Well, chat, this is it. It's the first of our three (3!) episode extravaganza dedicated to the rise, life, and fall of the evilest dork in history: Nathan Cook Meeker. Born in the conquered eastern American frontier on his family farm, Nathan spent his entire life learning the wrong lesson at every turn and eating **** for it. Ideologically dominated via an American Classical education, studying the works of history's greatest bastards, Nathan believed wholeheartedly in repaying one's debts, the inalienable right of all men to be a blowhard without consequence, and the superiority of agriculture over every other way of life ever devised. He is also the sniveling twerp for whom the town of Meeker, Colorado is named. It will be no surprise to the listener to learn that Nathan spent most of his life repaying debt and being embittered by every passing day. He is a pivotal character in the removal of the Ute peoples from Colorado, and let his story be a lesson to all White Dorks of today! Being a numbnuts like Meeker and striving to find one's place inside an Imperialist society brings not only ruin to oneself, but to everyone around. If you start a commune on a bank loan, you'd best be prepared to seize the banks afterward. It's such a shame to see a Utopian guy like Meeker choosing ideas over reality. Funny how that happens to guys like that.

Chapters:

(00:18:48) The Discussion Zone

Our book is "The Utes Must Go!" American Expansion and the Removal of a People by Peter Decker. I can't find this book from the publisher anymore, so here's a buy link for ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Abebooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. I found my copy in a box of free books outside a bookstore at the mall five years ago. So you could try that too.

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Thomas Jefferson envisioned a perfect world where all geography was exquisitely mapped out, every person in existence was accounted for, and every family owned and tilled a small-acre-square pixel of land. Now, you might think we'd almost immediately run out of land if we all lived like that, but what your weak, PlayStation-addled brain doesn't realize is what if the frontier went on forever? What if there is, actually, infinite land on an infinite globe and everyone who currently lives on it doesn't deserve it because they don't have as much gold as you? What's that you're whining about now? Who will work all these farms? Why, it's simple! Either enslave the undeserving who already live there or start cranking out a family. We live in the Infinite Frontier! The Prosperity Can Never End! Surely nothing like, say, being unable to grow tomatoes on a rocky, 45 degree slope at an elevation of 10,000 feet will get in the way of our pixelation of the planet. It's Chapter 2 of "The Utes Must Go!"

Chapters:

(00:21:13) The Discussion Zone

Our book is "The Utes Must Go!" American Expansion and the Removal of a People by Peter Decker. I can't find this book from the publisher anymore, so here's a buy link for ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Abebooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. I found my copy in a box of free books outside a bookstore at the mall five years ago. So you could try that too.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tweet⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

The colonial era of human history marks the point at which everyone, everywhere came to understand that out of an imperialist's mouth, every accusation is a confession and every promise is already broken. The only thing that stops an empire from murdering you for its own convenience is to so-entirely kick its butt that it is forced to play nice with you. Now that's something to think about. It's Chapter 1 of "The Utes Must Go!"

Chapters:

(00:19:37) The Discussion Zone

Our book is "The Utes Must Go!" American Expansion and the Removal of a People by Peter Decker. I can't find this book from the publisher anymore, so here's a buy link for ⁠⁠⁠⁠Abebooks⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠⁠. I found my copy in a box of free books outside a bookstore at the mall five years ago. So you could try that too.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠⁠⁠⁠Tweet⁠⁠⁠⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Hello friends, it's Thanksgiving and so we're exploring the ancient White tradition of making slapdash travel plans and then eating one another! We're watching the 1999 film Ravenous with renown White Cannibalism expert, Alex Jonse. How will we fare in our stroll through this White madness? Tune in to see which host gets eaten!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠⁠⁠⁠Tweet⁠⁠⁠⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Building an empire requires hordes of dipwads yearning to fill their pockets with dollars. At some point you have to ask yourself, why did we build the dipwad machine? Did we really need to have built that? It's the Introduction to "The Utes Must Go!"

Chapters:

(00:20:29) The Discussion Zone

Our book is "The Utes Must Go!" American Expansion and the Removal of a People by Peter Decker. I can't find this book from the publisher anymore, so here's a buy link for ⁠⁠⁠Abebooks⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠Amazon⁠⁠⁠. I found my copy in a box of free books outside a bookstore at the mall five years ago. So you could try that too.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠⁠⁠Tweet⁠⁠⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Many people have asked, why does American-style activism seem like a hamster wheel through which the hope of the young is transformed into a massive money machine that is both unable and unwilling to root out the cause of all suffering? The answer is simple: it sure is.

