In this episode, we’re naming the emotions many widows feel during the holidays but rarely say out loud.
Jealousy. Guilt. Anger. Longing. Mixed emotions that feel contradictory and confusing.
And the shame that often follows.

I also answer listener questions submitted this week—questions so many of you are wrestling with as the season approaches.

If the holidays bring up complicated emotions for you, you’re not alone and you're not doing anything wrong. This episode will meet you right where you are.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• Why the holidays amplify heavy emotions in grief

A look at how cultural pressure to “be joyful” clashes with the reality of living in the after.

• Why jealousy and envy show up (and what they’re really pointing to)

Spoiler: It’s not about wanting someone else’s life. It’s about missing your own before-loss life.

• The guilt of not feeling festive

How guilt is tied to expectations—not failure—and why your nervous system is actually protecting you.

• Anger, frustration, and emotional sensitivity

Understanding anger as a secondary emotion and what it’s trying to tell you.

• Regret, longing, and navigating traditions that feel impossible this year

Why familiar rituals can intensify grief, and how to give yourself permission to pause, shift, or create new ones.

• Mixed emotions: joy + sadness existing together

How to honor the duality of grief without questioning your love or loyalty to your person.

Key Takeaways

• Every emotion you feel is valid. None of it makes you ungrateful or unloving.
• Duality is normal in grief. You can feel joy and heartbreak in the same breath.
• Awareness is calming. Naming an emotion helps regulate your nervous system.
• Your reactions are biological, not personal failures.
• Presence matters more than perfection. You don’t have to force holiday spirit.

Quotes From the Episode

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated with you, I would love to stay connected.
You don’t have to navigate grief alone.

• Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends
Where I share grief support, tools, and real conversations about widowhood.

• Website: laurenlentz.com
Learn more about my 1:1 coaching, group program Re-Imagine, and upcoming retreats.

• Work With Me:
If you’re ready for deeper support—whether through private coaching or group connection—you can explore current openings and offerings on my website.

I’m here walking this with you. Always.

Short, gentle guidance for a season that can feel overwhelming.

Episode Summary

The holidays can bring a complicated mix of emotions. In this episode, we explore five compassionate, doable ways to care for yourself through a season that often feels heavy and demanding.

This episode is intentionally simple and grounding. No pressure. No perfection. Just tools to help you meet yourself gently, wherever you are in your grief.

1. Why Self-Support Matters During the Holidays

• The “oxygen mask first” metaphor and what it really means in grief.
• How tending to your own needs preserves your emotional capacity.
• Simple examples of self-care that don’t require energy you don’t have.

1. Set Boundaries

• How to get clear about what you can and can’t engage with.
• Plan A, B, and C as a gauge for your physical, emotional, and mental energy.
• Small, doable boundary examples you can use in real time.

2. Plan Mini Rituals for Comfort

• Why small, intentional acts can create moments of calm.
• Examples of rituals that honor your person and create space for love and memory.
• How rituals help grief and love coexist.

3. Ground Yourself in the Present

• Gentle mindfulness practices that don’t dismiss grief.
• Sensory moments (warm mug, candle, music, scent) that help interrupt overwhelm.
• Why grounding helps you reset and reconnect with yourself.

4. Keep Expectations Realistic

• Releasing the pressure for the holidays to look like they “used to.”
• Allowing joy to be small or infrequent—and allowing yourself not to feel festive at all.
• How realistic expectations reduce emotional strain.

5. Reach Out and Connect

• Finding the middle ground between total isolation and forced socializing.
• The power of brief, simple interactions with people who truly understand grief.
• Why connection doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful.

Use these to check in with yourself throughout the season:

• Which of the five practices feels most supportive for me this week?
• How can I honor my needs while engaging only in the moments that feel right?
• Is there a gentle reminder I can give myself when I start to feel overwhelmed?

Reflection doesn’t have to be formal—quiet thoughts, a note in your phone, or a few sentences in a journal all count.

If this episode supported you, I’d love to hear which practice resonated most.
You can connect with me on Instagram at @imsorrywerefriends or join my email community (www.laurenlentz.com) for grief support, tools, and upcoming offerings.

Episode 8: When the Holidays Bring Out Jealousy, Guilt, and Other Heavy Feelings
We’ll explore why these emotions arise and how to navigate them with compassion and honesty.

Today’s episode arrives on Thanksgiving — a day that can hold deep tenderness for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. While others gather around the table in gratitude and celebration, you may be feeling the weight of who isn’t there. The empty seat — both literal and symbolic — can stir a mix of emotions: love, longing, sadness, and deep remembrance.

In this episode, we pause together to breathe, to anchor into presence, and to name what grief may be bringing up for you on a day like today. Lauren shares her own story of the first Thanksgiving after losing her husband, Kevin, and reflects on how holidays can hold both love and pain in the same breath.

You’ll also hear gentle, practical ways to carry your person’s memory into this day — from lighting a candle or sharing a story, to simply noticing the quiet ways they’re still with you. These small gestures remind us that grief and love coexist — always.

Whether you’re spending the day surrounded by others or in the quiet company of your own heart, may this episode remind you that you’re not alone, that your grief is sacred, and that love continues to live through you.

In this episode, we explore:
A grounding practice to help you anchor into the present moment
The physical, emotional, and spiritual ways grief might show up during the holidays
Simple, meaningful opportunities to honor your loved one through small rituals or acts of remembrance
Permission to do the day in whatever way feels right for you

Favorite Quote:

If today feels heavy, know this: You don’t have to do it all. Even one small act — lighting a candle, telling a story, or simply breathing — is enough to honor the love that still lives within you.

Resources & Links:
Connect with Lauren through social media: @imsorrywerefriends
Join the Re-Imagine spring waitlist or learn about 1:1 grief coaching: www.laurenlentz.com