The Ten Thousand Things cover art

The Ten Thousand Things

By: Sam Ellis Joe Loh and Ali Catramados
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  • Summary

  • Sometimes deep, often amusing, therapeutic chats touching on philosophy, spirituality, religion, consciousness, culture, music, dating, and life. Join Sam, Joe and Ali as they discuss the 10,000 illusions that make up “reality”. Musical theme by Ehsan Gelsi - Ephemera (Live at Melbourne Town Hall)
    Sam Ellis, Joe Loh and Ali Catramados
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Episodes
  • Is Love the Drug?

    Is Love the Drug?
    May 17 2024

    Romantic Realities: Deconstructing the Romantic Love Myth

    We dive into the misconceptions of romantic love prevalent in Western culture, drawing on a quote from You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Swartz. Get the book from Internal Family Systems Institute at https://ifs-institute.com/you-are-one-youve-been-waiting

    Sam mentions Let's Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice podcast with Dr Morgan, yet again, but actually links to it this time. https://episodes.fm/1496034764 to find it on your podcast player of choice. But I use and recommend Podcast Guru, and Fountain, available on all phones ... anyway it's a great resource on attachment theory, and if you end up taking a workshop let Sam know how it goes.

    Here's the quote:

    Our Western culture and many of the relationship experts in it have issued us faulty maps and improper tools. We've been told that the love we need is a buried treasure, hidden in the heart of a special intimate partner. Once we find that partner, the love we crave should flow elixir like, filling our empty spaces and healing our pain.

    We touch on:

    • the usual gossip and personal experiences, in between the wise and reflective stuff.
    • historic context of romantic love as an ideal
    • likely role of biology in facilitating feelings of romantic love
    • vs the grim reality of marriage historically, as the transfer of property between men
    • romance in media
    • the unrealistic expectations it sets
    • reflect on the nature of love
    • love's challenges
    • the importance of self-love
    • and realistic expectations in intimate relationships
    • dynamics of attachment styles
    • mental health, and the balance between self-reliance and being a good partner
    • a broader contemplation of love's realities versus its cultural constructions

    Episode image: courtesy of Craig - read stories and look at more great shots at https://wish-art.blog/gallery/


    The show cover is from the filming of The KLF's Ancients of Mu clip - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/apr/27/return-of-the-klf-bill-drummond-jimmy-cauty

    Show theme is from Ehsan Gelsi - he just dropped a new song video today - it's nice synth instrumental music. Watch the maestro at work over at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN9XE0UKZDE

    0:00 TTTT Is Love the Drug?
    00:18 Myth of Romantic Love
    02:10 Personal Stories: Rethinking Romance
    04:53 Debating the Reality of Romantic Love
    08:18 The Cultural and Biological Perspectives on Love
    32:42 Navigating New Beginnings and Misunderstandings
    32:54 The Journey of Moving In and Relationship Dynamics
    33:22 Relationship Flags: Red, Yellow, and Green
    36:10 Mental Health and Self-Awareness in Relationships
    52:54 Reflections on Love, Choice, and Commitment

    • (00:00) - Is Love the Drug?
    • (00:18) - Myth of Romantic Love
    • (02:10) - Personal Stories: Rethinking Romance
    • (04:53) - Debating the Reality of Romantic Love
    • (08:18) - The Cultural and Biological Perspectives on Love
    • (32:42) - Navigating New Beginnings and Misunderstandings
    • (32:54) - The Journey of Moving In and Relationship Dynamics
    • (33:22) - Relationship Flags: Red, Yellow, and Green
    • (36:10) - Mental Health and Self-Awareness in Relationships
    • (52:54) - Reflections on Love, Choice, and Commitment
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Sam reads your listener notes

    Sam reads your listener notes
    May 9 2024

    Listeners are producers. Thank you for getting the show out.
    I reflect on my own podcast listening: helpful with insomnia, and a lifeline during tough times. Write me here

    Reading a wide range of listener notes, I respond and explore

    • personal themes:
    • vulnerability
    • thoughts on how to engage usefully with attachment theory, to go looking for the things we don't want to say
    • the two breakdown eps from Joe and Ali
    • voyeurism: when is it okay to listen to people spilling about intense experiences
    • I say it's because people pod with honesty, because they want to be seen and accepted, flaws and all, so you're helping. If it's feeding something exploitative, you'll feel it.

