Episodes

  • Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent

    Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent
    Nov 26 2025
    Listen to this episode if…

    • You're feeling emotionally overloaded

    • Everyone around you has an opinion and it's stressing you out

    • You're being pushed to make decisions faster than you're ready for

    • You're not sure what's a legal deadline vs. emotional urgency

    • You're feeling pressure from all sides to get things sorted

    • You are overwhelmed

    📌 Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode.

    Are you feeling completely overwhelmed by your separation or divorce? Like everything is urgent, everyone needs something from you

    You are not alone and this episode is here to help.

    In this conversation, Mum and I walk through 8 practical ways to calm the chaos, slow things down, and take back control of your divorce journey. We cover emotional overwhelm, confusing legal pressure, and the early survival strategies that can make all the difference.

    Whether you're still in shock or already knee-deep in logistics, this episode is your gentle reminder that you don't have to do it all at once and you shouldn't.

    ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent

    00:00 – Introduction: Overcoming Divorce Overwhelm
    Why everything feels urgent—and how this episode can help you breathe again.

    00:21 – Feeling Pressured to Make Fast Decisions During Divorce
    How panic can lead to poor choices and what to do instead.

    00:28 – 8 Practical Strategies to Regain Control in Separation
    Overview of what you'll learn and how to use these tips right away.

    00:51 – Welcome and What This Episode Covers
    Who this episode is for and why this conversation matters.

    01:08 – The Stress of Divorce Deadlines and Decision Fatigue
    How urgency from lawyers, family, or your ex can overwhelm you.

    03:17 – Legal vs. Emotional Deadlines: Know the Difference
    Understanding what's truly urgent and what can wait.

    06:50 – The Emotional Shock of a Breakup
    Why you're not functioning "normally" and that's okay.

    13:48 – Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends During Divorce
    How to protect your peace from well-meaning (but draining) input.

    19:48 – Prioritizing Safety, Shelter, and Stability First
    Triage your needs: food, housing, money, transport before anything else.

    23:34 – Recognizing and Responding to Financial Abuse
    What financial control looks like—and how to get support.

    24:09 – Why Self-Care Is Essential, Not Optional
    Simple ways to take care of yourself when everything feels like too much.

    28:10 – Making Space for Grief and Emotional Recovery
    Letting yourself feel, cry, and heal without guilt.

    30:41 – How Learning the Process Can Help You Feel Empowered
    Education as a tool to reduce panic and increase confidence.

    34:32 – Creating a New Divorce Routine That Works for You
    Using structure and small steps to take back control of your life.

    39:29 – Final Thoughts: You've Got This, One Step at a Time
    Encouragement, next steps, and reminding you—you're not alone.

    Resources

    Central Practice Directions

    https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

    Free Disclosure Checklist

    https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

    Episode Links

    Boundaries in Divorce

    https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=KyJGKYneiBek41fe

    🚨 Support Services:

    • 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

    • Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)


    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

    📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

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    43 mins
  • Family Law Myths: Don't Fall for These 5 During Separation

    Family Law Myths: Don't Fall for These 5 During Separation
    Nov 19 2025
    Listen to this episode if…

    • You're in the middle of a separation and unsure what advice to follow

    • Friends, family, or Facebook have told you "what to do"

    • You've heard you can't leave the house without losing everything

    • You feel pressured not to bring up domestic violence

    • You're confused about disclosure, super splitting, or property rights

    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING Discussions of Family Violence

    Have you been told that if you leave the house, you lose everything? Or that you shouldn't mention domestic violence in family court? These are just a few examples of the harmful myths in Australia we hear all too often in separation and divorce.

    In this episode, Laura & Lyn expose some of the worst legal advice circulating in family law and explain why it can derail your case, delay your outcome, or damage your safety and rights.

    They break down five of the most common (and dangerous) misconceptions, share what the law really says, and help you feel more confident about asking the right questions of your lawyer and making informed decisions.

    ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Episode 221 Family Law Myths Don't Fall for These 5 During Separation

    00:00 – Introduction: Debunking Common Family Law Myths
    Why bad legal advice is everywhere—and how it can derail your case.

    01:42 – The Real Impact of Misinformation in Separation and Divorce
    What happens when you follow outdated or incorrect legal advice.

    05:37 – Myth #1: "If You Leave the House, You Lose Your Property Rights"
    Why leaving the family home doesn't mean forfeiting your share.

