Episodes

  • 4.01: A portrait of the vampyre ... from 1698! — The artist sees a ghost, and sketches her. — Varney the Vampyre continues pestering his neighbours. — A strange prize-fight in milady's boudoir!

    4.01: A portrait of the vampyre ... from 1698! — The artist sees a ghost, and sketches her. — Varney the Vampyre continues pestering his neighbours. — A strange prize-fight in milady's boudoir!
    Oct 19 2025
    Episode 1 of a new season! With new bed music and more ghost stories!03:55: VARNEY, THE VAMPYRE; OR, THE FEAST OF BLOOD (1845), Ch. 22; In which —Henry, Charles, Mr. Marchdale, and Admiral Bell sit down for a planning meeting to decide what to do about Varney and Bannerworth Hall. They have just about decided to sell or rent it to Varney, but the idea of doing so under duress sticks in everyone’s craw a bit. Then Charles asks Henry to hold off for three days so that he can undertake some sort of plan, but he won’t say what it is. What can he have in mind? Is it some rash plan to challenge the vampire? If so, will he survive the encounter?20:50: THE TOWN IN AN UPROAR (broadsheet ballad from 1829):Tells the story of "a Grand Boxing Match, between a young Lady, and her Maid, for the sake of the handsome young Coachman, both of them being in Love with him; Together with a merry Song."29:59: REMARKABLE PREDICTION (article from The Terrific Register magazine):Tells of Jonathan Pyrah, who during the Thirty Years War took to prophecy and made some singular predictions which came strictly true, then returned to England and went mad.33:35: CARMILLA, by J.S. Le Fanu (1871), Part 4 of 9. IN WHICH:—A picture cleaner comes to the castle with a load of family heirlooms belonging to Laura’s mother’s Hungarian family, which her father had sent away to be cleaned. One of them is a dead-on likeness of Carmilla, but the tag on the frame reads “Mircalla Countess Karnstein, 1698.” Everyone agrees it’s an amazing coincidence that Carmilla looks so exactly like the picture. — That night, Laura has another nightmare … but is it really just a nightmare? Or something more sinister?PLUS —An artist sees a ghost — and asks her to sit for a portrait!We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!Join host Corinthian Finn, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John 18th Baron Dunwitch,* for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:HIGH FLYERS: Well-dressed landowners and respectable gentlemen.NATTY NABOBS: Nabobs were bigwigs who have made a fortune overseas and come home. "Natty" meant neat and tidy.KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok by moonlight in fields and ditches, trying to stagger home.CORINTHIAN: A sporting man of rank and fashion. Word is best known for its use by author Pierce Egan for his character "Corinthian Tom" — the "Tom" half of "Tom and Jerry."CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.FLICKER: Drinking-glass used for gin.HOLY WATER: Gin.JOLTER HEADS: Dull, blustering landlord.DANDIPRATS: Insignificant or trifling fellows.GRETNA GREEN: A Scottish town famous as a destination for lovers to elope to for matrimonial purposes. Scotland's marriage laws were less strict than English laws.VADE MECUM: Latin for "hand book."RED WAISTCOAT: Uniform apparel of the Bow-street Runners, an early London police force replaced by the New Model Police (who dressed in blue rather than red) in 1839.GAMMONERS: Swindlers or bullshitters.ROMONERS: Gammoners who pretend to have occult powers.OLD ST. GILES: The most famous slum parish of London, also called "The Holy Land"DUNWICH, Town Of (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea; only a few streets and houses remainDUNWITCH, Barony Of (note the "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.DUNSANY, Barony Of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany, one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors.RUM TE TUM WITH THE CHILL OFF: Most emphatically excellent.
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    1 hr
  • 3.27: The ballet-girl saved from A Fate Worse than Death! — Faithless captain is stabbed by his fiancee. — A heavy price for making fun of the Royal family! (A Ha'penny Horrors 'Hursday minisode)

    3.27: The ballet-girl saved from A Fate Worse than Death! — Faithless captain is stabbed by his fiancee. — A heavy price for making fun of the Royal family! (A Ha'penny Horrors 'Hursday minisode)
    Oct 16 2025

    A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

    0:02:15: THE BLACK BAND, Chapter 22:

    • IN WHICH:— Ballet dancer Clara Melville, seeing Sir Frederick Beaumorris’s valet arriving with his traveling-things, is plunged into despair. Meanwhile, Sir Frederick is very pleased with himself, and looking forward to the conquest of breaking Clara’s spirit, right after dinner. He is on his way down to the table when who should make an unexpected appearance but Colonel Oscar Bertrand! What is he doing there? And what are Clara’s chances of getting out of this — stuck in a chateau in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country at the mercy of — not one, but TWO such thundering rogues?


