What does covert narcissistic abuse look like when it unfolds slowly over decades—without obvious explosions, without outsiders seeing the damage?

In this episode, Renee speaks with Shari, who shares her lived experience of spending 42 years in a marriage that gradually became confusing, destabilizing, and emotionally exhausting. Shari reflects on the subtle but devastating dynamics of covert narcissism, including triangulation, passive aggression, emotional coldness, cognitive dissonance, and the profound impact these patterns had on her nervous system and sense of self.

This conversation explores what happens when the person you thought you knew reveals a different reality—and how deeply disorienting it can be to reconcile the marriage you believed you had with the truth you eventually see. Shari also speaks honestly about grief, anger, self-blame, and the moment she realized she had to choose herself in order to survive.

Most importantly, this episode offers hope. Shari shares what healing looks like later in life, how self-care is not selfish, and why it is never too late to reclaim peace, autonomy, and a sense of wholeness.

If you’ve ever questioned your reality, felt invisible in a long-term relationship, or wondered if it’s too late to start over—this episode is for you.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

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Many survivors of covert narcissistic abuse feel calmer the moment they stop explaining themselves. In this episode, we explore why over-explaining becomes a survival response, how hypervigilance and emotional exhaustion keep the nervous system on high alert, and why pausing brings real relief.

For many people, explaining didn’t come from insecurity—it came from learning that safety depended on being understood. Over time, this pattern trains the body to stay in fight-or-flight, constantly preparing to defend, clarify, or soften. Renee shares a personal “popcorn moment,” a rare instance of staying calm while reactive behavior unfolded, and how stepping back made it possible to observe patterns clearly without taking them personally.

This is not an episode about making decisions, setting boundaries, or taking action. It’s about permission. Permission to pause. Permission to stop explaining, fixing, or defending. And permission to let your nervous system settle before asking yourself what comes next.

If clarity has left you feeling tired instead of empowered, this episode offers relief—not urgency—and reinforces that pausing is not avoidance. It is regulation.

DISCLAIMER:
THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dating someone with covert narcissistic traits rarely feels abusive at first. In fact, it often feels intoxicating—intense attention, deep emotional connection, and a sense of being chosen in a way you may never have experienced before. This episode explores why that intensity feels so powerful—and why it so often turns confusing, controlling, and unsafe.

In this deeply honest conversation, Jacquie Roar shares her personal story of navigating covert narcissism in a dating relationship. She talks openly about love bombing, emotional manipulation, isolation, and how her sense of self slowly eroded long before she had words for what was happening. Like many survivors, she believed the problem was something she could fix—if only she tried harder, loved better, or showed more understanding.

Together, we explore how covert narcissistic abuse impacts the nervous system, why leaving can feel harder than staying, and why the aftermath often includes depression, grief, and intense self-doubt rather than immediate relief. Jacquie also speaks about the moment that changed everything—when survival became more important than hope—and how healing required learning to accept healthy love after chaos.

This episode is for anyone who has ever questioned themselves after a relationship ended and wondered:

• Why did it feel so good at first?

• Why did I get smaller over time?

• Why did peace feel unfamiliar after I left?

You are not weak. You were responding to a dynamic designed to confuse, bond, and control. This conversation offers clarity, validation, and hope—without pressure, judgment, or diagnosis.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
02:56 Jacquie's Background and Music Career
04:39 Understanding Narcissism and Red Flags
10:07 Recognizing Emotional Abuse
17:22 Self-Care and Healing Journey
25:31 Finding Her Voice Through Music
29:16 The Turning Point and Empowerment
32:44 Final Thoughts and Messages for the Audience

DISCLAIMER:
THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.