In this final episode of The Messy Middle Six Keys series, we’re closing with the key that changes everything: Abuse Dynamics Education.

If you’ve ever wondered why you still doubt yourself… Why therapy, books, or “doing the work” hasn’t fully set you free… Or why a part of you still feels hooked to someone who treated you like shit…

This episode is for you.

We’re talking about the hidden mechanics of emotional and narcissistic abuse. Not surface-level red flags, but the real operating system behind manipulation, gaslighting, coercive control, and psychological warfare.

You’ll learn:

• Why abuse is not about anger or miscommunication, but power and control
• How coercive control works so quietly you often don’t see it until years later
• The most common abuse tactics and how they show up in real life
• Why you didn’t see it sooner and why that does not make you weak, naïve, or stupid
• How manipulation turns into your inner voice and how to start separating what’s yours from what was injected into you

This episode also includes a grounding, body-based validation exercise to help you stop gaslighting yourself and reconnect with what your nervous system has always known.

Because healing isn’t just about becoming more regulated, more forgiving, or more understanding.

Sometimes healing is about realizing:

This wasn’t yours to fix.
This was done to you.
And once you can name the game, you stop playing it.

If you’re ready to reclaim your power, rebuild self-trust, and finally answer the question “Is this always going to happen to me?” with a solid no, this episode will land.

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
And that’s where real freedom begins.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

If you’ve ever wondered why boundaries feel impossible, why you keep going back, or why your body reacts before your mind can catch up, I made this episode for you.

If you’ve done the therapy, read the books, understand the patterns of abuse, manipulation, or people pleasing, and yet your body still freezes, fawns, shuts down, or betrays you at the exact moment you need it most, this episode is for you.

This is a deep dive into somatics and energetics, and why trauma doesn’t live in your thoughts. It lives in your body, your breath, your nervous system, and your energetic field.

In this episode:

• I talk about why you can’t logic your way out of trauma, why insight alone isn’t enough, and why your body is not broken or failing you.
• I share personal stories from my own journey, including the moments when my body knew the truth long before my mind could cope with it.
• We explore why freeze, collapse, people pleasing, and panic are not character flaws, but intelligent survival responses, and how changing the questions you ask yourself can shift everything.

I also guide you through gentle, practical somatic and energetic exercises you can do with me, including:

• Taking your nervous system and energetic pulse
• Learning to listen to sensation instead of overriding it
• Feeling and strengthening your energetic boundaries
• Releasing emotional and energetic residue you’ve been carrying that isn’t yours

This is not about forcing yourself to be more confident, more assertive, or more healed. You cannot bully your nervous system into safety. Healing happens when you meet your body with curiosity, respect, and compassion.

Your body is not the problem. It’s the portal.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

Let’s talk about boundaries. The real kind. Not the affirmations you repeat in the mirror and then immediately override when someone pushes. I mean lived boundaries. The ones you feel in your body before they ever become words.

In this episode of The Messy Middle, I’m unpacking why boundaries feel so uncomfortable, scary, and even dangerous for so many of us, especially if you grew up without them, were punished for having them, or survived narcissistic abuse, coercive control, high-conflict relationships, or lifelong people-pleasing.

I share why boundaries aren’t a communication problem, they’re a survival strategy. Why your chest tightens, your hands go cold, or your voice disappears when you try to speak up. And why that doesn’t mean you’re bad at boundaries. It means your nervous system learned how to keep you safe in environments where saying no came with consequences.

We talk about:

• Why setting boundaries often costs you relationships and why I wish someone had warned me
• How abuse, emotional neglect, and patriarchal conditioning train your body to fear saying no
• Why “off-the-shelf” boundary advice doesn’t work for trauma-trained systems
• How your nervous system and neuroception drive boundary responses
• Why boundaries start in the body, not the mouth
• The difference between external boundaries and the powerful boundaries you set with yourself

I also guide you through simple somatic practices you can use right now, including a body-based boundary exercise and the yes/no compass to help you reconnect with your inner truth and learn what your body’s yes and no actually feel like.

You didn’t fail at boundaries. You learned to survive without them. And now, we get to gently teach your system something new.

Start small. Start where your body feels safest. And let this be the beginning of coming home to yourself.

Sending you lots of love. Tune in, and I’ll meet you there.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

In this episode of The Messy Middle, I’m diving into intuition and why so many of us learned not to trust it, fear it, or shut it down completely.

If you’ve experienced emotional abuse, gaslighting, narcissistic relationships, chronic people-pleasing, or high-control dynamics, there’s a good chance your intuition wasn’t just ignored, it was actively dismissed, minimized, or punished. Over time, that teaches you to second-guess your own knowing and disconnect from your body altogether.

I talk about how...

• How intuition is not woo-woo or mystical. It’s biological. It lives in your nervous system, in your body, in that quiet, steady knowing that doesn’t shout but also doesn’t go away'
• Trauma can blur the line between intuition and hypervigilance, making it hard to tell the difference between fear and truth;
• I also share my own experiences, including how intuition showed up for me around betrayal and cheating long before I had proof, and what it felt like in my body when I ignored it versus when I finally listened.
• We explore what intuition actually feels like, how it differs from anxiety, why society teaches women to demand evidence for their inner knowing, and how to gently rebuild trust with yourself after years of self-gaslighting.
• There’s also a guided somatic exercise in this episode to help you reconnect with your body’s yes and no, so you can start recognizing intuition again in a way that feels safe, grounded, and accessible.

Your intuition isn’t broken. Neither are you. It’s been there the whole time, waiting to be invited back into the conversation.

