🎧 Listen if you're wondering when you can make an offer, you've received one that floored you, you feel pressured to "be the reasonable one," your ex is high-conflict or controlling, or you've been told you have to go to mediation first.

⚠️ General information only, not legal advice Australian family law. Always consult a family lawyer.

🛟 Discusses coercive control & legal/financial abuse. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 – What Is an Offer in a Divorce?

01:50 – What an Offer Really Is (and What Counteroffers Are)

02:30 – Do You Need a Lawyer to Make an Offer?

03:30 – Why Emotional, People-Pleasing Offers Backfire

04:30 – What You Need Before You Make an Offer: Your Property Pool

05:00 – Future Needs, Super vs Cash

06:00 – Knowing What You're Giving Up With Eyes Wide Open

07:00 – Rushed & Blindsided Offers:

08:00 – Buying Time Before You Agree

09:00 – Can You Get Out of Something You Signed Under Pressure?

10:30 – When Can You Make an Offer? Anytime You're Informed

12:30 – The Best Time to Make Your First Offer & Saving Legal Fees

13:50 – The Mediation Myth: You Don't Have to Go

15:40 – Why People Only Get Realistic at Mediation

17:00 – Time-Limited Offers: Pressure, Deadlines & the Downside

20:00 – Standing Offers:

22:00 – Do Offers Work in Parenting

24:30 – Calderbank Offers & Section 114UB Explained

25:50 – Offer Strategy for an Avoidant Ex

28:30 – Offer Strategy for a High-Conflict "Yeah, But" Ex

31:20 – Offer Strategy for an Amicable Ex & Collaborative Law

36:20 – Can You Offer Directly to Your Ex While Lawyers Are Engaged?

37:00 – Making Offers to a Narcissistic or Controlling Ex

39:00 – Don't Feed the Reaction: Grey Rock & Shuttle Negotiation

41:50 – What to Do When You Get a Bad Offer

42:50 – Ambit Claims & the Central Practice Direction

44:00 – Ask for the Authorities: Turning a Bad Offer to Your Advantage

46:30 – The Consequences of Refusing a Reasonable Offer

48:50 – Genuine Steps, Compulsory Offers & Costs Protection

50:00 – Why Offers Stay Hidden From the Judge Until the End

Calderbank Offers & Costs — • Costs, Family Court and Calderbank Offers ...

Can You Really Mediate With a Narcissist? — • Mediation and negotiation tips for divorci...

— www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Enrol (DIY Divorce Blueprint, AU) — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• You're wondering if you actually need a lawyer for your divorce at all

• You're worried that spending too much now means you can't afford court later

• You're scared that "lawyering up" will make your ex worse

• You think it's all-or-nothing and want to know the middle ground

• Your ex is high-conflict, avoidant, controlling, or amicable and you need a strategy that fits

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since recording.

Most people think there are only two options when it comes to lawyers in a divorce hand everything over, or go it completely alone. But that's not the truth, and believing it can cost you thousands.

In this episode, Laura and Lyn break down the three ways you can actually use a lawyer.

Then they get into what nobody talks about how your divorce personality type should completely change how you use a lawyer. A manipulative and controlling ex who runs up your fees needs a very different strategy to an avoidant ex who panics at a law firm's letterhead

This isn't an episode telling you to avoid lawyers. It's about using them strategically for the parts where legal expertise genuinely matters, and not for the parts that just drain your property pool.

00:00 – Do You Need a Lawyer for Divorce? The Big Myth

01:40 – The All-or-Nothing Lawyer Myth & Talking About Costs

03:00 – Why Spending Too Much on Lawyers Early Can Backfire

04:00 – The 2 Critical Times You MUST See a Lawyer

05:00 – Why Seeing a Lawyer Early Bursts Unrealistic Expectations

06:20 – Before You Sign: Why a Lawyer's Eye Matters

08:20 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: The First-Class Ride

09:50 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: Step In, Step Out

11:20 – Divorce Personality Types: Manipulative & Controlling

12:50 – Using Your Lawyer Strategically Against Fee-Running Tactics

15:00 – Should You Take a Lawyer or Barrister to Mediation?

