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Have you ever had to fight your own mind just to do something you love? In this follow-up episode to "When Social Anxiety Hits Back", I share my win of making it to the Newcastle Knights game—despite social anxiety trying it's hardest to keep me trapped at home.

It came down to a last-minute call, but walking into McDonald Jones Stadium with 30,000 fans reminded me that showing up matters more than the scoreboard. Even though the Knights went down to the Brisbane Broncos, pushing past my mental health barriers felt like the real victory. And it was!

Sometimes building a life worth living means leaning into discomfort and fronting up anyway, especially for the things that make us feel alive! Go Knights!

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What happens when the things we love most become casualties of our mental health? Today, I’m facing that question head-on as social anxiety keeps me from the final Newcastle Knights home game of the season.

For me, the Knights aren’t just a hobby, they’re part of my identity! With my Pride of the Hunter banner and strong, powerful voice in the stands, I’ve become a bit of a fixture at McDonald Jones Stadium. Yet instead of joining 30,000 fans today, I’m at home recording this episode.

This tug-of-war happens a lot, between wanting to go and feeling capable of going and not having the capacity. This internal conflict captures the cruel nature of social anxiety and autism-related sensory challenges. Even when we and I desperately want and need something to cheer about, sometimes the mental barriers win. And my social battery just doesn't stretch enough.

But there’s still meaning in sharing the struggle. Living with mental illness often means redefining expectations. It's not always about being perfect in my record of appearances at games, but in trying my best and balancing self-care with pushing my limits.

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You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters, and the show on Facebook!

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What happens when the mental health system fails those that need it most? In this raw, unfiltered episode, I take you into the depths of my ongoing battle with a mental healthcare approach that seems more interested in medication guess-work than actual measures for recovery.

I'm currently taking seven different medications – heavy-duty pharmaceuticals that should, theoretically, be providing relief from my complex mental health conditions. Yet despite this chemical cocktail, my symptoms continue to worsen. My frustration is palpable as I recount my recent psychiatric appointment where my request to safely taper off medications under supervision was dismissed, replaced instead with simply swapping one medication for another.

The consequences of inadequate treatment have now spilled into my work life. I've been stripped of my forklift operator role – the one area where I felt most competent and found respite from my social anxiety. This loss represents the real-world impact of a mental health system that keeps failing those who need it most. And this could only be the start.

What makes this situation particularly disappointing is my willingness to try anything – even considering ECT or extended hospital admissions – just to get proper help. When someone describes themselves as "the most willing patient" who is willing to try anything, yet cannot access appropriate care despite years of advocacy, we must question how our mental health services are prioritised and delivered.

For anyone navigating complex mental health challenges or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation that you're not alone in your struggle. The path to proper treatment shouldn't be this difficult, but together we can continue advocating for better approaches.

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Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.
Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.

This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.

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You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters, and the show on Facebook!