Episode 10 of Season Three! — A Sunday-evening full episode (which I goofed and set to publish a day early) IN WHICH —

01:50: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 18:

• In this chapter, Flora relaxes in her new, as-yet-uncontaminated-by-a-vampire room and tries to distract herself with a novel. Then she hears a soft footstep approaching the door ...

33:50: TERRIFIC REGISTER ARTICLE:

• We learn of three women buried by a winter's avalanche in the Alps, who were found alive when the snows melted the next spring!

42:10: THE VAMPYRE, by J.S. LeFanu:

• In which we learn the source of the ghostly footsteps padding down the stairs at 2 a.m. ... and we hear Tom's account of why he left the Aungier Street mansion so suddenly: he was convinced his life was in immediate peril, from a recurring vision of an evil-faced old man clutching a knotted rope... This is Part 2 of 3 parts (Part 3 will come next Sunday).

PLUS —

• We explore a "broadside ballad" published in 1850: "The Young Sailor Bold and The Unfortunate Shepherdess" ...

• We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

EPISODE ART is from Varney the Vampyre, and shows a scene from a novel Flora is reading to distract herself from the threat of the vampire.

A half-hour- long 'Hursday Horrors Minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:25: THE BLACK BAND, Ch. 18 and 19, IN WHICH —:

• In Chapter 18, after Mrs. Montmorenci leaves, Mr. Lucas is doing some paperwork when a black-clad figure steps up behind and puts a hand on his shoulder. An Executioner of the Order! But this is no ordinary Executioner; it’s Colonel Oscar Bertrand himself! Lucas’s son-in-law, the man who stole his daughter from him! He snatches up a pistol from his desk — the room is filled with smoke and noise …

• Then in Chapter 19, we turn back to Clara Melville, dancing her way into the hearts of everyone at the ballet company. One evening Reginald Falkner reintroduces himself, to her delight, and the following evening he sends her flowers. She is well on her way to being in love with him. But old Sir Frederick Beaumorris seems to feel he has called dibs on her … a showdown is brewing!

0:25:15: TRIGGER WARNING!

• This is a Ha'penny Horrid 'Hursday episode. "Horrid" as in "horror." Thursday is the day we do all the grimdark, grisly, horrifying stories, starting right after the chapter of the daily Dreadful! So: If murders, war crimes, parricides, and other awful stuff are not something you are interested in hearing about, even 200 years later — you should skip to the next podcast in your queue after the Dreadful finishes up. Don't worry, we'll be back this coming Sunday for the regular Penny Dreadful Variety Hour, when this podcast will be back to being a bright, sunny romp through Penny Dreadful stories!

0:27:15: AN ACCOUNT OF THE CONDUCT AND EXECUTION of JAMES WINTER (an execution broadside).

• Today’s broadside tells of the execution of James Winter, alias Reuben Martin, on Dec. 10, 1827. Winter was a robber, who tried to ply his trade on a man who was attending a sale at The Yorkshire Grey public house in Colchester. The uh, transaction — the robbery, not the sale — apparently wasn’t going well, because it attracted the attention of the landlord, Thomas Patrick, who started loudly calling for a constable. Apparently wanting to silence him, Winter clobbered him with a heavy board, but he overdid it and the blow was a fatal one.

0:23:25: THE TERRIFIC REGISTER:

• An awful, and mercifully short, description of the punishment of the "knout," a sort of vicious lacerating whip, in czarist Russia.

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

A "spicy" (-ish) Tuesday Twopenny Torrid minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:30: ROSE MORTIMER; or, THE BALLET-GIRL'S REVENGE, Ch. 7, IN WHICH —:

• Back at Mrs. Halliday’s house, Rose tries to rest and recover from the terrors of the night and repair her tattered ballet-dress in time for rehearsals. The dress is done just in time, and luckily there is a cab right outside the house. But wait — who is the man waiting with the driver? And why is the cab going so fast and reckless through the foggy streets to — the theatre? Somewhere else? We shall see!

0:17:41: TWO SALACIOUS SALOON SONGS:

• "Will You Sleep With Me, My Dear," which must have been like the Victorian-age equivalent of Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk" ... remember that one? We earn our Explicit tag with this one!
• "Those London Mots." A short song singing the praises of the working girls of the Old Metrop. In the early-Victorian the word "mot" was very close to the modern slang word "ho" — it didn't always mean a prostitute, but in this context it did.

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a decanter and top off your glass, unload your stumps, and let's go!