    0:25:30: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY (from "Dickens' Dreadful Almanac"):

    • A little joking horseplay with what they thought was an unloaded antique blunderbuss hanging on the wall turned into a dreadful and fatal accident, 174 years ago today.


    0:27:10: CRUEL AND INHUMAN MURDER COMMITTED UPON THE BODY OF CAPT. LAWSON: (street broadside)

    • A broadsheet printed up telling the story of a maiden whose fiance, after throwing her over for a richer bride, tried to force her to give him back the letters he'd written her ... and she defended herself with a carving-knife. (The headline on this one is misleading.)


    0:22:36: EXCESSIVE PUNISHMENT FOR A TRIFLING EXPRESSION:

    • A story of the Bad Old Days of the Thirty Years War, in the late 1640s, when a Catholic gentleman's joke at the expense of Stuart Princess Elizabeth (who had married the king of Bohemia) prompted Parliament to impose an outrageous punishment upon him for daring to make fun of the precious royal family.


    Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!


    GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

    • HABERDASHERS: Smugglers of liquor.
    • BITS OF MUSLIN: Pretty girls.
    • KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
    • CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
    • CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
    • SHERRY OFF: To run away at top speed. Adopted from the nautical term "to sheer off."
    • CULLS: Mildly disparaging term for men.
    • DOWN TO: Wised-up about, aware of.
    • FAKEMENT: Plot or scheme.
    • BUMS: Bailiffs.
    • CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
    • THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
    • PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was in Paddington parish.
    • DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
    • DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
    • DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany (Lord Dunsany), one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors and a major influence upon his work.
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    43 mins
  • 3.26: Evil Count Lerno's gang thirsts for young Edgar's blood! — A slightly-naughty early-Victorian song, and a few dirty jokes (a Twopenny Torrid Tuesday minisode)

    3.26: Evil Count Lerno's gang thirsts for young Edgar's blood! — A slightly-naughty early-Victorian song, and a few dirty jokes (a Twopenny Torrid Tuesday minisode)
    Oct 14 2025

    A spicy (-ish) Tuesday Twopenny Torrid minisode IN WHICH —

    0:01:50: THE BALLET-GIRL'S REVENGE, Chapter 10, IN WHICH —:

    • We cut back to poor Edgar DeVille, who is being marched at pistol-point by the count into an inner chamber at the house, surrounded by the bloodthirsty ruffians in his gang of coiners and counterfeiters. A trap door opens in the floor before him, disclosing a deep well, in which obviously his body is to be thrown. The gang members want him killed on the spot. Can he change their minds? Is this the end for poor young Edgar?


    0:22:30: BROADSIDE STREET BALLAD:

    • "Courting in the Kitchen." When the lord of the manor came home, our lusty young swain found himself thrown under the hackney-coach by his erstwhile ladyfriend, the boss's kitchen maid, and draws six months on the Brixton treadmill!


    0:24:50: A SALACIOUS SALOON SONG:

    • "The Ploughman and the Priest." When a newlywed ploughman finds himself unable to take care of his matrimonial duties, the town's parson steps in to help out!


    0:30:20: THREE VICTORIAN-AGE DIRTY JOKES.

    • From "The Chestnut Club."


    Join host Corinthian Finn, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John, for a half-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a decanter and top off your glass, unload your stumps, and let's go!

    GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

    • ACK PIRATES: Thieves who specialize in swiping cargo from riverboats and barges.
    • ARCH DOXIES: Spirited, audacious, possibly dangerous ladies.
    • KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
    • CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
    • CHICKSTERS: Flamboyant ladies, often prostitutes
    • LADYBIRDS: Another term for chicksters
    • BULLY ROCKS: Brothel muscle men
    • ABBESS: Brothel madam
    • MOTHER H: A famous abbess from the 1830s
    • BOLT THE MOON: Fly by night
    • BEAKS: Magistrates and judges
    • BODY SNATCHERS: Police officers. (Actual body snatchers were called "resurrection-men.")
    • DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
    • DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
    • DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.
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    33 mins
  • 3.25: How the lovely Diana Arlington was ruined. — The vampire stalks abroad by night! — Prosecuted by a ghost?!

