“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

Today: Arrrrrrr you ready for some pirate songs? As Spring Break winds up... why is Mike at Wal-Mart before sunrise? It must have to do with the human condition. A major fart revelation... and Robb has a SPY REPORT. Beware of El Diablo!

It's time to "Guess the Ailment"... NOW what's wrong with Robb? Mike hates the TACO people, but loves Peaky Blinders. Josh binges the dating shows and YOU get to play along in the new "Choose Your News" segment. Plus, a warning about what your kids could be watching... and it is insidious,

Tony Perkins (of TV News fame) joins us today to discuss his new podcast: "You Gotta Be Kidding Me". He and Mike were classmates, so that's nice. It's time to play "Musical Appliances (do you slide your pots?). Robb is feeling better... which means he's shot out of a cannon. When do you start getting forgetful... and do the magic memory potions actually work? (They do if you remember to take them). It's more fun than ten pounds of tears!

Why, oh why, is Josh in the Emergency Room... was he playing hooky? Mike tells us his "sugar cheats" (be sweet!) and we get down to brass tacks on grammar that matters. Plus? A visit with the Metrorail conductor.

"Everybody gets their feelings hurt. Some people need to get their feelings hurt sometimes.”

It's Holy Week and it's Maunday/Holy Thursday... so let's have the EGGS. Yes, today is what you have been waiting for... THE EGGTACULAR! Mike and Josh and Robb, cracking dozens of raw eggs on their heads, because you asked for it! Plus, Mike the cook, SCTV, the casino algorithm, men in war, and "faith is good". Now, please hand me that towel.

We offer you no pranks per se... but we do discuss pranks of the past and the "Fool's Rules". You can play head-games with a pitcher. Why is it fun to lie? Why is Josh at an Art Show? Robb recommends things to avoid... and remember 12 to a box.