Episodes

  • Returning From Break Is a Trap | Teachers Lounge Podcast | Ep 52

    Returning From Break Is a Trap | Teachers Lounge Podcast | Ep 52
    Dec 8 2025
    Welcome back to The Teachers Lounge Live — the only podcast where exhausted teachers and comedians try to survive the week without rage-quitting, rage-eating, or rage-baiting middle schoolers. Matt and Chris break down the emotional rollercoaster of returning from Thanksgiving break, why teachers age like bananas, why sleep hits different after 30, and why Los Angeles is scientifically proven to remove 12 years from your life. They also talk about: • Middle school chaos • Admin who *actually* deserve a gold star • Why every teacher secretly doubles as a security guard, therapist, busboy, hostage negotiator, and sometimes… Shakespeare director • Whether teachers should date other teachers (the answer is unhinged but honest) • Their most viral Teacher Talks of the week • Why kids think glue is a beverage • Why 16 boys in every class want to reenact historical assassinations Make sure to drop your questions in the comments so we can read them *on-air* next episode — **as long as they’re school appropriate** (we say that phrase 900 times a day, so don’t make us say it again). --- You can skip chapters - but don't skip class: 00:00 – Intro & welcome back 00:08 – “We are LIVE!” + teacher intros 00:29 – Why being a teacher matters (…apparently) 00:49 – Teachers = stressed, viewers = stressed, everyone = stressed 01:11 – “This podcast is AA for teachers” 02:11 – Post-Thanksgiving chill… kind of 02:33 – The luxury of teaching 10–12 kids at once 02:52 – Shoutout to missing co-host Zo (tech week chaos) 03:13 – Fashion roast: Zo is always best dressed 03:30 – Matt’s squeaky retirement sneakers from Shoe Carnival 04:05 – Teacher mood cycle: Mon = good → Thu = furious → Fri = in love 04:44 – Why teachers need Olympian-level sleep 05:24 – “One McChicken can ruin your whole week after 30” 05:51 – Chris admits his ACTUAL age (47) 06:13 – Detention of the week: Our middle-school selves 07:12 – Why middle-school boys reenact every assassination 07:31 – Matt deserved detention for being “annoying, not mean” 08:15 – Small-town fame & childhood chaos 08:38 – Did young Matt do well academically? (…kinda) 09:31 – When high school flips a switch and you discover reading 10:29 – “Every book is a self-help book if you read it right” 12:08 – Russian literature teaches psychological self-defense 13:10 – Viewers join in — live chat shoutouts! 14:02 – Chris: “I was voted Most Talkative” 15:20 – Gold Star of the week: *Good admin* (yes they exist) 16:22 – Why admin gets blamed for everything 17:13 – Worst subbing experience of Matt’s life 18:12 – Best subbing experience: admin who actually helped 19:19 – What good admin *actually* looks like 20:14 – Checking in with the live chat 20:34 – Viewer Q: “Have you always been this stressed?” 22:08 – Why living in Los Angeles shaves years off your life 23:38 – How does anyone live to 100 in L.A.? 24:18 – Chris on managing stress like a Stoic philosopher 25:15 – Matt’s reality: “I’m a security guard trying to teach Shakespeare” 26:33 – Why drama class = pure chaos 27:17 – Rage-baiting: The new middle-school sport 27:57 – The Great Gum Debate 29:00 – Why adults who’ve never taught don’t get it 30:25 – Next viewer question: “Would you date another teacher?” 31:09 – Matt on proposing + dating comics 31:56 – Chris’s rule: “Not if they work at my school” 33:08 – Why breakups + same workplace = chaos 34:03 – Dating teachers at UTLA meetings (Chris’s new plan) 34:28 – Why teacher-teacher relationships *can* actually work 35:11 – Why dating in the same creative field is complicated 35:53 – Teaching couples vs comedy couples 36:12 – Dating someone outside the teacher bubble 38:26 – Highlighting this week’s top Teacher Talks 39:05 – Why Zo’s teacher talks are taking off 40:12 – Sketch comedy & stand-up clips coming soon 41:15 – Remember: they *are* actually funny 42:04 – The balance between honesty & humor 42:29 – Favorite Teacher Talks of the week 43:23 – Matt’s rant on educational jargon 44:05 – Chris’s “How many days till winter break?” talk 44:22 – Can you get work done the last week before break? 45:25 – Final sign-off & reminders --- #teacherpodcast #teacherhumor #comedians #middleschoolteachers #teacherlife #educationcomedy #teachertalks #classroomchaos #teachersupport #livepodcast #comedypodcast #teachertok #educatorlife --- If this episode made you laugh, cry, or briefly consider a career at Shoe Carnival, smash that LIKE button, drop your wildest classroom moment in the COMMENTS, and hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a meltdown. Share this with a stressed-out teacher friend — it might save a life. Or at least their sanity. ---
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    46 mins
  • Teacher Confessions: Friendship Breakups, Book Fair Crimes & Identity Crises | Ep. 51

