Episodes

  • Episode 6: ENM: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly

    Episode 6: ENM: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly
    Jul 30 2025
    Episode 6: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly

    From cute friend dates to chaotic sex parties, we’re ending Season 1 with our wildest, weirdest, and most heartfelt dating stories. In this final episode of the season, we swap stories from the frontlines of dating while ethically non-monogamous — the good, the bad, and the downright fugly. We reflect on what counts as a date in ENM, how online dating compares to meeting people in community, and the beautiful chaos of navigating sex parties, group dynamics, and slow-burn connections. There’s vulnerability, laughter, and a lot of honest talk about what it’s really like to date, connect, and grow while living non-monogamously. What We Talk About:
    • Dating while polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous
    • Why some of the best dates are platonic
    • Online dating red flags and bios that make us swipe away
    • First-time sex party nerves (and snacks)
    • The pressure (or not) at ENM social events
    • How community-based connections feel safer and more authentic
    • One piece of advice we’d give to anyone starting out in ENM
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help fund free therapy and support groups
    • The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (access via Ko-Fi)
    Love what you hear?
    • Follow, review, and support the pod over on Ko-fi — every little bit helps us fund free and subsidised therapy and support groups for ENM folks.
    • Join our Discord to connect with other non-monogamous, queer, and curious humans from all walks of life.
    And stay tuned — we’ll be back with Season 2 soon. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, dating, friendship, and community.
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    40 mins
  • Episode 5: Communication, Boundaries & Agreements in ENM

    Episode 5: Communication, Boundaries & Agreements in ENM
    Jul 23 2025
    Episode 5: Communication and Boundaries

    What does “good communication” really mean in ethical non-monogamy — and how do you know if you’re setting a boundary or just trying to control someone? Intro Paragraph:
    In this episode of The ENM DNM, we unpack the layered, often messy world of communication and boundaries in ethical non-monogamy. We explore how mismatched expectations, emotional triggers, people-pleasing, and different processing styles impact our relationships. You’ll hear real-life stories of things gone right (and wrong), how we define “good communication,” and what happens when boundaries are unclear or unspoken. Whether you’re new to ENM or years into your journey, this conversation is packed with honesty, reflection, and insight into what it takes to build trust and connection in non-monogamous relationships.

    What We Talk About:
    • How we define “good communication” in ENM relationships
    • Why listening is the most underrated communication skill
    • Emotional regulation and learning your own processing style
    • What a boundary actually is (and what it’s not)
    • When communication isn’t enough and a relationship ends
    • Common challenges like unmet expectations and miscommunication between partners and metamours
    • The difference between boundaries, agreements, and rules
    • Learning from past relationships and becoming “version 2.0”
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
    • Polysecure (book)
    • The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)
    • TED Talk: “John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence | TED
    • Miriam Margolyes Meets The Sistergirls Of The Tiwi Islands | Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian

    Love what you hear?

    Follow The ENM DNM on your favourite podcast app and leave us a review — it really helps new listeners find us.
    Support the pod and our work in the community at ko-fi.com/enmdnm
    Join our private Discord space to connect, share, and grow alongside others in the ENM community.

    Next episode, we’re talking about dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly.

    Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.
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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Episode 4: Coming Out… or Not: ENM and the People We Love

    Episode 4: Coming Out… or Not: ENM and the People We Love
    Jul 16 2025
    Episode 4: Families, Friends, and the (Mono) World

    World What happens when you’re living ethically non-monogamous — but your friends, family, or workplace aren’t? In this episode, we unpack the messy, beautiful, and often awkward moments of coming out in a monogamous world. We talk about the choices we make around who to tell, how we tell them, and why some of us don’t tell anyone at all. From religious upbringings and conservative families to tricky friendship dynamics and professional boundaries, this episode dives into the real-life impact of being ENM in spaces that might not understand it. Whether you’re fully out, quietly navigating disclosure, or somewhere in between, this conversation holds space for it all — with vulnerability, reflection, and a little bit of sass. What We Talk About:
    • Coming out as ethically non-monogamous to friends, family, and colleagues
    • Navigating disclosure in conservative or religious families
    • Balancing identity, safety, and authenticity in the workplace
    • Friendship shifts, chosen family, and community support
    • How queer identity, culture, and values shape ENM disclosure
    • The emotional labour of educating others about ethical non-monogamy
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
    • Polysecure (book)
    • The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)

    Love what you hear?
    • Follow, rate, and review the podcast — it really helps more people find us.
    • Support us and access our private Discord via Ko-fi.
    Next up: we're diving into dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly. Don’t miss it. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.
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    1 hr and 21 mins
  • Intro episode

    Intro episode
    Jul 9 2025
    Welcome to The ENM DNM Hey friends! This is a quick intro to The ENM DNM – a podcast where we have deep and meaningful conversations about ethical non-monogamy.

    I’m Adam (he/him), a counsellor, youth worker, and community member, and this podcast is just people sharing their real experiences of ENM.
    No advice, no preaching—just honest chats.

