Most people have no idea what sex really is and are still holding onto distorted images of it. So, today on Radical Intimacy, we are discussing six things that everyone needs to know about sex! Tuning in, you’ll hear all about sex as a state of being instead of a state of doing, why having an orgasm shouldn’t be the goal of sex, thoughts on blue balls, and so much more! We delve into why pleasure is a necessary ingredient for life before discussing what causes us to disconnect from our sexuality. We go on to explain why no one ever owes anyone sex (even in relationships), balancing that right with the sexual needs we all have, and the power of intimacy outside of the bedroom. You’ll even learn about how the nervous system shapes ‘good’ sex. Finally, we talk about the spiritual side of sex and why sex can be an awakening. This is an episode that everyone needs to listen to, so be sure to tune in now and share it with your partner and/or friends!

Key Points From This Episode:

• How knowing these six things about sex will make the world a bit better.
• Why sex isn’t something we do, it’s something we are.
• Zoë explains why orgasm is not the goal of sex.
• Why we don’t believe that blue balls are a real thing.
• Pleasure is your birthright; it is not optional!
• Where disconnection in partnership and sexuality comes from.
• Why you are not entitled to your partner’s body.
• How intimacy outside the bedroom sets relationships up for success.
• Why your nervous system needs to be relaxed to enjoy sex.
• How to help your partner regulate and soothe their nervous systems.
• Why sex can be a path to an awakening and the power of presence.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Zoë Kors

Zoë Kors on Instagram

Zoë Kors on LinkedIn

Zoë Kors on Facebook

Radical Intimacy

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

What really makes sex good? In this intimate, honest conversation, Zoë and Andrew open up about sex, presence, fantasy, and the myths that can keep us disconnected from authentic desire. They unpack why presence (not performance) defines great sex, how societal and cultural conditioning shape our sexuality, and why real intimacy thrives when we strip away self-imposed constraints. Along the way, they also explore how everyday care and affection build the foundation for a satisfying sex life in long-term relationships. Tune in for a candid, thought-provoking exploration that might just shift the way you think about sex and inspire you to have some powerful conversations of your own!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Why presence is at the heart of great sex.

• The mental noise that kills sexual connection.

• How fantasy can deepen intimacy or distract from it.

• Ways that societal norms can distort our sexual expression.

• Six influences that shape our sexuality.

• Why sex education fails us (and what’s missing).

• The unseen impact of everyday affection.

• Cultivating a climate of love and appreciation in long-term relationships.

• Self-expression versus self-suppression in intimacy.

• Insight into the paradox of personal evolution in relationships.

• The power of choosing openness and curiosity over defensiveness.

• Meeting your partner’s needs through giving, receiving, and mutual care.

Quotes:

“We're in this pleasure machinery that's driven by and symbiotic with our imaginations. Wouldn't the healthy thing be to explore that?” — Zoë Kors [0:10:47]

“[Societal norms] are obstacles that are being piled up between two people who are trying to become more intimate and more present.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:11:41]

“What makes sex good in a long-term committed partnership is the constant cultivation of a climate in which both partners feel loved, appreciated, seen, [and] desired. ” — Zoë Kors [0:22:49]

“Relationship is the boot camp of self-realization.” — Zoë Kors [0:28:34]

“Strive to be better. Strive for constant and never-ending improvement.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:31:08]

“Sometimes, receiving is giving to the other person.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:42:00]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

S1E8: Rewrite Your Sex Script with Dr. Ian Kerner

The Intimacy Lab: Zoë Kors Substack

Zoë Kors

Andrew Rothmund

Radical Intimacy

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Today’s Radical Intimacy episode is all about forging through the fire of pain and suffering to emerge stronger than steel and with enhanced emotional intelligence. To lay the foundation of our discussion, Zoë opens up about her recent oral surgery and how that experience forced her to remember even darker days as a student with lymphoma. She begins by describing her recent health challenges and how her bout with cancer when she was in university still affects her today, before explaining her protocol for processing heavy emotions. She unpacks meditation, the mind-body connection, how to overcome trauma cycles, and how physical healing correlates to its emotional counterpart. Then, it’s Andrew’s turn as he details his Stoicism and Zen-informed emotional healing process. We also examine the dangers of resisting pain, the joys of embracing it, and why pain is ultimately the best teacher. To end, we learn why samurai sword-making is akin to emotional healing, and Zoë and Andrew share advice for how to navigate trauma as a couple.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Zoë opens up about her recent health challenges.

• The ins and outs of her oral surgery and the healing complications thereafter.

• How the treatment of her lymphoma when she was 20 influences how she heals today.

• The way Zoë processes overwhelming emotions, especially during her journey with cancer.

• Meditation, the mind-body connection, and overcoming cycles of pain.

• Comparing how her gums healed post-surgery to how we emotionally recover from trauma.

• Stoicism and Zen: Unpacking Andrew’s emotional healing process.

• The dangers of being in denial and resisting versus the joys of embracing your pain.

• What we can learn from Richard Schwartz’s book, No Bad Parts.

• Why healing hurts and why pain is the best teacher.

• What the process of making a samurai sword teaches us about forging through pain.

• How to process emotions as a couple.

Quotes:

“When it comes to emotional processing, I find that I’ve had to really train you, [Andrew], and teach you, and tell you instant by instant what I need.” — Zoë Kors [0:10:48]

“I think that I’ve battled my entire adult life. From the time of 20 years old, it’s just [been] powering through.” — Zoë Kors [0:11:39]

“I have felt for a while now, maybe five or six or seven years, that I have some unfinished emotional work or trauma work around having had cancer and gone through that treatment and that experience.” — Zoë Kors [0:11:54]

“Stoicism, especially with the ancient philosophers, it was about not being controlled by your emotions. Not resisting them, but observing them [and] feeling them, [and knowing] my emotions don’t run my life. I run my life” — Andrew Rothmund [0:18:28]

“There’ve been a few times where if my emotions had hair, they would have been on fire. My emotions would’ve been through the streets screaming and wailing until I got a handle on [them].” — Andrew Rothmund [0:19:07]

“My thoughts don’t identify me. My feelings don’t identify me. I am the observer of both.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:19:46]

“To end suffering, you have to acknowledge it exists and you have to accept it.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:29:43]

“Pain is the best teacher. I mean, the most effective teacher – a lot of growth comes from pain.” — Zoë Kors [0:32:46]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sir Rucifer