    Teacher Confessions: Friendship Breakups, Book Fair Crimes & Identity Crises | Ep. 51
    Dec 1 2025
    Welcome back to The Teacher’s Lounge, the only show where classroom chaos meets unhinged comedy, and somehow we all leave feeling better about our lives. In Episode 51, the crew dives into: • Zoe’s “kid with 35-year-old energy” • Chris’s ongoing identity crisis between “Christopher” and “Chris” • Matt’s self-esteem getting destroyed by middle schoolers • Sneaky Book Fair bandits • What teachers REALLY fight about • And the question: **Why are students eating school lunch like Olympic speed-eaters?** Plus — the group breaks down the psychology of *friendship breakups*, why the talent-show era is the peak teacher-life arc, and how much teachers lie when they’re 3 hours deep into rehearsals. If you’re new: welcome to the chaos. If you’re returning: welcome home. --- 00:00 – Intro & welcome back 02:06 – Matt gets roasted by students 04:16 – Kids who look grown but act 7 04:57 – “He’s built like a Marvel character but cries like a toddler” 05:44 – The danger of being TOO honest as a teacher 06:05 – Teacher guilt when you correct the wrong kid 08:36 – The Book Fair crime ring begins 11:38 – Why teacher directions always sound like threats 12:14 – Talent show ERAS — “This is my peak!” 16:09 – Why teachers lie during rehearsals 17:00 – Kids sprinting through lunch like they’re in a contest 18:05 – Gold Star!!! 18:47 – Kids dumping best friends over pencils 19:28 – Adult friendship breakups are REAL 20:16 – Zoe’s “What’s the lesson?” moment 21:37 – Listener Q&A: “Should I move schools?” 22:44 – Teacher burnout mental math 23:28 – The wisdom: if your community sucks, LEAVE 25:27 – Trauma bonding in the teacher’s lounge 26:18 – When coworkers trauma-dump at 7 a.m. 27:11 – School lockdown drill story 29:55 – Outro and thank you --- #teachersloungepodcast #teachercomedy #teacherlife #teacherproblems #MiddleSchoolTeachers #BookFair #ClassroomStories #Teaching2025 #teacherhumor #SchoolLife #EducatorStruggles #comedypodcast #FriendshipBreakups #TalentShowDrama #EastCoastHumor #teacherburnout #classroomchaos #teachersoftiktok #teachersupport #podcastclips --- If this episode made you laugh, cry, or look at a child and think “you’re 35,” then do us a favor: 👉 **LIKE the video** 👉 **SUBSCRIBE to the channel** 👉 **DROP a comment** with the funniest thing a student has ever said to you 👉 **SHARE this episode** with a teacher who deserves a break Teachers deserve joy — thanks for letting us be part of yours. ---
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    49 mins
  • Teaching in 2025: The Kids, The Chaos & The Salmon in the Dark | Teachers Lounge Podcast - Ep 50

    Teaching in 2025: The Kids, The Chaos & The Salmon in the Dark | Teachers Lounge Podcast - Ep 50
    Nov 24 2025
    Welcome back to The Teachers Lounge Podcast, where the teachers are tired, the stories are real, and the tote bags are getting bigger by the week. This episode is pure chaos in the best way: the crew talks teacher fashion evolutions (from Dockers to Crocs), the *old-man children* known as “Gordons,” parents who take kids on vacation mid-semester, and why eating salmon straight from the can might be a cry for help…or just a normal Tuesday. Catch us live each week! We also dive into teacher cliques, test retakes, why perseverance beats talent every single time, and Chris’s wild story about playing against **Kobe Bryant** in the state championship. Yes. *Kobe Bryant.* Plus: the group debates the eternal question — *do schools need more funding, or more accountability?* If you’re new here, hit **LIKE**, **SUBSCRIBE**, and join the fastest-growing teacher comedy community online. We’re here to vent, laugh, and remind you you’re not crazy — the kids really ARE like this. --- You can skip chapters, but not classes: 00:00 – Intro & welcome back 00:55 – The Matt vs. Matthew identity crisis 02:01 – Signs a teacher has fully given up 03:49 – The tote bag conversation—your final teacher form 05:18 – Kids will commit crimes for Jolly Ranchers 06:33 – Eating salmon in the dark = teacher burnout peak 09:28 – Do teachers hang out before breaks? 12:27 – Enter the Mr. Jones Era 14:12 – Detention pick 16:45 – Gold star 18:09 – Gordon: the introverted lighthouse keeper 19:36 – Mildreds vs. Gordons 23:25 – Classroom archetypes explained 29:09 – Teaching lowering IQ — the brain drain segment 30:27 – Do test retakes raise scores? 31:24 – Perseverance over intelligence 34:32 – Playing against Kobe Bryant 38:25 – Great coaches vs. the Bobby Knight types 41:28 – The magic (and chaos) of 7th grade 49:17 – Funding vs. accountability discussion 52:16 – Sketch videos on the way 53:10 – The mission of the show 54:09 – Standup shows coming soon 54:27 – Outro and thank you --- #teachercomedy #teacherlife #educator r #middleschoollife #jollyranchers #teachertok #classroomstories #comedian #teachers #teacherstruggles #podcastclips #teacherburnout #schoolfunding #podcast #classroombehavior #educationtalks --- If this episode made you laugh, shout “GORDON!” in the comments so we know you’re one of us. 👉 Hit **LIKE**, **SUBSCRIBE**, and **SHARE** this with a teacher who needs a laugh. 👉 Drop your wildest classroom story below — we might feature it in the next episode. We genuinely appreciate you. Teachers deserve joy, and we’re here to deliver it. ---
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    55 mins
  • Middle School Mayhem, Bad Dads & ’90s Nostalgia | The Teacher’s Lounge Podcast Ep. 49

