grow when you practice seeing what’s working

"Like finding gold." – Alma W.

"The best therapy I've ever done for myself." – Sanjeev B.

LIVE training & practice programs:
wholeheartedloving.com

Get our self-compassionate body-based toolkit

Every episode begins and ends with a body-based self-connection practice, so you can grow your capacity to be with all that life brings. We also include self-reflection and journaling prompts each week, posted on our Instagram @wholeheartedloving. New episodes every Sunday at 10 am PT.

With love,

Georgianna & Steph