    3.25: How the lovely Diana Arlington was ruined. — The vampire stalks abroad by night! — Prosecuted by a ghost?!
    Oct 12 2025
    Episode 25 of Season Three! — A Sunday-evening full episode!01:00: AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT OR TWO.06:10: THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON (1843), Ch. 10; In which —We cut back to Mrs. Arlington’s pad. Richard Markham is a regular guest, and is well on his way to falling in love with her. Then one day, she realizes how deep his feelings have become and, warning him that she is unworthy of him, tells him her story — how she went from being a respectable girl, to a kept mistress… and who it was that seduced her from the straight and narrow, and into a “life of sin.”20:00: THE ACCUSING SPIRIT (article from The Terrific Register magazine):Tells the story of a man who was prosecuted and nearly convicted of murder based on the testimony of the murder-victim's ghost, as related to his widow by a neighbor, and how a clever judge figured out what was really going on in time to save an innocent man from an untimely scragging.24:00: CARMILLA, by J.S. Le Fanu (1871), Part 3 of 9. IN WHICH:—We see how Laura and Carmilla get along together. And it’s definitely weird. Carmilla’s affection for Laura has a distinctly sapphic quality, although of course nothing sexual happens. Meanwhile, young ladies and girls around the neighborhood are starting to die of some mysterious wasting illness … PLUS —We explore a "broadside ballad" published circa 1835 called "Allowed to be Drunk on the Premises," lamenting a particularly unfortunate law passed by Parliament (from a temperance perspective).We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!EPISODE ART is from The Mysteries of London, and depicts the visit of Richard Markham to the home of Diana Arlington at which she tells him the story of her reputational ruin.Join host Corinthian Finn, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John 18th Baron Dunwitch,* for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:GENTRY COVES: Well-dressed landowners and respectable gentlemen.ELBOW SHAKERS: Gamblers who play dice games.KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok by moonlight in fields and ditches, trying to stagger home.CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.CLANKER: Pewter drinking-pot.HEAVY WET: Strong beer.IRON DOUBLETS: Parsons and preachers.TOWN TABBIES: Respectable and straight-laced older ladies.JOE MILLER: A famous Shakespearean player from the 1700s who was famous for being a stone-face deadpan actor. As an inside joke, his name was used for the collection of wisecracks that bears his name.VADE MECUM: Latin for "hand book."RED WAISTCOAT: Uniform apparel of the Bow-street Runners, an early London police force replaced by the New Model Police (who dressed in blue rather than red) in 1839.GAMMONERS: Swindlers or bullshitters.ROMONERS: Gammoners who pretend to have occult powers.OLD ST. GILES: The most famous slum parish of London, also called "The Holy Land"CORINTHIAN: A sporting man of rank and fashion. Word is best known for its use by author Pierce Egan for his character "Corinthian Tom" — the "Tom" half of "Tom and Jerry."DUNWICH, Town Of (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea; only a few streets and houses remainDUNWITCH, Barony Of (note the "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.DUNSANY, Barony Of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany, one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors.RUM TE TUM WITH THE CHILL OFF: Most emphatically excellent.
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    55 mins
  • 3.24: Sir Richard learns to his horror what's in Mrs. Lovett's pies! — A horrid tragedy at the Gosford coal-mine. — Two tragic ends for two young lads. (A Ha'penny Horrors 'Hursday minisode)

    3.24: Sir Richard learns to his horror what's in Mrs. Lovett's pies! — A horrid tragedy at the Gosford coal-mine. — Two tragic ends for two young lads. (A Ha'penny Horrors 'Hursday minisode)
    Oct 10 2025

    A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

    0:02:05: SWEENEY TODD, THE BARBER OF FLEET-STREET, Chapter 59:

    • IN WHICH:— We return to the scene of Sir Richard Blunt in Mrs. Lovett’s pie shop. Once Mrs. Lovett has gone to bed, he slips down the stairs on which he followed her to see if he can learn anything more about the voice that answered her from the room below. He arrives just in time to stop the captive cook from doing something very rash … and is then rewarded with quite an earful about Mrs. Lovett’s business model!


    0:17:15: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY (from "Dickens' Dreadful Almanac"):

    • An account of the tragic and untimely deaths of two young lads of about 7 or 8: one in a grisly industrial accident, the other at the brutal hands of a 12-year-old murderer with a bill-hook (a sort of hook-shaped machete).


    0:18:20: THE LAMENTABLE ACCIDENT, WHICH TOOK PLACE AT GOSFORT PIT:

    • A broadside elegy printed up in the aftermath of a horrific explosion in a Yorkshire coal-mine in 1825, which took the lives of 30 men and boys and injured scores more.


    0:22:36: THE ROBBER BY NECESSITY:

    • An uncharacteristically uplifting account of the redemption of a poor shoemaker, forced by hunger to turn to robbery, at the hands of one of his former victims. From The Terrific Register (1825). Yeah, I know, it's Horrors 'Hursday; but come on, we've just had two stories about dead children. I think we've earned this little ray of hopeful sunlight.


    Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!


    GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

    • BLACK SHARKS: Lawyers.
    • BODY SNATCHERS: Magistrates, thief-takers and police officers.
    • KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
    • CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
    • CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
    • SHERRY OFF: To run away at top speed. Adopted from the nautical term "to sheer off."
    • FLATS: Innocent, not-too-smart persons who are duped by "sharps." In other words, suckers.
    • BUMS: Bailiffs.
    • CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
    • THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
    • PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was in Paddington parish.
    • DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
    • DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
    • DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany (Lord Dunsany), one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors and a major influence upon his work.
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    34 mins
  • 3.23: Highwaymen Dick Turpin and Tom King at the barbaric inquest. — A slightly-naughty early-Victorian song, and a few dirty jokes (a Twopenny Torrid Tuesday minisode)

    3.23: Highwaymen Dick Turpin and Tom King at the barbaric inquest. — A slightly-naughty early-Victorian song, and a few dirty jokes (a Twopenny Torrid Tuesday minisode)
    Oct 7 2025

    A spicy (-ish) Tuesday Twopenny Torrid minisode IN WHICH —

    0:01:50: BLACK BESS (starring Highwayman Dick Turpin), IN WHICH —:

    • CHAPTER 23: Turpin and King arrive at the Hand and Keys Inn as the sun is coming up — just in time — and wake up the ostler to get their horses stabled and cared for. Tom Davis sets out a big breakfast for them. And Dick once again sets to thinking … how is he going to get Black Bess back?
    • CHAPTER 24: We learn that the inquest is to be held on the old steward’s son, who shot himself in Room 8 at the Hand and Keys. Turpin reconnects with Ellen, and, while making sure she is happy at the Hand and Keys, tells her he feels that “my rescue of you from A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH is a good action in my life that will outweigh many of the bad ones I have done.” Then he prepares to hide out while the inquest is held.


    0:22:30: BROADSIDE STREET BALLAD:

    • "The Barber of Seville." Don't be fooled, though — when the REAL Barber of Seville came out in Paris, it became an instant classic. So a Salisbury-square printer, hoping to cash in but not knowing the first thing about The Barber of Seville beyond the title, commissioned one of his house hacks to dash off a poem about a barber in Seville, and put it out there to cash in! It's pretty bad, but the story is funny and the art is great.
    • "Gentle Annie," an elegy sung for the memory of a love lost to Death's cruel hand, which if you like you can sing to the tune of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.


    0:24:50: A SALACIOUS SALOON SONG:

    • "The Troubles of a Pair of Breeches," a humourous and ribald account in song of an evening on which the singer got so very drunk that his breeches started talking to him and told their life story.


    0:30:20: THREE VICTORIAN-AGE DIRTY JOKES.

    • From "The Chestnut Club."


    Join host Corinthian Finn, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John, for a half-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a decanter and top off your glass, unload your stumps, and let's go!

    GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

    • JACK PUDDINGS: Funny fellows, jolly companions.
    • HIGH FLYERS: Spirited, audacious, possibly dangerous ladies.
    • KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
    • CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
    • CHICKSTERS: Flamboyant ladies, often prostitutes
    • LADYBIRDS: Another term for chicksters
    • BULLY ROCKS: Brothel muscle men
    • ABBESS: Brothel madam
    • MOTHER H: A famous abbess from the 1830s
    • BOLT THE MOON: Fly by night
    • BEAKS: Magistrates and judges
    • GET FLY TO THE FAKEMENT: Get wise to a swindle that's being perpetrated.
    • DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
    • DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
    • DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.
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    37 mins
  • 3.22: The aftermath of the dreadful vampyre's visit! — A face from a sinister childhood dream ... or was it? — What the bumps on your head say about YOU.

