Episodes

  • The Smell Olympics: Nothing Beats a Five-Pound Bag of Forgotten Potatoes
    Aug 19 2025

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    32 mins
  • Tennis Balls Under the Bed and a Homeless Person at Breakfast
    Aug 12 2025

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    We share a nightmare hotel experience that occurred at the start of our family vacation to the Great Smoky Mountains, featuring an abandoned front desk, malfunctioning room equipment, and a tennis ball under the bed.

    • The hotel nightmare begins with a 45-minute wait at an unmanned reception desk
    • Phones ring unanswered throughout the hotel while guests stand helplessly in the lobby
    • Room amenities include an aircraft-loud air conditioner and a high-pitched refrigerator causing ear ringing
    • Morning reveals a homeless person sleeping in the breakfast area while the front desk phone continues ringing
    • Despite multiple attempts to contact management for a refund, calls remain unreturned
    • A second story features a Diamond Elite status showdown when a motel refuses to provide a refund despite broken amenities
    • The vacation eventually continues with a beautiful mountain cabin experience featuring stunning sunrise and sunset views

    If you've ever stayed in a shitty hotel, make sure you leave it in the comments and maybe we'll share your story on air eventually.


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    28 mins
  • Infested Magic: When Disney Met Cockroaches
    Aug 5 2025

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    Our magical Disney World adventure takes an unexpected turn when we encounter an army of gigantic Florida cockroaches during the Phantasmic nighttime show at Hollywood Studios. What begins as an exciting family outing with prime seating quickly transforms into a horror show as hundreds of enormous roaches emerge from a manhole cover, creating waves of panic throughout the audience.

    • Giant cockroaches the size of flip phones invade the Phantasmic amphitheater
    • Creatures emerge by the hundreds from a manhole cover near our front-row seats
    • A motorized scooter runs over one cockroach, leaving it twitching right in front of us
    • Audience members jump onto bleachers screaming while some brave souls attempt to stamp out the invaders
    • My four-year-old remains surprisingly unfazed by the roach invasion
    • Despite the chaos, the Phantasmic water and light show proves to be spectacular
    • Research reveals this is a well-documented ongoing problem at the Phantasmic venue
    • Florida wildlife encounters continue at Legoland with a snake that fascinates my fearless four-year-old

    Share your cockroach horror stories with us in the comments - we'd love to hear about your encounters with these resilient creatures!


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    23 mins
  • Junkers, Axe Holes, and Teenage Freedom: Our First Car Chronicles
    Jul 30 2025

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    Three friends reminisce about their first cars and the freedom, breakdowns, and bizarre incidents that came with teenage car ownership in the 1990s.

    • Jay's "Red Wolf" - a maroon Ford Taurus that cost $500 and lasted only a week before breaking down
    • Chris's 1977 gold Pontiac Catalina with bench seating that received an unintentional tattoo imprint during a romantic encounter
    • Tony's Plymouth Reliant with a DIY "dookie brown" paint job that survived repeated abuse but eventually caught fire
    • Firefighters using Tony's burning car as an impromptu training exercise, putting axe holes in every body panel
    • The origin story of Tony's car being sold by a father who caught his son planning to drink and drive
    • Discussion about the future of automobiles, including predictions about self-driving cars and flying vehicles

    Share your first car stories in the comments below! What was your first ride, when did you get it, and how long did it last before it died?


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    38 mins
  • Drunken Mistakes and Missing License Plates
    Jul 22 2025

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    Jay recounts a reckless driving incident from his youth that resulted in property damage, legal consequences, and important life lessons.

    • Jay and his friend went to a dance club where they consumed alcohol
    • After leaving, Jay drove recklessly, blowing through stop signs on the way home
    • While turning a corner near his grandparents' house, Jay crashed into a neighbor's yard and brick wall
    • The pair concocted a story about hitting a deer on the freeway
    • Police discovered Jay's license plate at the scene and came to question him
    • Jay had to apologize to the property owners, repair the damage, and go to court
    • The car, purchased just two months earlier, was totaled due to frame damage
    • The experience taught Jay an important lesson about not drinking and driving

    If you have an opportunity to review this show, we'd love to hear your stories too.


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    29 mins
  • Naked in the Spa: Tony's Unforgettable Anniversary Retreat
    Jul 15 2025

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    Tony recounts his recent three-day spa retreat celebrating his 24th wedding anniversary with his wife. The experience was filled with unexpected moments, awkward encounters, and surprising revelations about luxury pampering.

    • Confusion about spa dress code leads Tony to wear only a robe with nothing underneath
    • First-time facial experience with a specialist named after Tony's teenage crush (Topanga from Boy Meets World)
    • Luxurious hotel room with balcony where Tony vaped despite strict no-smoking policies
    • Security cameras potentially capturing Tony's naked balcony relaxation sessions
    • Debate about massage preferences – Tony explains why he prefers Asian massage therapists over white ones
    • Shock at spa pricing – basic services around $210-$230 with mandatory 20% gratuity plus expected additional tips
    • Tony's revelation about his monthly pedicure habit and relationship with his pedicurist Lili
    • Detailed description of hangnail removal process that sparked debate among hosts
    • Stealing a spa robe as a souvenir from the expensive weekend getaway


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    45 mins
  • The Auto Shop Showdown
    Jul 1 2025

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    Chris shares his frustrating experience with a car dealership over a warranty recall repair that turned into a multi-week ordeal of poor service and damaged car parts.

    • Chris receives repeated recall notices about a buzzing sound in his minivan's sliding door
    • Dealership makes him wait three weeks for an appointment, then doesn't have the needed part
    • When returning for the rescheduled repair, they damage his door panel and won't fix it immediately
    • The service manager tries to blame Chris for the damage and makes veiled threats about "being angry" when they have his car
    • A floor mat goes missing during service with no explanation
    • Tony shares a similar nightmare with his truck's oil change causing persistent "oil overfull" warnings
    • Discussion about the consistently poor quality of dealership service departments
    • Both agree these experiences ensure they'll never purchase vehicles from these dealerships again

    If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, hit the bell, and tell your friends about Top Shelf Stories - we want our stories to reach more people!


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    32 mins
  • Dog Bites and Human Fights
    Jun 24 2025

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    Jay and Chris discuss the uncomfortable realities of dealing with aggressive dogs while working in clients' homes, sharing personal stories of dog attacks and the complex aftermath.

    • Jay recounts getting bitten by a client's poodle and how he instinctively punched the dog to defend himself
    • Chris shares his more severe dog attack experience involving a Weimaraner that resulted in bleeding through his clothes
    • The hosts debate whether homeowners should be notified when their dogs bite contractors
    • Discussion about the legal implications of dog bites and homeowner responsibilities for providing safe work environments
    • Exploration of how dogs behave differently when their owners aren't present
    • Chris details a plumbing disaster that flooded a client's house in the same week as his dog bite
    • Warning about potential serious health consequences of dog bites, including infection risks
    • Advice for contractors on establishing clear boundaries about pets before beginning work

    If a dog has bitten you, even if it seems minor, please seek medical attention as infections can develop and lead to serious complications.


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    42 mins