Kristan Swan, creator of the guided journal Spaghetti on the Wall, discusses how journaling can evolve across life stages—from childhood “emotion dumps” to adult reflection practices—and why a journal can be a safe, nonjudgmental place to say the “scary” or “ugly” things without harming relationships.

The hosts share barriers to journaling, including fear someone will read it and the challenge of not knowing what to write, and describe how Kristen’s journal provides simple prompts that make daily journaling tangible and quick (about 12–15 minutes).

Kristan explains the journal’s structure: a nonjudgmental observer section to record events, and an “experience evaluator” to identify highs, lows, moments of alignment, and “not so much” experiences—designed to reduce reinforcing negative self-talk that can happen with free-form journaling. She shares personal context (being on her third marriage and earlier choices driven by longing for stability, external answers, and fear of self-knowledge) and how journaling can both document progress and, if filtered through self-criticism, entrench shame. She describes creating the first edition about 10 years ago for business-coaching clients to help awareness “bubble up” when conversations felt like repetitive loops.

Post-COVID exhaustion led her to question business coaching, earn a Master’s in Education, realize academia bureaucracy wasn’t a fit, and reflect on “human doing” patterns, over-saying yes, self-worth, self-reliance, and learning to ask for help. The conversation also explores authenticity in professional identity, shedding rigid expectations, and adopting a creative mindset that welcomes not-knowing, curiosity, and possibility.

Kristan emphasizes that getting still and reflecting daily helps people trust themselves, make choices that do less harm to self and others, and reconnect with what genuinely matters.

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The hosts interview Bev Middleman, a relationship and attachment trauma practitioner and founder of Securely Loved, about how attachment styles shape self-esteem, self-trust, emotional regulation, and relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and romantic partners.

Bev explains attachment as learned behavior formed in childhood patterns of giving and receiving love, and emphasizes it can be unlearned and relearned. She outlines two broad categories—secure vs. insecure attachment—then details the three insecure subtypes: anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and disorganized (fearful-avoidant).

Secure attachment develops from predictable emotional attunement, helping children identify emotions, regulate the nervous system, and communicate needs with boundaries. Insecure attachment exists on a spectrum and is not gendered. Bev describes anxious-preoccupied attachment as driven by an abandonment wound, people-pleasing (fawn) then fighting in conflict, low self-worth, and difficulty with boundaries. Dismissive-avoidant attachment is linked to emotional neglect or stoic/high-demand environments, detachment from emotions, retreating to isolation to self-regulate, and fear of engulfment. Disorganized/fearful-avoidant attachment combines anxious and avoidant traits, is associated with chaotic or abusive upbringings, centers on betrayal wounds, and often shows hot-and-cold intimacy, anger, rage, and hypervigilance.

The conversation connects attachment to stress physiology (fight/flight/fawn/freeze), cortisol, and health. Be sure to take her free quiz at securelyloved.com that provides primary and secondary attachment styles.

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Harnessing Intimacy and Energy for Creativity and Healing with Hani Chang In this episode, we delve into the world of intimacy, healing, and creativity with expert Hani Chang. Known for her bestselling book, 'You Only Live Once: Life and Business and Innovation Style,' Hani shares her transformative journey from business and health coaching to intimacy coaching, drawing from her deep roots in Taoism and Tantra.

We discuss the concept of sex magic, not just as a sexual experience but as an energetic practice for creativity and healing. Hani elaborates on her Sensual Liberation Program, a comprehensive system designed to remove blockages to our inner sensuality, enabling full-bodied energetic orgasms and deep personal healing.

We explore the importance of intention, breathwork, and embracing emotions like grief and anger during intimate moments as a means of achieving alignment and congruence. Hani also emphasizes the significance of safety, communication, and ritual in fostering deep, intimate connections, offering practical tips inspired by Taoist and Tantric practices.

Whether working alone or with a partner, this episode is a guide to harnessing inner energies for a more fulfilling and balanced life.

1. If this resonates with you, try the Sensual Liberation Program with Hani Cheng.
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3. Visit Samantha’s new mental health business, Sweet Soul Wellness