If you’re ready to stop outsourcing your knowing and start trusting yourself again, this episode is for you.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

This episode is personal. It’s a little dark, a little tender, and honestly one of the more vulnerable things I have put 'out there'.

TRIGGER WARNING - In this episode, I talk about domestic violence, abuse, trauma, and the ripple effects of generational harm. If you need to skip this one to protect your nervous system, I fully support that.

Thirty years ago, my dad died. Not the stepdad who raised me for most of my life, but my biological father, whose story is woven with violence, patriarchy, poverty, and survival. In this episode, I peel back the layers on a generational cycle that shaped him, shaped me, and shaped the work I do today.

I talk about the brutal upbringing he endured, the harm he caused, the day I stood between him and my mom when I was just a kid, and how that moment became the spark that shaped everything I now teach about boundaries, self-worth, and cycle breaking.

This is an unfiltered look at patriarchy as the water we’re all swimming in, how boys lose their humanity inside it, and how we reclaim ours in spite of it. It’s also about compassion without excuses, accountability without denial, and the complicated truth that you can love someone and still name the ways they failed you.

Most of all, it’s about what becomes possible when we choose to stop repeating what hurt us.

If you’re navigating your own messy middle, I hope my story helps you feel seen, less alone, and more certain that you are allowed to break every cycle that broke you.

Tune in. This one matters.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

If you’ve ever heard that vicious little voice in your head whispering things like you’re not smart enough, you always mess everything up, everyone’s laughing at you, this episode is going to hit home in the best possible way. Because that voice? It isn’t you. And today, we’re ripping the mask right off it.

In this raw, intimate episode of The Messy Middle, I’m taking you back to the moment I finally realized my inner critic wasn’t my voice at all. It was training. Conditioning. A survival strategy installed by people who once held power over me.

And it all came crashing down in the most bizarre, perfectly timed encounter inside an Office Depot...

I’ll walk you through the full story, the panic spiral leading up to my very first support group, and the exact moment the universe slapped my inner critic across the face and reminded me who the hell I really was.

We’re diving deep into:

• Why your inner critic often sounds like your earliest abuser, not you
• How your nervous system uses self criticism as a safety plan
• The hidden thoughts that run on autopilot and tank your self worth before you even notice
• The moment everything shifted for me and why it changed the entire trajectory of my work
• A powerful somatic exercise that will change how you relate to your inner critic forever

This episode is not about “being kinder to yourself.” It’s about exposing the lie, reclaiming your internal space, and realizing you were never the problem.

Get comfy, grab a notebook, and be ready for an exercise that may hit you right in the chest, in exactly the way it needs to.

Your inner critic has been running the show long enough. It’s time to meet the real you underneath all that noise.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

In this raw and unfiltered episode of The Messy Middle, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most defining moments of my healing journey and why Inner Child Work became Key One in my Six Keys to Unfu*kwithable.

I’m talking about the truth-telling, throat-tightening, survival-trained younger me. The part of me who learned early to shrink, perform, stay quiet, and swallow every truth just to stay safe.

I share the deeply personal story of sitting in couples therapy with someone who was actively cheating on me, the gaslighting that nearly broke me, and the one painful moment that ended up becoming my turning point. What was meant to shame me became the spark that led to my biggest breakthrough, my life’s work, and the thousands of women I support today.

Inside this episode I walk you through:

• What the inner child actually is and why she drives so much of your relationship patterns
• Why betrayal hurts long before you have proof
• How emotionally neglectful childhoods shape the partners we choose
• The way abusive or emotionally immature people weaponize vulnerability
• The real reason you felt like a child in your adult relationship
• How your younger self has been warning you all along

And at the end, I guide you through a grounding somatic practice that helps you meet your own inner child the way I wish someone had met mine: gently, honestly, and without trying to fix her or dismiss what she needed.

If you’ve ever felt like a shell of yourself, wondered why you tolerated so much, or questioned whether you’re “just too much,” this episode is going to hit you right in the chest in the best possible way.

You’re not broken. You’re rebuilding. One felt truth at a time. Take a breath, tune in, and come meet the part of you that’s been fighting for you all along.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

In this episode of The Messy Middle, I’m diving into the question I get asked with equal parts fear, dread, and heartbreak: Will this always happen to me?

If you’ve ever whispered that to yourself after surviving narcissistic or high-control dynamics, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not cursed, broken, or doomed to attract the same person in a different body for the rest of your life. What you are is a human being who learned survival in a world that normalizes manipulation, misogyny, and emotional labor piled onto your shoulders.

In this episode, I break down what’s really happening underneath that fear.

I talk about how manipulative people actually operate, the early “tests” they run to see how much they can get away with, and how your body can confuse familiarity with safety. I unpack why chemistry isn’t destiny, why repetition isn’t sabotage, and how your nervous system is simply trying to finish an unfinished story.

We get into everything from:

• Why you’re not a narcissist magnet
• How conditioning sets you up to tolerate too muc
• The modern rebrand of misogyny and why it matters
• Why early red flags feel comforting if chaos was once your normal
• How healing shifts your entire signal
• Dating as a social experiment

Most importantly, I walk you through how to rebuild self-trust so deeply that coercive people can’t hook into you anymore.

When your safety lives inside you, you get to choose differently, walk away sooner, and stand steadier in your feet than you ever have before.

This isn’t about avoiding life. It’s about building a life your nervous system can actually thrive in. A life that feels like coming home to yourself.

And no… this won’t always happen to you.

Let’s talk about why.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.