    12:48 – Myth #2: "You Must Have Every Document Before You Can Settle"
    The truth about financial disclosure and realistic expectations.

    19:40 – Myth #3: "Don't Mention Domestic Violence in Court"
    How this dangerous myth puts safety and outcomes at risk.

    24:19 – Understanding Family Violence and Property Entitlements
    How abuse can affect how assets are divided.

    25:19 – Should You Mention Domestic Violence in Family Court?
    Legal perspectives on disclosure and protection.

    25:50 – Spousal Maintenance: Know When and How to Ask
    Why it's often overlooked—and how to advocate for yourself.

    26:43 – Myth Busting: Are Addbacks Still Used in Property Settlements?
    Clarifying a misunderstood financial concept in family law.

    28:57 – Myth #5: "Superannuation Must Be Split 50/50"
    Exploring how super splitting really works under Australian law.

    32:16 – How to Educate Yourself and Work Better with Your Lawyer
    Tips for being informed, assertive, and legally empowered.

    35:32 – Final Thoughts and How to Enrol in the Divorce Course
    Practical next steps and how to get more support.

    41:53 – Listener Reviews and Community Shoutouts
    Sharing your feedback and how to get involved.

    Resources

    Central Practice Directions

    https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

    Free Disclosure Checklist

    https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist



    Episode Links

    Superannuation and Equalising super https://youtu.be/2BQEHmIwjio?si=kWg9F8c8rh4X8HqB



    🚨 Support Services:

    • 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

    • Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)


    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

    📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

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    44 mins
  • Child Inclusive Mediation: Risks, Realities, and Red Flags

    Child Inclusive Mediation: Risks, Realities, and Red Flags
    Nov 12 2025
    Listen to this episode if...

    • You've been offered child inclusive mediation and don't know what to expect

    • You're worried about how separation is affecting your child

    • You're in a high-conflict co-parenting situation or dealing with coercive control

    • You've been told that involving your child in mediation will "help"

    • You want to make informed, child-centered decisions in your family law journey

    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia.

    In this powerful episode, Mum and I dive into a topic that's being promoted more and more in family law: Child Inclusive Mediation. On the surface, it sounds like a child-focused solution. But is it really in the best interest of your child?

    We break down what child inclusive mediation actually involves, why it's not always as neutral or helpful as it's made out to be, and the serious emotional and legal implications it can have especially in high-conflict separations or situations involving coercive control.

    From personal reflections to legal insights, we share why we're concerned about this process and what you need to consider before agreeing to include your child in any mediation setting.

    What You'll Learn

    • What child inclusive mediation really means in practice

    • The difference between therapeutic support vs. pressure on children to speak up

    • When this process might backfire emotionally or legally

    • Why family reports may be a safer and more protective alternative

    • Red flags and questions to ask before you say yes

    ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Is Child Inclusive Mediation Helpful or Harmful?

    00:00 – Introduction: What Is Child Inclusive Mediation?
    An overview of this growing mediation trend in family law and why it's controversial.

    01:29 – How the Mediation Process Works in Parenting Disputes
    Understanding how mediation fits into separation and custody discussions.

    03:44 – Defining Child Inclusive Mediation in Australian Family Law
    Breaking down what actually happens when children are included in mediation.

    05:52 – The Risks and Red Flags of Child Inclusive Mediation
    Emotional pressure, manipulation, and when this process may do more harm than good.

    08:00 – Confidentiality Issues and the Emotional Toll on Children
    What children are told, how their information is used, and the psychological impact.

    13:42 – The Problem with Over-Interviewing Children in Family Law
    Why repeated interviews can traumatize kids and undermine the process.

    20:00 – Real Concerns About Child Inclusive Mediation in Practice
    Legal and ethical questions raised by lawyers, parents, and professionals.

    21:07 – How Child Inclusive Mediation Affects Older Children
    Teen-specific concerns, autonomy, and the danger of putting kids in the middle.

    23:42 – Family Reports vs. Child Inclusive Mediation
    A safer alternative? What to expect from a court-ordered family report.

    24:41 – DIY Divorce Blueprint: Free Resource Mentioned
    How to get practical tools to guide you through separation and co-parenting.

    28:27 – Key Questions to Ask Before Agreeing to Child Inclusive Mediation
    What to consider if this process has been suggested to you.

    32:49 – Final Thoughts: Protecting Your Child's Voice and Mental Health
    Wrapping up with a parent-first, child-protective perspective.