Chapters:

(00:24:40) The Discussion Zone

Guess the heck what? It's new book time! Our second reading for the pod will be "The Utes Must Go!" American Expansion and the Removal of a People, by Peter Decker. This book details the story of indigenous removal in Colorado and all the attendant genocidal, anticommunist handwringing of 1880's America. I can't find this book from the publisher anymore, so here's a buy link for ⁠Abebooks⁠ and ⁠Amazon⁠. I found my copy in a box of free books outside a bookstore at the mall five years ago. So you could try that too.

Our book is Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials by Malcolm Harris. Pick up a copy from the publisher ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and read along with the pod!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠⁠Tweet⁠⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠⁠.

Imperialist, competitive societies are always scrambling for new ways to make profiteering cheaper. Owners spend untold fistfuls of cash to invent the cheapest production scheme they possibly can. Owners call this "efficiency" and say it is good. On the other hand, paying your employees zero money and threatening them with death if they disagree is probably the most profitable economic system owners have ever invented. The masses call this "slavery" and say it is bad. Who can really say which side is right? Oh yeah, us! It's chapter 6 of Kids These Days!

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Getty Update

(00:09:55) Opening Theme

(00:37:28) The Discussion Zone

The next episode will be the last episode reading Kids These Days! That means it's new book reveal time! Our second reading for the pod will be "The Utes Must Go!" American Expansion and the Removal of a People, by Peter Decker. This book details the story of indigenous removal in Colorado and all the attendant genocidal, anticommunist handwringing of 1880's America. I can't find this book from the publisher anymore, so here's a buy link for Abebooks and Amazon. I found my copy in a box of free books outside a bookstore at the mall five years ago. So you could try that too.

Our book is Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials by Malcolm Harris. Pick up a copy from the publisher ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and read along with the pod!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠Tweet⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠.

The episode started off like any other, but had very poor quality audio. If you've heard the original audio for Mattress Money Cartel, it was similar, but less stable. The first act was fairly normal, but the way the hosts acted was a little off. Trinity was angrier, Jodi seemed depressed, the guest behaved anxiously, and Diego appeared to have genuine anger and hatred towards her parents.

The episode was about the hosts going on a plane trip. Near the end of the first act, the plane was taking off. Diego was fooling around, as you'd expect. However, as the plane was about 50 feet off the ground, Diego broke a window and was sucked out.

At the beginning of the show, Trinity had an idea that the audio style of The Great Satan's Good Time Era represented life, and that death made things more realistic. Hence why it was used in this episode. The picture of Diego's corpse was barely recognizable. They took full advantage of it not having to move, and took an almost photorealistic picture of her dead body.

Act one ended with the shot of Diego's corpse. When act two started, Trinity, Jodi, and the guest were sitting at a table, crying. The crying went on and on; it became more pained and realistic, better acting than you would think possible. The audio started to decay even more as they cried, and you could hear murmuring in the background. The hosts could barely be made out. Their audio was stretching and blurring, sounding like deformed shadows with random bright sounds cascading over them. There were faces speaking in the window, wailing in and out so that you were never sure what they sounded like.

This crying went on for all of act two.

Act three opened with a title card saying one year had passed. Trinity, Jodi, and the guest were skeletally thin, and still sitting at the table. There was no sign of recording equipment or their pets.

They decided to visit Diego's grave. California was completely deserted, and as they walked to the cemetery, the houses became more and more decrepit. They all looked abandoned. When they got to the grave, Diego's body was lying in front of her tombstone, looking just like it did at the end of act one.

The hosts started crying again. Eventually they stopped and just stared at Diego's body. The microphone moved very close to Trinity's face. According to summaries, Trinity tells a joke at this part, but it isn't audible in the version I downloaded, so you can't tell what she's saying.

The sound faded out as the episode came to a close. The tombstones in the background had the names of every guest on the Great Satan's Good Time Era on them. Some that no one had heard of in 2025, some that haven't been on the show yet. All of them had death dates as well.

For guests who died since, like Alex Jones and Markiplier, the dates were when they would die. The credits were completely silent, and seemed rushed. The final sound was the hosts on their couch, like in the live episodes, but all speaking in the hyper-realistic, lifeless style of Diego's corpse.

A thought occurred to me after seeing the episode for the first time. You could try to use the tombstones to predict the death of living The Great Satan's Good Time Era guest stars. But there was something odd about most of the ones who haven't died yet.

All of their deaths are listed as the same date.

~~~~~

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Support the show! Get an extra episode every month! (Sometimes 2!)

⁠⁠Tweet⁠⁠ at your favorite hosts!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ the show with your questions and praises!

All complaints should be filed with the ⁠⁠⁠Complaints Department⁠⁠⁠.