People don’t usually walk into a family lawyer’s office asking how to reflect and evolve—but in our experience, a failure to learn from past relationships is often what brings people back. Again and again.

In this episode, Ben and Heather talk to Dr. Robyn Goodwin, a clinical psychologist from LSC Psychology in Sydney, to explore how to learn from broken relationships so you can move forward with clarity and reassurance.

Topics covered include:

• How strong emotions can get in the way of reflection and growth
• How to "process" those emotions
• How to reflect on what went wrong
• How to avoid blame and self blame
• The impact of repeating the same relationship patterns
• How to recognise when you're travelling down the same old road
• Advice for someone who feels stuck - like they can't get over past relationships
• Learning resources and advice for moving forward

Even for those who are relatively well-off, accessing joint assets during separation can be difficult—so where does the money come from to fund your life, legal expenses and basic needs in the meantime?

Ben and Heather are joined by Amanda Kerdel from JustFund, Australia's leading provider of family law and estate finance, to discuss the options available for funding your divorce or separation.

Topics covered include:

• Costs - what are the common expenses, and what's a ballpark range for typical separation costs?
• Shared assets - can these be used, and what may prevent the use of shared assets
• Borrowing from family/friends/banks - the pros and cons
• Litigation finance:
• Heather and Amanda share stories of how litigation finance is helping people to achieve justice

We’re revisiting one of our most popular early episodes — Getting a Fair Property Settlement.

Everyone going through a separation wants a fair outcome. The challenge is that your idea of “fair” and your ex-partner’s can be very different — and emotions or past hurts often get in the way.

In this episode, family law expert Heather McKinnon shares her top tips for reaching a fair financial settlement without unnecessary conflict or cost. Her practical advice remains just as relevant today as when we first aired this episode.

Key takeaways include:

• Agree early on what property and liabilities you both have.

• Do your due diligence — know your own and your ex-partner’s financial position.

• If you can’t agree on an asset’s value, agree to get a valuer.

• Don’t let emotional attachment block a sensible outcome.

• Get early legal advice to understand your best- and worst-case scenarios.

• Focus on fairness, not punishment.

• Consider a financial planner for fresh ideas and solutions.

• Mediate once both parties understand the full asset picture.

• Keep communication open.

• Wait 3–6 months after separation before finalising finances.

With the holiday season just around the corner, we’re bringing back a very popular episode from 2022 featuring Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW.

Elisabeth is also a highly experienced clinical and counselling psychologist, specialising in couple and family therapy, with more than 25 years of wisdom to share.

In this episode, Elisabeth offers thoughtful and practical advice for anyone navigating the festive season after a separation or divorce—a time that can bring up all kinds of emotions and logistical challenges.

We cover a wide range of topics, including:

• Why the holidays tend to heighten emotions and strain relationships

• The emotional impact of your first major holiday without your ex—and how to manage it

• Strategies for negotiating holiday arrangements for children

• Helping kids handle their own feelings around the season

• What to do if you're planning to travel with the kids

• Coping with loneliness or resentment if you’re spending the holiday alone

• And how to navigate holidays with adult children post-separation

Toward the end of the episode, Ben asks both Elisabeth and Heather for their one key piece of advice for couples facing their first Christmas apart—so be sure to stay tuned right through to the end.

In this episode of The Family Matters Show, Ben and Heather answer real questions from the Coffs Coast community - questions that might be on your mind too.

• Can I force the sale of a jointly owned home if we’ve only lived together 18 months?

• What can I do if my ex is demanding too much and I can’t afford legal fees?

• Do we really have to split parenting time 50/50?

• Can I stop my ex from introducing the kids to a new partner after just a few weeks?

• What are my options if my ex has stopped paying child support?

• Should my HECS debt be considered in our property settlement?

• What can I do if I suspect my ex is hiding business assets?

If you’ve been asking yourself any of these questions, this episode is packed with clear, practical answers.

Ben and Heather are joined by Craig Budden from Aussie Home Loans in Coffs Harbour to discuss the tricky business of getting finance after separation.

Topic covered include:

• The major challenges in getting finance post-separation
• Credit scores: what are they and how can divorce impact on your score
• How to rebuild your credit score if it takes a hit after separation
• Do banks count child support or spousal maintenance when calculating your income?
• Buying a new property if your name is still on a joint mortgage for the family home
• Removing your ex's name from the joint mortgage if they stop making payments
• What banks look for if you want to buy out your ex's share of the family home
• Is it possible and/or reasonable to maintain a joint mortgage after separation?
• Options for single parents seeking a home loan
• The Family Home Guarantee scheme - what is it and who's eligible?
• Top tips from Craig, Ben & Heather when seeking finance after separation

Ben and Heather talk about the contributions to a marriage that can be factored into a property settlement, focusing on the non-financial contributions which can easily be missed. Together they discuss the following:

• The legal definition of "contributions"
• Step-children - parenting and paying for other people's children
• Stay-at-home parents
• Putting a partner through education
• Living rent-free with the in-laws
• How to ensure that all your contributions are considered in the property settlement

Ben and Heather are joined by Klaudia Gebert, psychologist and founder of Self Reflection, to talk about transitioning to a single person after separation. Topics discussed include:

• Grieving the loss of your marriage/relationship
• Overcoming loneliness
• What people with multiple separations may be doing wrong
• Regaining purpose after separation
• Where to look for support with reinventing yourself
• Casual dating after separation
• Finding love again after separation