    Resources

    Central Practice Directions

    https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd

    Free Disclosure Checklist

    https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

    🚨 Support Services:

    • 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)

    • Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)


    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

    📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!

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    38 mins
  • Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know

    Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know
    Nov 4 2025
    Listen to this episode if... You're newly separated and trying to figure out parenting arrangements. You don't have court orders yet and things are already getting tense. Your ex is unreliable, manipulative, or emotionally unpredictable. You're feeling pressured to agree to arrangements that feel unsafe or unfair. You want to avoid court but don't want to be taken advantage of. Trying to co-parent after separation without court orders? This episode offers a general discussion that may help you better understand the common challenges many face during this stage. Mum and I talk through the confusion, conflict, and emotional chaos that often arise when parenting without formal agreements in place. We explore how co-parenting typically unfolds in the early days post-separation, the general differences between parenting plans and court orders, and what can happen when one parent starts making sudden changes like; withholding time with the kids, shifting pick-up arrangements, or insisting on "rules" that were never agreed upon. If you're feeling unsure about whether to formalize your arrangements, being pressured into something that feels unfair, or just don't know where to start, this episode provides a helpful overview, insights, and discussion points to consider. Please remember this is not legal advice. Always speak with a qualified professional for advice on your specific situation. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know Episode Timeline Summary: 00:00 – Introduction: Co-Parenting After Separation Setting the stage for co-parenting challenges in the early days of separation. 01:23 – Myths and Misunderstandings About Separation Rules What many parents get wrong after they separate—and what's important to know. 03:42 – How to Decide Where the Kids Live After Separation Living arrangements, routines, and initial decisions—without court orders. 07:48 – Co-Parenting with a Manipulative or Controlling Ex Recognizing red flags and what to consider if you're being pressured or gaslit. 13:46 – Strategies for Co-Parenting with an Avoidant Ex When your ex won't engage or avoids parenting responsibilities. 18:40 – Managing High-Conflict Co-Parenting Situations What to do when emotions run high and agreements fall apart. 20:45 – Parenting Plans vs Court Orders: What's the Difference? Legal strength, enforceability, and when each option makes sense. 24:02 – Making Parenting Agreements Without Going to Court What to include, how to approach it, and setting healthy boundaries. 24:31 – Signs You're Dealing with a Manipulative Co-Parent Control tactics, emotional abuse, and maintaining your parenting role. 25:40 – Do You Need Court Orders or Is a Parenting Plan Enough? Legal protections and risks of informal arrangements. 28:38 – What to Do When Your Ex Avoids All Responsibility How to respond when you're carrying the full parenting load alone. 31:31 – High-Conflict Parenting Post-Separation Tips for managing ongoing disputes and protecting the kids. 33:51 – When Your Ex Ignores the Parenting Agreement Understanding your rights and the next steps if the agreement isn't followed. 35:02 – When to Consider Court Orders: Timing and Triggers Knowing the signs that it's time to formalize your parenting arrangement. 40:04 – Family Violence, Supervised Contact & Legal Protections When safety becomes an issue—and what support is available. 47:43 – Final Thoughts: Stay Grounded and Protect Your Peace Encouragement, next steps, and key reminders moving forward. Resources Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist Episode Links The Hidden Connection between Property and Parenting in Divorce https://youtu.be/w0-TnEjMmhs?si=_y1n3i0fejy04W2L 10 Essential Boundaries in Divorce https://youtu.be/5KSMYe6ctVE?si=nqq4fmavJGu25Z2X 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
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    50 mins
  • Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart!

    Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart!
    Oct 29 2025
    Listen to this episode if... You're divorcing or separating from someone who owns or runs a business. You're in a family business with your ex and things are getting murky. You suspect your ex is hiding assets or undervaluing the business. You're overwhelmed by the complexity of business valuations in divorce. You're preparing for mediation or court and want to understand your options. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. Divorcing a business owner or running a business with your soon-to-be ex? You must hear this. In this eye-opening episode, Mum and I dive into the most common and sneaky tricks business owners use during separation and how to stay one step ahead. From manipulating business valuations to hiding assets in clone companies, refusing disclosure, and even dragging staff into the mess, we break down each tactic with real-world examples and strategies you can use. Whether you're preparing for mediation or already deep in the property settlement process, this is a must-listen for anyone who suspects their ex isn't playing fair when a business is involved. Episode Timeline Summary: Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart! 00:00 – Intro: Divorce and Business Ownership Understanding why divorcing a business owner is uniquely challenging. 01:06 – Real-Life Divorce Scenarios with a Business Involved What happens when you're in business with your ex—or they own one. 03:02 – Trick #1: Making the Business Seem Worthless How business owners hide value before property settlement. 08:12 – Trick #2: Starting a New Business to Hide Assets The "mirror business" strategy and how to uncover it. 09:26 – Trick #3: Issuing New Shares to Dilute Ownership What to do when your share of the business suddenly shrinks. 12:41 – Trick #4: Hiding Income and Creating Fake Tax Debts How income manipulation affects child support and property division. 17:58 – Trick #5: Refusing to Allow a Business Valuation Steps to take when your ex delays or avoids business valuation. 19:58 – Legal Disclaimer: General Education Only Reminder to seek personal legal advice for your situation. 20:39 – How Courts Handle Business Valuation & Disclosure Why you don't need full financial disclosure to move forward. 21:31 – Trick #6: Cooking the Books & Cash Deals Spotting hidden income, second books, and cash-based deception. 26:39 – Trick #7: Financial Abuse via Job Loss or Sacking What to do when your ex cuts your income post-separation. 32:01 – Trick #8: Superannuation and Self-Managed Funds Risks of SMSFs and how assets may be hidden or misused. 36:39 – Court Penalties for Business-Related Divorce Tricks When shady business tactics backfire in property settlements. 40:36 – Listener Review & Free Coaching Call Giveaway Shoutout to a listener + how to win a free call with Mum. Resources Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] FedCFamC1A 126 (23 July 2025) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/126.html Shamon & Shamon [2025] FedCFamC1A 150 (8 September 2025) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/150.html Episode Links Your Business and Divorce (old episode) https://open.spotify.com/episode/0CwIeW1ZHTphzvhPdlq2Bf?si=JCtAHG7NTom5YSceqdSJ2Q Weapons of Tax Destruction https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Bvc2JFmgcLMpIZLIXEwVR?si=KT3UdjZRQAWjDRp3EMXhiw DIY Disclosure https://open.spotify.com/episode/49yOIB1GLDmXgeZCXkfyJS?si=nhgq3QQlQge-CSYLkMGKBg 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
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    42 mins
  • Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids

    Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids
    Oct 22 2025
    🎧 Listen to this episode if… You constantly walk away from conversations with your ex feeling drained, confused, or second-guessing yourself. Co-parenting feels more like a battleground than teamwork. You suspect your ex might be narcissistic or manipulative, but you're not sure what to do about it. You want to learn how to protect your children emotionally while staying calm and in control. You're tired of being baited into fights and want tools to respond, not react. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances. 📑 Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist 💻 The Divorce Course Free Resources https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au What You'll Learn: Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids 💔 Recognising the Signs: Mia explains how narcissistic or high-conflict co-parents reveal themselves — through blame-shifting, entitlement, image obsession, and control. ⚖️ The Court Reality Check: Lyn shares why using the word "narcissist" in court can backfire — and how to instead describe their behaviours (the "ingredients" rather than "the cake"). 🧱 Setting Boundaries That Stick: How to stop being pulled into chaos, manage constant conflicts, and accept "who you're dealing with" so you can regain power. 🧒 Protecting the Kids: Red flags to watch for in how your ex uses or manipulates the children — and how to model calm, consistent parenting when they don't. 💬 Parenting Teenagers of Narcissistic Exes: Mia and Lyn dive into the tricky years — when kids start echoing their narcissistic parent's behaviour — and how to hold firm without turning into your ex. 💪 Your Healing & Hope: Why the most powerful move isn't "winning" against your ex — it's rebuilding your self-trust, removing their emotional "buttons," and staying in your own lane. 🔗 Guest Expert Mia from Grey Rock Consulting — https://www.greyrockconsulting.com.au/ Lawyer, founder, and Australia's first certified Master High Conflict Negotiation Coach (trained by Rebecca Zung). Mia helps clients and lawyers navigate high-conflict personalities with strategy, clarity, and self-preservation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – 00:00 — Intro: Are You Co-Parenting with a Narcissist? Signs to Watch For 00:34 — Meet Mia from Grey Rock Consulting: Expert in Narcissists & High-Conflict Exes 02:11 — What Narcissistic Co-Parenting Really Looks Like (and Why It's So Draining) 13:51 — How Narcissistic Co-Parenting Affects Kids Emotionally and Psychologically 18:25 — Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist: Staying Calm & In Control 21:49 — What to Include (and Avoid) in Parenting Orders or Plans 26:22 — Custody Chaos: When Your Narcissistic Ex Twists the Rules 26:45 — Unexpected Changes & Power Plays: How to Handle Parenting Plan Disputes 27:32 — Dealing with Difficult Co-Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate 29:12 — Emotional Recovery: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse 29:53 — When to Push Back (and When to Let It Go) in Co-Parenting Conflicts 35:08 — Teenagers & Narcissistic Parents: What to Do When Kids Mirror the Ex 37:38 — Maintaining Boundaries, Consistency & Emotional Safety at Home 40:39 — Becoming the Positive Role Model Your Kids Need 43:22 — Focusing on You: Self-Growth, Strength & Rebuilding Confidence 46:44 — Where to Get Help: Support, Counselling & Co-Parenting Resources 49:15 — Final Thoughts: Finding Freedom from a Narcissistic Co-Parent Related Episodes: Is it emotional abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg Post Divorce Glow Up https://open.spotify.com/episode/7JoSZEPWiMgM1N1G1C6WSU?si=HDBpOPXqTnmzzrIudA16tQ Divorcing an abuser https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g 🎙️ Mediation or Manipulation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew 🎙️ The Narcissist Playbook https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK 🚨 Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support Police – Call 000 if you are in danger ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
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    50 mins
  • The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Steps to Emotional Recovery after Abuse