    Middle School Mayhem, Bad Dads & ’90s Nostalgia | The Teacher’s Lounge Podcast Ep. 49
    Nov 18 2025

    Welcome back to *The Teacher’s Lounge*, where three exhausted educators try to stay alive, stay sane, and laugh through the chaos that is middle school. Today’s episode dives into **asthma laughs, mucus Kleenex boss battles, bad dads, textbook company scammers, grading in 2025, big feelings, hood-side impersonators, ’90s nostalgia, father figures, and why kindergarteners ask 74 questions before lunch.** If you’ve ever: • been attacked by a rogue tissue, • argued with a 12-year-old Terminator, • wondered why textbook companies are basically cartoon villains, • taught drama to kids who refuse to pretend they’re shipwrecked, • or needed a hazmat suit during flu season… Then congrats — this episode is your emotional support animal. --- HIGHLIGHTABLE MOMENTS 00:00 – Intro & welcome back 00:29 – Middle schoolers as T-800 Terminators 01:09 – PTSD origins: kids with Takis dust 01:28 – Introductions (Chris, Matt, Joe) 02:10 – Sugar-raged after-school chaos 03:02 – Looking like a 30-year-old 5th grader 03:23 – Yu-Gi-Oh trades, Pokémon strategies & Lunchables addiction 03:45 – Kleenex of Doom sends Chris to hospice 04:39 – Teacher survival tip: never touch your face 04:59 – “Covid came from a middle school” theory 05:18 – Who’s going to detention? 15:35 – Gold Stars! 21:01 – Blockbuster nostalgia, Napster crimes & R&B classics 22:53 – GQ & hood R&B moments 23:12 – Thanking the listeners + mission of the show 23:40 – Pros & cons of grading in 2025 24:01 – Schools inflating grades vs. state test reality 25:35 – “The Conveyor Belt Education System” 26:24 – Drama class: pretend you’re stuck on an island! 27:36 – Audience question from Sally 28:20 – The GOOD side of modern grading: retakes 29:27 – The Rudy Effect 30:22 – Teaching perseverance vs. rescuing kids 30:39 – “Big feelings” in school—what’s real & what’s not 31:38 – Teachers’ health bar = Mortal Kombat 32:40 – Modeling emotional regulation 34:05 – Elementary big feelings vs. middle school big feelings 35:29 – Kindergarten questions & turtle favorite colors 36:23 – Full-circle question from AlphaJenny 37:10 – Teaching kids to think, not just memorize 38:16 – How was your week? (Part 1) 38:40 – Smaller class sizes = paradise 39:49 – Watching every pencil move 40:51 – Show rehearsals, book tour, long-distance drives 41:34 – Back in the gym arc begins 41:52 – What’s next: sketches coming soon 42:30 – Why The Teacher’s Lounge exists 43:15 – Closing thanks & much love --- #teachers #teachersloungepodcast #teacherhumor #teachertok #schoolstories #comedypodcast #middleteachers #educationreform #grading2025 #parentinghumor #classroomlife #podcasts2025 #90skids #teacherstruggles #teachersoftiktok #funnyteachersign #education #schoolcomedy #teachertalk #standupteachers --- HELP US OUT! If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or reconsider ever touching a classroom Kleenex again — **smash that Like button**, drop a comment about *your* wildest school story, and hit **Subscribe** so you don’t miss the sketches coming soon. Share this with a teacher who needs a laugh, a parent who needs a break, or a textbook company executive who needs to repent.
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    43 mins
  • Teachers Roast School Lunches, Nose Hair Crimes & The Amish Win the Internet | Ep. 48

