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In this episode of WTF is on My Mind, I sit down with author and dark psychology educator Richard Grannon to explore something that’s been gnawing at my Patreon community: the disturbing rise of post-cult interviews where former NXIVM insiders speak as though they’re remorseful, but their words don’t always match their energy. My community senses there’s a difference between genuine accountability and what Richard and I refer to as cognitive empathy theater. And many survivors tell me they can feel any potential disconnect immediately, even when the language sounds “right.”

We talk about the spectrum of remorse—why some people can name their actions with humility while others wrap themselves in self-pity and sentimentality.

We unpack whether narcissists and psychopaths really don’t know what they’re doing, or if that confusion is actually part of the performance. We question the cultural habit of rushing to psychologize abusers, and we name the uncomfortable truth: trauma doesn’t cause cruelty. And empathy without discernment? That’s not compassion... it’s a liability. Sometimes even a form of self-betrayal.

This isn’t just about NXIVM. It’s about the larger conversation around power, denial, and the subtle rebranding of harm in public spaces. It’s about what happens when people who inflicted damage are given platforms to spin their story before they’ve truly reckoned with it. And it’s about what it means to hold that with clarity, without being consumed by bitterness.

My incredible Patreon members helped shape this conversation through their questions and insights. They’ve created a space where honesty, nuance, and emotional maturity still exist—and I’m grateful for it. If you’re looking for real talk about dark systems, manipulative personalities, and the ongoing work of recovery, this one’s for you.

You can access the uncensored, extended portion of this conversation—where I ask Richard the specific questions submitted by my Patreon community—at patreon.com/markvicente

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The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
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What does it really take to stop repeating toxic patterns? To finally choose yourself after trauma, addiction, and emotional chaos?

In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Jared Mello — aka The Wizard of Radical Self-Respect — to unpack the brutal, beautiful road to reclaiming yourself after abuse, addiction, and entanglement with toxic systems and people.

Find Jared Mello Online:

• YouTube: @jaredmello
• Website: https://radicalselfrespect.com
• Instagram: @wizard_of_radical_self_respect
• E-Book: “Radical Self-Respect: Avoid Falling for the Same BS”

Jared is a coach, content creator, and advocate for survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control. He brings lived experience: childhood dysfunction, undiagnosed neurodivergence, addiction, trauma, and relationships with narcissistic and borderline partners. Out of that crucible came a powerful philosophy: Radical Self-Respect — the inner work that helps you stop outsourcing your worth and start protecting your peace.

We cover:

• Jared’s journey from addiction and chaos to grounded leadership
• How narcissistic abuse shows up in romantic and family systems
• The overlap (and difference) between trauma and autism
• Male survivors, man-hating trends, and breaking silence
• Why clarity isn’t the same as healing
• Cults, image management, and sneaky-fucker-fish (yes, really)
• Small, concrete steps you can take TODAY to start respecting yourself

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The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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In this episode, I sit down with Richard Grannon to ask the question that’s been on my mind for a while: What is Borderline Personality Disorder? And when you're trying to figure out someone's irrational behavior, is it BPD? Complex PTSD? Or Vulnerable Narcissism?

I’ve encountered some wildly confusing behavior in recent years—emotional whiplash, contradictions, disappearing boundaries—and I’ve been trying to make sense of it. This is not an academic exercise for me. It’s personal.

Richard and I unpack how BPD is often misdiagnosed, how it overlaps (and diverges) from narcissism, and why trauma is at the root of so many misunderstood behaviors. We also talk about the difference between having a moral core… and operating without one.

If you’ve ever felt crazy after dealing with someone whose personality seems to shapeshift—or if you’re trying to figure out what the hell just happened in a past relationship—this one might hit home.

Support the show

The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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This conversation with Richard Grannon covers a topic I’ve been wanting to unpack for a long time: the tension between self-reflection and what often gets labeled as victim blaming.

If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, coercive control, or cult manipulation, you’ve probably come up against this moment — where someone talks about agency or healing, and it lands like blame. I’ve felt that too.

Richard and I dive into why that happens, what the term victim blaming originally meant, and how weaponized language online can derail the recovery process. We talk about grief, rage, childhood trauma, fawning, codependency, covert contracts, and why some of the most powerful healing comes after we stop outsourcing our agency — without ever denying the harm done.

This isn’t about blaming survivors. It’s about finding a way back to power.

To De-Cult your news feed, sign up for Ground News using my affiliate link. 40% off the normal price. https://ground.news/checkout/all?fpr=mark93

Support the show

The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/
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To De-Cult your news feed, sign up for Ground News using my affiliate link. 40% off the normal price. https://ground.news/checkout/all?fpr=mark93

What if narcissistic abuse doesn’t show up right away… but builds up like radiation in the body—silent, invisible, and devastating over time?

