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The ENM DNM

The ENM DNM

By: CT Podcasts
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About this listen

 Welcome to The ENM DNM, the podcast where we have deep and meaningful (DNM) conversations about ethical non-monogamy (ENM).

Whether you're curious, practising, or deep in the trenches of polyamorous life, this show holds space for all the messy, joyful, complex realities of ENM.


Each episode dives into different themes, from getting started, to communication struggles, identity, dating stories, and how ENM intersects with the wider (often mononormative) world. You’ll hear honest stories, personal experiences, and the occasional bit of swearing, laughter, or tea-spilling.
This isn’t a how-to guide. It’s not prescriptive. It’s a space to reflect, connect, and hear how others are navigating ENM in all its forms. We're queer-run, community-focused, and proud of the diversity of voices we platform.

Want to join our community chat? Find links and info at Ko-fi.com/ENMDNM
Follow us and share the show with your polycules, metamours, mates, or anyone trying to figure out how to love more than one human at a time.Copyright CT Podcasts Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Episode 6: ENM: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly

    Episode 6: ENM: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly
    Jul 30 2025
    Episode 6: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly

    From cute friend dates to chaotic sex parties, we’re ending Season 1 with our wildest, weirdest, and most heartfelt dating stories. In this final episode of the season, we swap stories from the frontlines of dating while ethically non-monogamous — the good, the bad, and the downright fugly. We reflect on what counts as a date in ENM, how online dating compares to meeting people in community, and the beautiful chaos of navigating sex parties, group dynamics, and slow-burn connections. There’s vulnerability, laughter, and a lot of honest talk about what it’s really like to date, connect, and grow while living non-monogamously. What We Talk About:
    • Dating while polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous
    • Why some of the best dates are platonic
    • Online dating red flags and bios that make us swipe away
    • First-time sex party nerves (and snacks)
    • The pressure (or not) at ENM social events
    • How community-based connections feel safer and more authentic
    • One piece of advice we’d give to anyone starting out in ENM
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help fund free therapy and support groups
    • The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (access via Ko-Fi)
    Love what you hear?
    • Follow, review, and support the pod over on Ko-fi — every little bit helps us fund free and subsidised therapy and support groups for ENM folks.
    • Join our Discord to connect with other non-monogamous, queer, and curious humans from all walks of life.
    And stay tuned — we’ll be back with Season 2 soon. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, dating, friendship, and community.
    Show More Show Less
    40 mins
  • Episode 5: Communication, Boundaries & Agreements in ENM

    Episode 5: Communication, Boundaries & Agreements in ENM
    Jul 23 2025
    Episode 5: Communication and Boundaries

    What does “good communication” really mean in ethical non-monogamy — and how do you know if you’re setting a boundary or just trying to control someone? Intro Paragraph:
    In this episode of The ENM DNM, we unpack the layered, often messy world of communication and boundaries in ethical non-monogamy. We explore how mismatched expectations, emotional triggers, people-pleasing, and different processing styles impact our relationships. You’ll hear real-life stories of things gone right (and wrong), how we define “good communication,” and what happens when boundaries are unclear or unspoken. Whether you’re new to ENM or years into your journey, this conversation is packed with honesty, reflection, and insight into what it takes to build trust and connection in non-monogamous relationships.

    What We Talk About:
    • How we define “good communication” in ENM relationships
    • Why listening is the most underrated communication skill
    • Emotional regulation and learning your own processing style
    • What a boundary actually is (and what it’s not)
    • When communication isn’t enough and a relationship ends
    • Common challenges like unmet expectations and miscommunication between partners and metamours
    • The difference between boundaries, agreements, and rules
    • Learning from past relationships and becoming “version 2.0”
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
    • Polysecure (book)
    • The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)
    • TED Talk: “John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence | TED
    • Miriam Margolyes Meets The Sistergirls Of The Tiwi Islands | Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian

    Love what you hear?

    Follow The ENM DNM on your favourite podcast app and leave us a review — it really helps new listeners find us.
    Support the pod and our work in the community at ko-fi.com/enmdnm
    Join our private Discord space to connect, share, and grow alongside others in the ENM community.

    Next episode, we’re talking about dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly.

    Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Episode 4: Coming Out… or Not: ENM and the People We Love

    Episode 4: Coming Out… or Not: ENM and the People We Love
    Jul 16 2025
    Episode 4: Families, Friends, and the (Mono) World

    World What happens when you’re living ethically non-monogamous — but your friends, family, or workplace aren’t? In this episode, we unpack the messy, beautiful, and often awkward moments of coming out in a monogamous world. We talk about the choices we make around who to tell, how we tell them, and why some of us don’t tell anyone at all. From religious upbringings and conservative families to tricky friendship dynamics and professional boundaries, this episode dives into the real-life impact of being ENM in spaces that might not understand it. Whether you’re fully out, quietly navigating disclosure, or somewhere in between, this conversation holds space for it all — with vulnerability, reflection, and a little bit of sass. What We Talk About:
    • Coming out as ethically non-monogamous to friends, family, and colleagues
    • Navigating disclosure in conservative or religious families
    • Balancing identity, safety, and authenticity in the workplace
    • Friendship shifts, chosen family, and community support
    • How queer identity, culture, and values shape ENM disclosure
    • The emotional labour of educating others about ethical non-monogamy
    Mentioned in This Episode:
    • ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
    • Polysecure (book)
    • The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)

    Love what you hear?
    • Follow, rate, and review the podcast — it really helps more people find us.
    • Support us and access our private Discord via Ko-fi.
    Next up: we're diving into dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly. Don’t miss it. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 21 mins
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