    Themes around speaking, activism, expression:

    • the half-informed should speak, while being honest about their level of understanding, otherwise we will only hear from the powerful and the uninformed, who are never honest about their level of understanding
    • middle-class white women do speak up a lot, but should continue to do so
    • a brief history of middle-class women as key activists
    • I encourage a writer who listens, to start a show, and offer support and advice to anyone curious about getting started

    Networked communal media not subject to the algorithm

    • the communal, horizontal, networked experience of podcasts (listeners become producers, or step up to speak, in a mutually supporting way)
    • audio over RSS: the last medium not to have been completely overrun by ads and algorithms
    • open nature of podcast distribution via RSS feeds, Really Simple Syndication, contrasting it with highly vertical, platform-dependent media (LOCKED SYSTEMS = serfdom)
    • commercial radio thrived on podcast-ish values before becoming a bloated ad beast
    • a call for community support and contribution, reinforcing the collaborative spirit of podcasting
    • listeners as producers, who contribute to the content and continuity of podcasts
    • Value for Value, decentralisation: the philosophy we need for sustainable media in the age of closed platforms
    • the importance of fearless feedback in all directions
    • the democratizing power of podcasts under techno-feudalism

    Creators & Guests

    • Sam Ellis - Host
    Art by https://www.instagram.com/schinacoy/

    • (00:00) - The Life-Changing Power of Podcasts
    • (01:11) - Podcast Listening Habits
    • (02:07) - Podcast Listeners as Producers
    • (03:38) - Exploring Attachment Theory Through Listener Feedback
    • (06:21) - The Open Nature of Podcasting vs. Centralized Media
    • (24:18) - Embracing Vulnerability and Listener Connections
    • (25:06) - The Power of Envy and Personal Growth
    • (25:36) - Podcasting as a Form of Expression
    • (30:02) - The Impact of Listening and Speaking
    • (32:27) - Exploring Faith and Listener Feedback

    00:00 The Life-Changing Power of Podcasts
    01:11 Podcast Listening Habits
    02:07 Podcast Listeners as Producers
    03:38 Exploring Attachment Theory Through Listener Feedback
    06:21 The Open Nature of Podcasting vs. Centralized Media
    24:18 Embracing Vulnerability and Listener Connections
    25:06 The Power of Envy and Personal Growth
    25:36 Podcasting as a Form of Expression
    30:02 The Impact of Listening and Speaking
    32:27 Exploring Faith and Listener Feedback
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    50 mins
  • Just One Thing - Ep 4 - Jack Kornfield

    Just One Thing - Ep 4 - Jack Kornfield
    May 3 2024
    What we take to be a self is tentative, fictitious, constructed by clinging, a temporary identification with some parts of experience. Self arises, solidifying itself, like ice floating in water. Ice is actually made of the same substance as water. Identification and clinging harden the water into ice. In a similar way, we sense ourself as separate. Jack Kornfield - The Wise HeartThis realization that the separate self is an illusion must be one of the most useful things I've ever learned. I spent most of my life assuming that I was a separate self-contained unit and I felt disconnected from those around me. From the universe as a whole. But where exactly is this seat of the self? Where's the little Joe who's up there in my head, directing everything? Where is the seat of attention? If I look for myself, where do I find myself? I find a constant flow of sense data, sights, sounds, smells, temperature. I find thoughts. But who are these thoughts occurring to?As Jack Kornfield says, identification and clinging harden the water into ice. The closest thing I can find to a separate self is this contraction in my chest that seems to create some kind of locus in time and space. But actually I am in no way separate from the flow. This has been seen through for me in meditation. What I find in meditation, if I have a good session, is I drop into a much larger, possibly infinite, ocean of awake awareness. Which mostly has a fairly neutral quality, but there's actually a lovingness there. A gentle sense of support. And I find this encouraging to say the least.Of course, I have a social self and I need to function. And go to work and perform my roles in society. But there's no need to constantly reify the separate self, this particle, somehow split off from the rest of the universe. What I actually find is an openness, a sort of infinite openness, where I used to imagine my separate self to be. Jack Kornfield talks about ice and water. I've heard it talked about in terms of a wave. A wave that somehow thinks it's separate from the ocean. Or a sunbeam that's forgotten it's part of the sun. I'm a part of something much bigger than I always took myself to be. But it's also something incredibly simple. It's just the present moment. I'm not separate to you who's reading this. I really am just part of this flow.I only care about this because I guess I've always just wanted to know the truth. I guess I've always suffered feeling so separate from things around me. It's a great relief when I realize and drop into the fact that I'm this open, loving awareness. And I can then accept everything just exactly the way it is in the present moment. After all, what other choice, do I really have?Creators & GuestsJoe Loh - HostThis is part of an ongoing series of reflections by Joe on readings. He's also posting writing at https://joeloh.substack.com Image: courtesy of Craig over at https://wish-art.blog---------------------More about the author of today's quote:Jack Kornfield (born 1945) is an American writer and teacher in the Vipassana movement in American Theravada Buddhism.[1] He trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, Burma and India,[2] first as a student of the Thai forest master Ajahn Chah and Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma. He has taught mindfulness meditation worldwide since 1974. In 1975, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein, and subsequently[clarification needed] in 1987, Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. Kornfield has worked as a peacemaker and activist, organized teacher training, and led international gatherings of Buddhist teachers including the Dalai Lama. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_KornfieldWebsite | jackkornfield.comMore about The Wise Heart
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    3 mins
Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Social Sciences Relationships
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