In this solo episode, recorded from Cape Town, I reflect on family lineage, legacy, and the long-term effects of being around narcissists—especially the malignant kind. Inspired by a visit to my family's grave site, I look at how the effects of unresolved pathology gets passed down through generations… and how it quietly shapes our choices, fears, and dreams (or lack of them).

We’ve been way too focused on diagnosing the “radioactive substance.” But what about the people slowly getting poisoned just by being in its presence?

Check out my other podcast, "Remember Your Greatness"
https://www.youtube.com/@UCHUIodar-kbyUr0rmst2j1g

Support the show

The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Dr. Peter Salerno — a retired psychotherapist and author who has spent decades studying personality disorders, psychopathy, and complex trauma.

Our conversation dives straight into one of the most heated debates in psychology: are narcissists shaped by trauma and upbringing, or are some people simply born with traits that evolve into full-blown disorders? Dr. Salerno challenges the conventional belief that all narcissism stems from childhood wounds, pointing to research in genetics and neuroscience that shows a far more complicated picture.

We also unpack his concept of “traumatic cognitive dissonance” — the paralyzing confusion survivors experience when an abuser deliberately installs contradictory realities in their minds. It’s not just internal conflict; it’s an engineered state of disorientation that keeps people stuck in toxic relationships and systems of control.

From there, the discussion widens: we explore how support groups can restore a shattered sense of reality, why some people lose touch with their identity after abuse, and what it really takes to rebuild a self when you were never given the space to form one in the first place. We also look at narcissistic emptiness, the myth of the “hidden shame,” and why grandiosity — not insecurity — may actually be the engine driving narcissistic behavior.

The conversation doesn’t stay confined to therapy rooms. We talk about the ways these dynamics show up in society at large — from political polarization to media manipulation — and how it all echoes the same psychological warfare found in abusive relationships.

This was a fascinating and unsettling deep dive into human psychology, which left me with a whole new lens on abuse, personality, and power.

Dr. Peter Salerno’s website: https://drpetersalerno.com
Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dr.-Peter-Salerno/author/B09NCBTPML
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UCYlLHe7DyXJiOWO7kceUAHA
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drpetersalerno/

Support the show

The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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New Youtube Channel and Podcast - "Remember Your Greatness"

Youtube Channel Apple Podcasts Spotify

Mentoring

In this episode of WTF Is On My Mind?!, I sit down with Richard Grannon for a deep dive into the strange history of psychology, its blind spots, and what happens when we ignore the transpersonal, morality, and meaning.

We ask the uncomfortable questions: Why did Freud’s worldview win out over Jung and Adler? What does it say about power, narcissism, and control in the human psyche? And what have we lost by pushing aside God, spirituality, and morality in the therapeutic process?

This conversation weaves through:
• Freud’s cult-like hold on psychoanalysis and why his ideas gained dominance
• Jung’s brilliance and vagueness — and how hippies and bypassers misused him
• Adler’s radical focus on responsibility and courage, and why it’s so confronting
• How cult leaders twist legitimate psychological insights into tools of abuse
• Why psychology struggles with replication, science envy, and false authority
• The role of morality in healing trauma (and even reshaping the brain)
• The dangers of abandoning spirituality after cult abuse — and what gets lost
• The God question: authoritarian caricatures vs. transcendent awe
• How nature, dreams, and mystical experience provide real breakthroughs
• Science, uncertainty, and the humility we need to face the mystery of existence

Richard and I don’t hold back — we talk about cults, coercion, narcissism, spirituality, and the deep hunger for meaning in a postmodern world. Whether you’ve wrestled with therapy, spirituality, or the aftermath of high-control systems, this one cuts right to the bone.

Support the show

The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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In this follow-up conversation, filmmaker, whistleblower, and podcast host Mark Vicente sits down again with Sarma Melngailis, the woman at the center of Netflix’s Bad Vegan.

While the series portrayed her as complicit with Anthony Strangis and ignored key truths, Sarma’s new memoir, The Girl with the Duck Tattoo, reveals the deeper story: years of coercive control, psychological abuse, and dissociation.

1st Interview with Sarma: https://youtu.be/p2bA7XiP83g
Sarma's Book Website: https://thegirlwiththeducktattoo.com/
Sarma's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarmamelngailis
Sarma's Substack: https://substack.com/@sarmamelngailis?utm_source=user-menu
Sarma's Website: https://www.sarmaraw.com/

This episode explores:
• How Netflix distorted her story
• What coercive control and dissociation feel like from the inside
• The pain of being criminalized and misrepresented by the media
• Why intelligent, capable people can still fall prey to predators
• The long, messy road of healing and reclaiming truth

⚠️ This conversation includes discussion of coercive control, psychological manipulation, dissociation, and emotional abuse. Viewer discretion is advised.

This is more than one woman’s story — it’s a case study in how media narratives can erase survivor truth, and how reclaiming your voice becomes an act of survival.

Support the show

The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/
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