    The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Steps to Emotional Recovery after Abuse
    Oct 15 2025
    🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💔 You've left an abusive relationship but still feel stuck, numb, or confused. 🧠 You're trying to understand why you still feel controlled, scared, or exhausted. 💬 You want to know what healing actually looks like and how long it takes. 💪 You're ready to start finding yourself again after years of walking on eggshells. 🌸 You want to rebuild your confidence, identity, and hope for the future. 💫 You just need to hear that full recovery is possible ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances. Leaving an abusive relationship doesn't mean the pain or confusion stops overnight. In this heartfelt episode, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krazi Kirova, who specialises in trauma recovery and emotional abuse. Together, they explore what happens after you leave the emotional crash, the exhaustion, and eventually, the glow-up. You'll learn what the research says about post-separation abuse, why healing takes time, and the eight key stages of recovery every survivor eventually moves through. Krazi shares powerful, evidence-based insights on rebuilding safety, identity, and connection and why the "post-divorce glow-up" you see online is about so much more than appearance. If you're in that stage where you feel broken, tired, and unsure of who you are this episode is for you. It's about hope, self-reclamation, and the small steps that slowly lead to peace, power, and joy again. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Healing After Abuse 00:00 – Introduction: Leaving abuse and why the pain doesn't stop overnight 01:00 – Support reminder: Lifeline, 1800 RESPECT, and why safety comes first 02:00 – What keeps you stuck after leaving an abusive partner 03:00 – Why recovery can't begin until you feel physically and emotionally safe 05:00 – The psychological "hurricane" of separation — and why it gets worse before it gets better 07:00 – Understanding post-separation abuse and coercive control 09:00 – How predictability helps survivors regain power and calm 11:00 – How courts are improving in recognising coercive control and trauma 12:00 – The physical and emotional depletion from years of abuse 13:00 – The "post-divorce glow-up" — and why your energy eventually returns 17:00 – How long does it really take to heal after abuse? 18:00 – What research says about recovery — it's not linear 19:00 – The 8 key tasks for healing and recovery 20:00 – Step 1: Establishing safety — physical, emotional, and financial 22:00 – Step 2: Educating yourself and re-examining the relationship 25:00 – Step 3: Rebuilding identity — remembering who you are 29:00 – Step 4: Rebuilding social connections and support networks 32:00 – Step 5: Being selective about who you let in — healthy relationships only 33:00 – Step 6: Taking time before dating again 35:00 – Step 7: Embracing freedom, autonomy, and decision-making 38:00 – Step 8: Accepting recovery as a process — patience and self-kindness 42:00 – Courts and trauma-informed change in the family law system 44:00 – Step 9: Healing mentally and physically — reconnecting with your body 46:00 – The power of community, spirituality, and belonging in recovery 47:00 – Final reflections: "It's a journey — and you are getting somewhere." Resources Mentioned: 🧩 Kirova Psychology – Personal Resources https://kirovapsychology.com.au/personal-resources/ 📑 Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist 💻 The Divorce Course Free Resources https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Related Episodes: 🎙️ Is It Emotional Abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11 Is it emotional abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg Divorcing an abuser https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g 🎙️ Mediation or Manipulation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew 🎙️ When Mediation Goes Wrong (And What You Can Do Next) https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv 🎙️ The Narcissist Playbook https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK 🚨 Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support Police – Call 000 if you are in danger ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.
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    48 mins
  • Mediation Made Easier: 5 Things to Prepare So You Don't Freeze, Fold, or Fail

