Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. The boys open up with some reminiscing about how hot that crazy chick who saw a fake person on the plane was. Then Andy brings in a Harbor Freight survival knife and gets roasted non-stop by O’Neill. The boys talk about the overall plan of all presidents in America. Then they invent an amazing new survival product called “The Goon Blade”. O’Neill tries to remember the melody to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and absolutely butchers it. Then we present a new segment: “O’Neill Tries To Remember The Bible”.

Full Episodes at Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan opens the episode with a good old fashioned fart in a small, closed room. Then there’s some Machu Pichu talk and O’Neill can’t get over when it was built. They talk ultra light planes for bit. O’Neill gets food poisoning and tries to pitch dessert subs to Andy but he blows the pitch by farting in the room while talking about food. Then the some boys plan a museum/ gallery exhibit and O’Neill rehearses his Terry Gross interview style. Deportations hit home for Andy. Then they tighten up their pitch for the Peter Pan Exorcist and flesh out all the fixins of the movie.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest

The Pope has passed on and the boys have some theories about it. Then Andy’s friend takes someone on a tour of a shady under the boardwalk secret club. Andy finds some movies on Tubi that O’Neill can’t get enough of. Ryan has a detailed medical report of the leg lengthening procedure that’s sweeping the nation’s short kings. Andy eats too much weed and it keeps him up all night. O’Neill has a huge problem with this especially when he finds out that the main reason Andy couldn’t sleep was seeing a picture of a demon trapped in glass on Reddit.

full episode available at patreon.com/slopquest

O’Neill gets mad when someone doesn’t know what the term “gooner’ means. Then Andrew dissociates at a Rite Aid. Then the boys talk about the perfect legal judge for their podcast. O’Neill leaves a bunch of .357 ammo all over the apartment and Andrew ones up with a lube based gum for oral sex. Then there’s a legit Earthquake during the podcast . They deep dive on height length surgeries now that there’s more data. Andy explains Catholic sex rules to O’Neill and they look for loopholes in language and O’Neill tries to convince Andy that all nuns are secretly horny. Then they talk about national IQ scores and try to break down 3hat that means for the world. Then Andy gets mad at the state of O’Neill’s recording studio. Then the boys make a new movie pitch that’s got unbelievable legs to it.

Full episodes here: Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy welcomes everyone to the show and talks about a kid’s YouTube channel that is so stupid it makes kids non-verbal. Ryan gets an outrageous Venmo request and they try to come up with heartstring pulling Venmo scams. Then they talk Less Than Zero and eyebrow mites. Then the boys talk about airport spaghetti and meatballs from DFW 711. Then the boys diagnose American bowel movements in the Great British Dump off. O’Neill brags about his Cambodian dumps and Andy worries about the Khmer Rouge hiding in toilets with machetes. Then O’Neill is still angry at Arnold Schwarzenegger for banging his dumpy maid. Then they try to figure out the sex lives of conjoined twins and that tiny lady from TLC has a new boyfriend.

full episode at Patreon.com/slopquest

Rats are at war with crows in Southern California. Ryan tells Andy what “Hotwifing” js and they weigh in on the pros and cons. Then Andy’s wife has a message for O’Neill…about how much she loves the Jamaican Me Horny Spring Break album. Then O’Neill promises to never censor himself or conform to ridiculous societal norms. Then they talk about what’s really inside the Ark of the Covenant. Andy exposes Reiki Healing as a scam through a Reddit post. Then they pitch an action wartime drama called Dog B*mb that’s so good YouTube cuts their live stream.

Listen to the full episode Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan accuses Andy of staying up all night partying. Then Andy gets a new electrical panel and the results are hilarious. Then there’s some bathrobe related neighborhood shenanigans going on and Ryan won’t let Andy play with some new toys he got for her nieces and nephews. Then Andy tells Ryan about the Chinese Sherlock Holmes, “The Honorable Judge Dee”, who solves mysteries by torturing people and talking to ghosts. O’Neill find out about the CEO of Pirate’s Booty who tried to take over an entire town. Andy gets berated at the Dollar Store for “cutting in line”. Andy unclogs a major toilet disaster and Ryan tells him he’s getting played. Then they have a business idea about how to get business men to covertly unstick their balls from the side of their leg.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/c/slopquest It’s St. Patrick’s Day, Ryan is not wearing green and Andy wants to claim his rightful pinchings. Then Andy plays a devasting testimonial about a woman whose heart was broken by a man who wouldn’t let her fart. Then the boys talk about how irresponsible Los Angeles dog owners are and then we find out a dodgy dog secret about ‘O’Neill. Then HGTV does Goon Cave Makeovers. O’Neill chastises Andy for his public bit addiction. Then he talks like a cave man before the come up with a Gooning For God Christian goon plan. Then O’Neill orders a piss test for Andy. Andy contemplates using a paring of step ladders as a nice tv dinner tray. The boys reveal that O’Neill’s studio actually has trash piled to the ceiling because he won’t throw anything away. A listener’s wife won’t let him listen to the podcast while he washes dishes and the boys come to the rescue. And finally, O’Neill remembers how much he hates PF Changs.