Adam and Kyle strap in for a full interstellar mission, only to realise they have no idea where they’re going. The big question is why we’d leave Earth in the first place, and whether the real goal is a new home for when things go wrong here. That leads to the Goldilocks zone, a very long list of exoplanets, and Adam falling down a Wikipedia hole of planets with names that neither of them can pronounce.

Kyle isn’t convinced by any of it. How do scientists know what temperature a planet is, or what it’s made of? And has anyone actually looked at Mars through a telescope? From there it’s eclipses, star signs, the real difference between astronomy and astrology, and a new theory about how planets are made that Adam is not ready to accept. The big questions follow: is the universe expanding, where is its centre, and what would we do if we ever got somewhere light years away?

The guys end up at a possible answer in wormholes and a lot of confusing physics, and decide that the speed of light deserves its own episode. Next time, they go faster.

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Kyle opens with an emergency announcement: the aliens are here. This week the guys work out what an invasion would actually look like. Is it all Independence Day explosions and humanity uniting against a common enemy, or would a smarter race take a slower, subtler approach and ease us in without us noticing? And is it just coincidence that “alien invasion” is initialed “AI”?

They weigh up our best defences, from drones to the question of what kind of alien you’re even fighting. Starship Troopers, Independence Day and a few other sci-fi favourites get dragged in as evidence. There’s also a debate about whether we’re being drip-fed the truth, and whether you’d be more willing to hop on an alien spaceship or one of Elon’s rockets.

It ends up a long way from where it started, with a few shaky facts about our solar system and one very confident planet-temperature theory that Kyle refuses to believe. Next time, we leave the planet: space travel is up.

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Adam opens the show with Kyle in the back of the police van, and the guys spend the week on the right side of the law, or at least close to it. They compare their brushes with the police, from being pulled over to one story that proves you should never let a rookie try out his new handcuff move on you. One of them also ends up giving a very unexpected statement.

From there it’s a debate on what the police are really up against: pay, hours, budgets, and whether a world with no crime could ever exist. Along the way, one of them brings in a book recommendation that, once again, has aliens in it.

It’s part true crime, part society-fixing, and part “do you ever read anything without aliens?” Next time, the invasion begins.

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Kyle kicks things off by announcing he’s about to fight Adam, the first time the “in the left corner, in the right corner” intro has ever been relevant. This week the guys put the gloves on and swap fight stories, and it turns out one of them has a darker side than you’d expect.

From school playground scraps to martial arts gyms, they ask who actually wins a fight, who should never be messed with, and why the quiet ones are always the dangerous ones. There are some questionable training decisions, a few lessons learned the hard way, and at least one story that ends with someone feeling very sorry for themselves.

It’s part war stories, part friendly warning, and entirely proof that neither of them is as tough as they’d like to think. Next time, they find out what happens when the law gets involved.

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Adam and Kyle are back at the bar for round two of the drunkard stories, and this week they go looking for the darkest holes. Kyle kicks things off with a teenage house party: ten lads, an empty house and a frankly worrying amount of vodka. They ask why teenage boys drink like that (bravado, competition, and no idea what they're doing) and whether booze gives you confidence or just an excuse to be a dick. Along the way they remember Hooch, WKD and South Africa's Red Square, the furry teeth the next morning, and the drunken backflip attempts that felt totally doable at the time.

Then the stories start. Adam recalls seven beers necked in a row in Australia, a taxi ride of "don't be sick, Adam", and a sobering trip into the waves the next day. Then comes a hostel room in Surfers Paradise, where four strangers woke up to a mystery traffic cone. Kyle tells the tale of streaking through the neighbourhood, hiding in a bush and being discovered by a dog walker. He also admits to an unfortunate call of nature against a car in South Africa, which brought a car guard over. He avoided a fight, but only because, in Kyle's words, the guard knew he'd win.

It's chaotic, cringey and full of stories neither of them would repeat at a wedding. Next time, the guys put their fists up: from drunkards to fighting.

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Kyle and Adam keep digging through the history books for old-fashioned recipes, and they immediately fall out over corned beef hash. Kyle swears by it (Spam version included), while Adam is disgusted by anything that came out of a tin. From there they work through wartime cooking: the meatless Woolton pie, the eggless, butterless, milkless Warcake, and Victorian mock turtle soup, which leads to a lot of confusion about what a turtle tastes like, when the Victorian era actually was, and the Great Fire of London.

The tangents keep coming. Alice in Wonderland and the original Winnie the Pooh books turn out to be much weirder than expected, and sherry gets an unexpectedly thorough investigation (it's a Spanish white wine, and no, the port and starboard joke doesn't land). Adam remembers a wine tasting where his friend's very direct Russian wife shut down the sommelier's sales pitch, and the guys ask why the British can't be that blunt without a few drinks in them.

Which brings us to Adam's first properly drunk night: a staff party, a Guinness and Baileys, a lot of regret, and a kind chef called Jason. Next week, the drunkard stories continue.

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Captain Adam and co-pilot Kyle take the mic for a full pre-flight briefing on how to behave at 30,000 feet. It starts with peanut allergies, and a questionable detour into whether Darwin got it wrong, before hitting the big one: reclining your seat. Adam still hasn't forgiven the woman on his Maldives honeymoon flight, and he has plenty to say about it.

From there it's dress codes (pyjamas on planes, pyjamas in Asda, pyjamas being tried on in the aisle), how much drinking is too much, and whether anyone has ever genuinely declared anything at customs. The duty-free myth gets dismantled too, complete with rigorous Toblerone price analysis and a theory about your boarding-pass scan tracking your alcohol intake.

It all ends where nobody expected: Komodo dragon eggs, a recipe for dragon's breath pickled eggs, and a genuine education on what a ramp is. Which sets up next week nicely — the guys are raiding the history books for old-fashioned recipes.

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The guys pitch their tents this week and immediately go looking for a toilet. Adam's Glastonbury long-drop trauma sets the tone before they try to pin down what actually counts as a festival. Does a one-day food fair qualify, or does it need mud, camping and three days of questionable decisions?

From there it's Burning Man (cult or art project?), Woodstock's surprisingly infrequent schedule, and the genuinely staggering 660 million attendance of India's Maha Kumbh Mela. Then Oktoberfest takes over completely, spiralling into a maths-based investigation of how many tanker lorries it takes to move 6.7 million litres of beer, a Guinness comparison nobody asked for, and a newfound respect for the women hauling ten steins at a time.

It all wraps with a true story from a recent flight, where a maths disagreement between Adam and Kyle was settled by a stranger in headphones who'd clearly been listening the whole time. Which raises an uncomfortable question for next week: airplane etiquette, and just how much your neighbours can hear.

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