17:00 – Divorce Personality Types: High Conflict

19:00 – Divorce Personality Types: The Avoidant Ex

21:30 – Divorce Personality Types: The Amicable Ex

23:40 – Project-Managing Your Lawyer & the Addario & Addario Case

26:00 – Why Understanding the Process Stops Panic Spending

33:00 – The Middle Way + Legal Aid & Community Legal Services

34:00 – The DIY Divorce Blueprint & Sign-Off

🎧 Episodes

1. How Much Does Getting Divorced Actually Cost? — https://youtu.be/x-sgBNjlTHo?si=ubdIhcS1mjSrQqEk

2. Bombarded With Legal Letters — https://youtu.be/z11Id8YdQn4?si=ucYfGThRuRcFYoH6

3. Mediation or Manipulation? — https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=BMV5KY4CquSx1_dN

4. Do You Need to Take a Lawyer to Mediation? — https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=vNwQueYHJhFrY3aP

5. Community Legal Services: How to Use Them — https://youtu.be/4sEUhu6r07Q?si=1oYsGQ3vF1Eb2Y4M

📚 Links & Resources

📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The DIY Divorce Blueprint — enrolments open until 10 June 2026 (click "Enroll Now")

💌 If this episode helped you understand how to use a lawyer wisely – and where you can save thousands – please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too.

🎧 Listen to This Episode If…

• You want a real, plain-English breakdown of divorce process fees

• You're terrified to leave because you've heard divorce costs hundreds of thousands of dollars

• Your ex is telling you "leave the lawyers out of it" and you're not sure if they're right

• You've already started racking up legal fees and you're wondering where it's all going

• You want to understand exactly what you can do yourself versus what you actually need a lawyer for

• You're heading into mediation and don't know if you need a barrister too
  
  

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer

This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. fees may have changed since this episode was recorded (figures quoted reflect May 2026 pricing).

This isn't an episode designed to scare you. Laura and Lyn walk you through where you have control, where you can save thousands by doing the work yourself,

00:00 – The Real Cost of Divorce: Why Some Pay $4K and Others $300K

02:36 – The Big Three Fears

04:14 – How Much Does a Divorce Application Actually Cost?

06:35 – Why Lawyers Charge for "Accepting Service"

08:01 – Negotiation Costs:

11:00 – Hourly Rates in 2026:

12:30 – The Cost of Phone Calls, Reviewing Offers & Meetings

14:30 – How Much to Draft Consent Orders

16:00 – Disclosure: The Biggest Budget Blowout in Divorce

19:00 – Paralegal Rates vs Lawyer Rates: Don't Overpay

20:30 – Drip-Feeding vs Dumping Disclosure

23:30 – Mediation Costs

24:50 – Do You Need a Barrister at Mediation?

27:00 – Half-Day vs Full-Day Mediation

29:30 – Hidden Costs

32:30 – The Court's Scale of Fees vs What Lawyers Actually Charge

33:30 – How Sending Late-Night Emails Costs You

34:30 – How People Waste Money

35:30 – Fighting Over Furniture, Revenge Litigation & Lawyer-as-Therapist

36:30 – Stubbornness, Unrealistic Expectations & Knowing When to Let Go

37:30 – Family Law Doesn't Deliver Justice or Retribution

39:00 – How Much to File Consent Orders ($205 Court Fee)

41:00 – How to Be Smart: When to Use a Lawyer and When Not To

41:30 – Saving Thousands on Disclosure by Doing It Yourself

43:00 – The One Meeting Strategy: Walk In Prepared, Walk Out Saving $10K

46:00 – Who Pays for Legal Fees? Section 114UB Explained

47:30 – Fee Exemptions, Cost Agreements & What to Expect

49:30 – Laura's Confession: The Bag of Receipts Story

🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode

1. How to Choose a Mediator (Free vs Private Mediation) https://youtu.be/HKda6QswjAE?si=R27SD6WSDiLiI3VA

2. Do You Need a Lawyer for Mediation? https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=ur8ZMCkzPQ9dYFZN

3. Furniture in Divorce: How to Deal With It Without Blowing Your Budgethttps://youtu.be/oZ5h-gxckXU

4. Consent Orders Explained https://youtu.be/-DC72tq8FRM

🎟️ Free Webinar — Register at www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat")

• Family Law Act 1975 – Section 114UB (each party bears their own costs)

https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/

• https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/costs

• https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/legal-costs

• The Divorce Course Disclosure Checklist —https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosure_checklist_o