Ever felt trapped in the "machine" of high performance?! Is that machine raging against you?! Today we explore the complexities of high performance in family dynamics, particularly in the context of youth sports with our ambitious, high achieving teen athletes and performers. We will discuss the risk that is present with ambition but also why you as parents should not necessarily run away from it. Communication and agreements will help you mitigate the risk--they are two critical components to help you avoid the traps in the high performance "machine." Through metaphors of ocean waves and lifeguarding, we will illustrate the need for proactive parenting and the value of regular check-ins to navigate the challenges of highly competitive environments. Let's gooooooooooooooo!

The Timestamps!

00:00 Raging Against the Machine: High Performance and Family Dynamics

03:25 Navigating the Waves: Understanding High Performance Expectations

05:56 The Silent Tension: Communication Gaps in Parenting

09:00 Preparing for the Unexpected: Conversations with Teens

11:45 Lifeguard Parenting: Being Proactive in High Performance Situations

Takeaways

-High performance creates pressure and expectations.

-Parents often unintentionally place their teen athletes in challenging situations.

-Communication gaps can lead to silent tensions in relationships.

-It's important to prepare teens for potential risks in high performance.

-Regular check-ins can help parents understand their teens' pressures.

-Expectations should be replaced with agreements for better understanding.

-Understanding the risks and underlying dynamics of high performance environments is crucial for effective parenting.

-Parents can act as lifeguards, helping their teen athletes navigate challenges.

-Being proactive can prevent kids from getting overwhelmed.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% Free Thinking Tool: The Question Only Conversation. Give it a whirl today and watch your relationship with your teen athlete or performer trend upward!

-Nate & Steve

NOTE: This is Part 2 of our conversation with Andrea. Check out Episode 121 for Part 1! In this episode with Dr. Andrea Mata we knock out gentle parenting and expose it's major flaws while exploring and defining how to parent well in this Gen Z world. Andrea ("Dr. Dre") spells out the simple ways we can authoritatively parent and lead better.

If you are the ambitious parent of a go-getter teen athlete or performer, this episode is custom built for you. We hope you enjoy it--let us know what you think by commenting or sending us feedback at createtransformbecome@gmail.com. THANKS!

The Timestamps!

00:00 Intro -- This is Part 2--listen to EP 121 for Part 1

02:31 Emotional Regulation Strategies for Teens

12:20 The Debate on Gentle Parenting

18:45 Balancing Authority and Connection in Parenting

21:41 Common Pitfalls in Parent-Teen Connections

26:08 Embracing Natural Consequences in Parenting

27:26 The Impact of 'Be Careful' on Child Development

29:37 Understanding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Teens

31:47 The Importance of Allowing Struggles for Growth

32:39 Connecting with Dr. Andrea Mata: Resources and Social Media

34:38 Thriving with the Stars--Charity/Dance Experience!

37:18 Ohio State Football & Michigan '24: A Diehard Fan's Perspective

43:52 Encouragement for Overwhelmed Parents

Takeaways

-Emotional regulation is crucial for both parents and children.

-Parents should teach emotional regulation skills during calm moments.

-Modeling behavior is more effective than lecturing children.

-Gentle parenting may lead to negative outcomes for children.

-Setting high expectations within warmth leads to better developmental outcomes.

-Listening to teens without lecturing is essential for connection.

-Natural consequences help children learn from their mistakes.

-Overuse of 'be careful' can hinder children's ability to assess risks.

-OCD in teens requires careful management.

-Parents can always develop new skills to improve their parenting.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% Free Thinking Tool: The Question Only Conversation. Give it a whirl today and watch your relationship with your teen athlete or performer trend upward!

-Nate & Steve

"Our bad!" We should've recorded this episode years ago! All kidding aside, "my bad" stinks and we'll tell you why in today's episode where we explore the concept of apologies! Particularly focusing on the phrase "my bad" and its implications. We'll discuss the sincerity behind admitting fault and "apologizing," the importance of genuine change, and introduce "The Repair Loop" as a tool for better, more effective apologies. And it will all come down to the role of parents in modeling sincere apologies for their teens and the need for actionable change following an acknowledgment of mistakes.

The Timestamps!

00:00 The Meaning of Apologies

03:13 The Impact of Language on Apologies

06:18 The Psychology Behind 'My Bad'

09:18 The Repair Loop: A Tool for Genuine Change

12:08 Modeling Behavior for Your Teens

13:14 Real-World Examples of Apologies in Action

15:20 Focusing on Your Standards and Values

17:52 Creating Meaningful Change

Takeaways

-Apologies can often be insincere and merely lip service.

-The phrase 'my bad' is a weak apology.

-Sincerity in apologies is crucial for genuine change.

-The Repair Loop consists of acknowledging, analyzing, and acting to repair mistakes.

-Modeling proper apology behavior is important for parents.

-Teens often mimic their parents' apology styles.

-Concrete actions following an apology validate the sincerity of the statement.

-Understanding the underlying values can enhance the effectiveness of apologies.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% Free Thinking Tool: The Question Only Conversation. Give it a whirl today and watch your relationship with your teen athlete or performer trend upward!

-Nate & Steve