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WTF is on my Mind?!

WTF is on my Mind?!

By: Mark Vicente
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Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success.

Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney; “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture.

Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful.

Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him.

Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization.

Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!

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Episodes
  • NXIVM & the Psychology of Self-Pity w/ Richard Grannon

    NXIVM & the Psychology of Self-Pity w/ Richard Grannon
    Nov 30 2025

    To De-Cult your news feed, sign up for GROUND NEWS using my affiliate link. 40% off the normal price. https://ground.news/checkout/all?fpr=mark93

    In this episode of WTF is on My Mind, I sit down with author and dark psychology educator Richard Grannon to explore something that’s been gnawing at my Patreon community: the disturbing rise of post-cult interviews where former NXIVM insiders speak as though they’re remorseful, but their words don’t always match their energy. My community senses there’s a difference between genuine accountability and what Richard and I refer to as cognitive empathy theater. And many survivors tell me they can feel any potential disconnect immediately, even when the language sounds “right.”

    We talk about the spectrum of remorse—why some people can name their actions with humility while others wrap themselves in self-pity and sentimentality.

    We unpack whether narcissists and psychopaths really don’t know what they’re doing, or if that confusion is actually part of the performance. We question the cultural habit of rushing to psychologize abusers, and we name the uncomfortable truth: trauma doesn’t cause cruelty. And empathy without discernment? That’s not compassion... it’s a liability. Sometimes even a form of self-betrayal.

    This isn’t just about NXIVM. It’s about the larger conversation around power, denial, and the subtle rebranding of harm in public spaces. It’s about what happens when people who inflicted damage are given platforms to spin their story before they’ve truly reckoned with it. And it’s about what it means to hold that with clarity, without being consumed by bitterness.

    My incredible Patreon members helped shape this conversation through their questions and insights. They’ve created a space where honesty, nuance, and emotional maturity still exist—and I’m grateful for it. If you’re looking for real talk about dark systems, manipulative personalities, and the ongoing work of recovery, this one’s for you.

    You can access the uncensored, extended portion of this conversation—where I ask Richard the specific questions submitted by my Patreon community—at patreon.com/markvicente

    Support the show

    The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
    Website: www.markvicente.com
    Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/
    X: https://x.com/markvicente
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
    Show More Show Less
    40 mins
  • Radical Self-Respect After Narcissistic Abuse w/ Jared Mello

    Radical Self-Respect After Narcissistic Abuse w/ Jared Mello
    Nov 16 2025

    What does it really take to stop repeating toxic patterns? To finally choose yourself after trauma, addiction, and emotional chaos?

    In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Jared Mello — aka The Wizard of Radical Self-Respect — to unpack the brutal, beautiful road to reclaiming yourself after abuse, addiction, and entanglement with toxic systems and people.

    Find Jared Mello Online:

    • YouTube: @jaredmello
    • Website: https://radicalselfrespect.com
    • Instagram: @wizard_of_radical_self_respect
    • E-Book: “Radical Self-Respect: Avoid Falling for the Same BS”

    Jared is a coach, content creator, and advocate for survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control. He brings lived experience: childhood dysfunction, undiagnosed neurodivergence, addiction, trauma, and relationships with narcissistic and borderline partners. Out of that crucible came a powerful philosophy: Radical Self-Respect — the inner work that helps you stop outsourcing your worth and start protecting your peace.

    We cover:

    • Jared’s journey from addiction and chaos to grounded leadership
    • How narcissistic abuse shows up in romantic and family systems
    • The overlap (and difference) between trauma and autism
    • Male survivors, man-hating trends, and breaking silence
    • Why clarity isn’t the same as healing
    • Cults, image management, and sneaky-fucker-fish (yes, really)
    • Small, concrete steps you can take TODAY to start respecting yourself

    Support the show

    The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
    Website: www.markvicente.com
    Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/
    X: https://x.com/markvicente
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 1 min
  • Borderline or Narcissist? w/ Richard Grannon

    Borderline or Narcissist? w/ Richard Grannon
    Nov 2 2025

    In this episode, I sit down with Richard Grannon to ask the question that’s been on my mind for a while: What is Borderline Personality Disorder? And when you're trying to figure out someone's irrational behavior, is it BPD? Complex PTSD? Or Vulnerable Narcissism?

    I’ve encountered some wildly confusing behavior in recent years—emotional whiplash, contradictions, disappearing boundaries—and I’ve been trying to make sense of it. This is not an academic exercise for me. It’s personal.

    Richard and I unpack how BPD is often misdiagnosed, how it overlaps (and diverges) from narcissism, and why trauma is at the root of so many misunderstood behaviors. We also talk about the difference between having a moral core… and operating without one.

    If you’ve ever felt crazy after dealing with someone whose personality seems to shapeshift—or if you’re trying to figure out what the hell just happened in a past relationship—this one might hit home.

    Support the show

    The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
    Website: www.markvicente.com
    Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/
    X: https://x.com/markvicente
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
    Show More Show Less
    49 mins
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