    3.22: The aftermath of the dreadful vampyre's visit! — A face from a sinister childhood dream ... or was it? — What the bumps on your head say about YOU.
    Oct 5 2025
    Episode 22 of Season Three! — A Sunday-evening full episode!02:00: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE (1844), Ch. 21. In which —Admiral Bell is absolutely convinced, in spite of himself, and enthusiastically proclaims himself Team Flora. Then a scream rings out. The vampire has visited once again! They run for Flora’s room. Will she be OK? And can they catch the hideous vampire before he makes his escape from the house?21:40: LET'S BASE HIRING DECISIONS ON PHRENOLOGY! (Satirical article from Punch Magazine):Written just about the time the average person was starting to realize "head-bump-ology" was a pseudoscientific joke, this comedic article suggests some ways phrenological insights could be used to make sure public servants are well suited to their jobs.27:00: CARMILLA, by J.S. Le Fanu (1871), Part 2 of 9. IN WHICH:—Laura cannot wait to meet the new friend whom fortune has thrown upon her household. The servants are charmed by her, and speak very warmly of her; but the are a little freaked out by the glimpses they had of the other members of her traveling party. Finally the doctor comes and looks the new girl over and pronounces her fit to receive company. Laura needs no second invitation, but races upstairs at once, and finds — the girl from her dream, twelve years before!PLUS —We explore a "broadside ballad" published circa 1835 called "The Prigging Overseers," celebrating the arrest and imprisonment of the Overseer of the Poor at St. Pancras' Parish for stealing from the collections.We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!EPISODE ART is cover art for an episode of The Phrenological Journal and Science of Health, published circa 1840.GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:WOODPECKERS: Punster, joker, or word-play artist.RUM BOGGIES: Good sports.KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok by moonlight in fields and ditches, trying to stagger home.CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.BUMPER: A glass of liquor filled to the absolute brim. Often used in the context of draining one's entire glass in a toast, leaving no dregs ("no heel taps").RED TAPE: Brandy.BADGE COVES: Parish pensioners who were issued a badge that gave them license to supplement their pensions by begging.LAMBSKIN MEN: Judges.PRIGGING: Stealing.CRINOLINE: A steel-cage-reinforced hoop skirt worn by ladies, or slang reference to a gaol cell.PICKING OAKUM: Work given to prisoners, a tedious unraveling of the fibers of old worn-out ropes to make oakum for chinking ships' hulls.BLACKSMITH'S DAUGHTER: Fetters or manacles.JOE MILLER: A famous Shakespearean player from the 1700s who was famous for being a stone-face deadpan actor. As an inside joke, his name was used for the collection of wisecracks that bears his name.VADE MECUM: Latin for "hand book."RED WAISTCOAT: Uniform apparel of the Bow-street Runners, an early London police force replaced by the New Model Police (who dressed in blue rather than red) in 1839.GAMMONERS: Swindlers or bullshitters.ROMONERS: Gammoners who pretend to have occult powers.OLD ST. GILES: The most famous slum parish of London, also called "The Holy Land"DUNWICH, Town Of (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea; only a few streets and houses remainDUNWITCH, Barony Of (note the "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.DUNSANY, Barony Of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany, one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors.RUM TE TUM WITH THE CHILL OFF: Most emphatically excellent.
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    56 mins
  • 3.21: Kidnapped and spirited away to a distant castle! — The scaffold at one of Her Majesty's gaols. — Horrors of a medieval marriage. (A Ha'penny Horrors half-hour minisode)

    3.21: Kidnapped and spirited away to a distant castle! — The scaffold at one of Her Majesty's gaols. — Horrors of a medieval marriage. (A Ha'penny Horrors half-hour minisode)
    Oct 2 2025

    A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

    0:02:00: THE BLACK BAND; OR, THE COMPANIONS OF MIDNIGHT, Chapter 21:

    • IN WHICH:— We return to Clara Melville at the theatre. Reginald Faulkner has been wooing her for some time now, sending flowers every night, and eventually sending her a packet of books. We know a formalization of their relationship cannot be far distant … but then one day, as she is walking home, she is forcibly scooped up by a pair of rough-looking men in a carriage and hurried off to Calais. One of them tells her she has a rich maiden aunt who has ordered her kidnapped and brought to her, to settle her vast estate upon her. And, being young and naïve, Clara believes him … should she? We shall see.


    0:16:15: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY (from "Dickens' Dreadful Almanac"):

    • An account of an unsuccessful attempt at a garrote robbery.


    0:18:20: BEAUTIFUL VENICE; THE SCAFFOLD; CHARMING MAY.

    • A broadside printed up in 1835 with three ballads printed on it, differing hilariously in tone.


    0:22:36: THE SANGUINARY REVENGE:

    • A truly horrible account of the sufferings of Madame la Comtesse de Chateaubriand, caught up in a personal power struggle between King Francis I and her coldly murderous husband. From The Terrific Register (1825).


    Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

    GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

    • HIGH PADS: Highway robbers who work on foot rather than mounted on horseback.
    • CRACKSMEN: Housebreakers or burglars.
    • KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
    • CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
    • CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
    • SHERRY OFF: To run away at top speed. Adopted from the nautical term "to sheer off."
    • FLATS: Innocent, not-too-smart persons who are duped by "sharps." In other words, suckers.
    • BUMS: Bailiffs.
    • CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
    • THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
    • PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was in Paddington parish.
    • DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
    • DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
    • DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.
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    36 mins