    If you like what you hear and want to support the pod (and help me offer free or discounted therapy to those who need it), you can join the Discord by chucking in a few dollars on Ko-fi. It really helps. Thanks for being here. Let’s get into it.
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    4 mins
  • Episode 3: Intersectionality and ENM

    Episode 3: Intersectionality and ENM
    Jul 9 2025
    Episode 3: Intersectionality and ENM

    What happens when your queerness, culture, neurodivergence, and upbringing all collide with ethical non-monogamy? We’re talking about the beautiful mess that is intersectionality. In this episode, we explore how identity shapes the way we show up in ethical non-monogamy (ENM). From growing up in religious households or navigating white privilege to being queer, neurodivergent, or culturally “othered,” we get real about how our histories affect our desires, relationships, and sense of belonging in polyamorous and open relationship spaces. This is one for anyone who's ever wondered, "Am I doing this right?" or "Is it just me?" (Spoiler: it’s not.)

    What We Talk About:
    • How race, culture, gender, and queerness influence our experiences in ENM
    • The impact of religious and conservative upbringings on identity and relationships
    • Shame, internalised norms, and how we begin to unlearn them
    • The role of gender identity and sexuality in open relationships
    • Navigating ENM while feeling “not queer enough” or “too much”
    • Relationship structures beyond the mainstream
    • Friendship, intimacy, and redefining what connection means
    • Vulnerability, self-discovery, and making space for change
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • Ko-Fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and our community
    • The Ethical Slut (book)

    Love what you hear?
    • If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.
    • Want to keep the conversation going?
    • Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, identity, support, and more.


    Next episode, we’re diving into communication and boundaries—how we define them, where we struggle, and what it means to communicate well in ENM.
    Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, consent, and community.
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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Episode 2: Navigating The Early Days of ENM

    Episode 2: Navigating The Early Days of ENM
    Jul 9 2025
    Episode 2: Initial Struggles with ENM

    Starting out in ethical non-monogamy can feel like learning to walk on a tightrope—in the dark, with no map. We’ve been there.

    What we talk about in this episode:

    In this episode, we get real about the messy, confusing, and sometimes magical first six months of navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM). From awkward first dates and emotional overwhelm to finding community and unlearning monogamy norms, we share the stuff people don’t always talk about. Whether you’re newly polyamorous, deep in open relationships, or just curious about relationship structures outside the mainstream, this one’s for you. What We Talk About:
    • Our first steps into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and polyamory
    • Where we looked for information, advice, and emotional support
    • Early emotional challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and loneliness
    • The cultural and queer identity layers that shaped our experiences
    • How support groups, dating apps, and community events helped (or didn’t)
    • Good advice, bad advice, and everything in between
    • Personal reflections, resilience, and learning to sit with discomfort
    • What we wish we’d known when we were starting out in ENM
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm
    • yarnn.au
    • Poly Phelia Instagram
    • Shrimp Teeth Instagram
    • The Ethical Slut (book)
    Love what you hear?
    • If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.
    • Want to keep the conversation going? Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, dating, identity, and more.
    • Next episode, we’re diving into intersectionality in ENM—how our race, gender, queerness, and lived experience shape the way we show up in relationships.
    Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, community, and the very real struggles of starting out.
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Episode 1: Starting Out in ENM

    Episode 1: Starting Out in ENM
    Jul 9 2025
    Episode 1: Starting Out in ENM

    How We Found Ethical Non-Monogamy and What It Means to Us Curious about how people actually get into ethical non-monogamy? In this very first episode of The ENM DNM, we sit down with our full crew – Adam, Leonie, Ed, Ari, and Jacqui – to share how we each found our way into ENM, polyamory, or something a little harder to define. From queerness and curiosity to dissatisfaction with monogamy, our journeys into non-traditional relationship structures are deeply personal, sometimes hilarious, and always real. We unpack the words that have shaped us – like polyamory, relationship anarchy, and ethical non-monogamy – and how labels can be both empowering and frustrating. Whether you're still figuring out what label (if any) fits you, or you're happily dancing outside the boxes, this one’s for you.

    What we talk about in this episode:
    • How we each came to non-monogamy, and why
    • Why labels like polyamory, ENM, and RA can be useful… or not
    • What communication, consent, and boundaries look like in real life
    • Early challenges and moments of growth
    • How queer identity, community, and self-discovery intersect in our relationships
    Mentioned in this episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help us keep going 💛
    • yarnn.au
    • hausofdizzy.com
    • kinyalerrk.com.au
    • clothingthegaps.com.au
    • Decolonise Yourself Card Game by Aretha Brown
    Love what you hear?
    • Join our community on Discord (coming soon!)
    • Support us on Ko-Fi
    • Subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts
    • Share this episode with your polycule, your curious mates, or your queer book club
    Next episode: Navigating The Early Days of ENM– we’re diving into the messy first six months of non-monogamy and how we survived them.
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    1 hr and 4 mins