    Teachers Roast School Lunches, Nose Hair Crimes & The Amish Win the Internet | Ep. 48
    Nov 10 2025
    Welcome back to **The Teachers Lounge** — where lesson plans die and laughter survives. This week, Matt, Chris, and Zo dive into: 👉 The *true villains* behind those square pizzas and chocolate milk “bubble guts.” 👉 Teachers vs. rogue nose hairs (and how one guy’s confidence defies grooming). 👉 Gold Stars for the *Amish* — because apparently they’re the last sane people left. 👉 Student gifts, school breakfasts, paraprofessionals who keep schools running, and how teachers secretly turn into librarians by year five. There’s a lot of heart too — from a student reconnecting with her dad during cancer treatment, to how real connection beats burnout every time. 💡 Sponsored (unofficially, but emotionally) by **LAUSD Coffee Cake™** — because every teacher deserves dessert disguised as breakfast.
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    45 mins
  • Combat Mode, Gullible Kids, and Halloween

    Combat Mode, Gullible Kids, and Halloween
    Nov 3 2025
    What’s up, EVERYBODY! 👋 Welcome back to *The Teachers Lounge Live* — where stressed-out educators gather to laugh, vent, and maybe accidentally solve the entire public education system between caffeine crashes. This week, **Matt, Chris, and Zo** dive into: * Why **drama teachers deserve combat pay** 😅 * The hilarious **“detention list”** (spoiler: charter schools catch a stray) * Parents who *believe every word their kid says* 😬 * And teachers who go **FULL HALLOWEEN MODE** 🎃— including one who showed up dressed as *Pennywise* (yikes). They also get real about burnout, accountability, and why some teachers need their own 12-step program. Plus, a sneak peek at their new **teacher comedy sketches** coming soon — from “The 8th Grader Who Looks 30” to “Substitute Survival Mode.” 🎧 **New episodes every week!** Subscribe, share, and help us keep teachers laughing instead of crying in the staff bathroom. ---
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    46 mins
  • Detention Drama, Santa Claus, and Classroom Chaos

    Detention Drama, Santa Claus, and Classroom Chaos
    Oct 27 2025
    What’s up, everybody! 🍎 Welcome to our first-ever LIVE episode of The Teacher’s Lounge — the comedy-meets-classroom podcast where educators vent, laugh, and maybe overshare a little too much. Stick with us as we push through these stages and grow together as a community. Going Live every Thursday at 7PM. This week, we kick off with eye contact etiquette at the gym, throw textbook companies into detention, debate who deserves a Gold Star, and find out that Santa Claus himself follows our show (no joke — he’s got 435K followers, y’all 🎅). We also get real about burnout, teaching tips, and classroom chaos, plus the truth about cursive, iPads, and why middle schoolers are basically tiny hurricanes with Wi-Fi. 🔥 Sponsored by absolutely no one… yet. But if Hooked on Phonics wants to slide through with “The Science of Reading” money, we’ll act like we just discovered vowels. 00:00 – Intro & welcome back 01:21 – Going LIVE for the first time 02:00 – Audience heckling & boosting the algorithm 😂 02:40 – Who’s getting detention this week? 03:00 – Textbook companies and “The Science of Reading” scam 04:09 – “Until the behavior stops!” – lifelong detention 07:55 – iPad kids and the death of eye contact 08:39 – “I just need some attention!” – uncle problems 10:37 – Comment sections are savage comedy gold 11:17 – Gold Star time 🌟 12:39 – Teachers who bring joy! Shoutouts! 15:24 – The Method Santa with 435K followers 16:33 – Why Santa is basically a teacher 19:12 – Weekly updates – upcoming shows & pancake parties 23:51 – Balancing teaching, comedy, and chaos 27:13 – High school vs middle school: which is worse? 31:49 – “Hit by a school bus every day” – teacher exhaustion 36:38 – Writing vs typing – what kids lose when they stop writing 39:04 – Teaching tips for first-year educators 44:55 – “90% of communication is nonverbal” – mic drop #teachercomedy #educatorlife #teacherhumor #livepodcast #educationcomedy If you laughed, nodded, or yelled “same!” at any point — hit that LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE button like it’s your last brain cell before parent-teacher conferences. 💥 Drop your Detention & Gold Star nominations in the comments below — who deserves a call-out this week?
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    45 mins
  • Parent Teacher Conferences Again

    Parent Teacher Conferences Again
    Oct 20 2025
    This week we had parent teacher conferences (again) we discussed the good and the bad.
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    1 hr and 1 min