    Mediation Made Easier: 5 Things to Prepare So You Don't Freeze, Fold, or Fail
    Oct 8 2025
    🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💬 You've got mediation coming up and don't know where to start. 😰 You're feeling stressed or unprepared to face your ex about custody or property. 📑 You want to know what to bring and how to prepare your documents. ⚖️ You need tips for negotiating calmly and confidently. 🚩 You're dealing with a high-conflict or manipulative ex. 💸 You want to avoid costly mistakes and stay out of family court. 🧠 You just want to feel ready and in control on the day. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. You're about to head into mediation and the very thought of it makes your palms sweat. Maybe someone just mentioned "mediation" and now you're spiraling — wondering what to say, what to bring, and how to keep calm. This episode is for you if you want to feel confident, organised, and prepared (instead of panicked) before you sit down at that mediation table. Mum ( a family lawyer with over 35 years experience) and I walk you through the Top 5 things you need to do before mediation — practical, emotional, and strategic prep that will make a huge difference on the day. These aren't just lawyer tips — they're the real-world insights we've seen help countless people get through mediation feeling calmer, clearer, and more in control. We'll talk about what to do if your ex is high-conflict, avoidant, manipulative, or genuinely amicable; how to prepare your documents and disclosure; and why it's so important to have a plan for both success and failure. Plus, we touch on how to handle mediation safely if there's been family violence Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist ⏱️ Episode Timeline – Mediation Preparation Tips 00:00 – What Is Mediation in Family Law? A clear introduction to how mediation works in divorce and separation cases. 01:24 – Meet the Hosts: Family Law and Divorce Experts Get to know your guides as they break down practical mediation strategies. 01:44 – Listener Stories and Divorce Mediation Experiences Real listener insights and why mediation can be both powerful and stressful. 03:18 – Understanding the Mediation Process in Divorce What happens during family law mediation — and how to get the best outcome. 05:17 – How to Prepare for Mediation: Know What You Want (and Don't Want) Tips for identifying your priorities before stepping into the room. 14:27 – Creating Your Divorce Negotiation Plan Learn how to build a negotiation strategy based on your goals and your ex's personality type. 23:06 – What Documents to Bring to Mediation Essential paperwork and evidence to prepare for property or parenting mediation. 24:09 – Court-Ordered Mediation and Section 60I Certificates Explained What happens if mediation is required before going to court. 27:24 – How to Write a Confidential Case Outline for Mediation Preparing your case outline to stay focused and calm. 28:28 – Preparing for Financial Disclosure in Mediation How to gather, label, and present financial documents effectively. 33:30 – Planning for Mediation Outcomes (Success or Failure) What to do if mediation works — or doesn't. 41:59 – Mediation and Family Violence: How to Stay Safe When to use shuttle mediation, safety plans, or legal support. 45:13 – The Top 5 Tips to Prepare for Family Law Mediation Our biggest takeaways to help you walk in calm and confident. 48:41 – Final Thoughts, Resources, and Next Steps How to keep moving forward after mediation — whatever the outcome. Resources Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist Episode Links MEDIATION OR MANIPULATION https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew?si=t8swCVk2SoG6xaqE9I-D9Q Can you really mediate with a narcissist https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11?si=MlD8Ku1FS02PjjLjjnlokw Do you need a lawyer for mediation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/37Zn59zn6sVlBIU0kePY7K?si=8Ih-0c5cRLuCKOPbzVVrqw When Mediation goes wrong and what you can do next https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv?si=h9rJo77PR3qG7_YV9obAuQ What happens after mediation - what if you change your mind https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK?si=EmjV30k1SQWp7IcqX9Yz4Q 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific ...
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    50 mins