Through language rarely spoken in Christian spaces, Carya explains the difference between grooming and training, and how dissociation became the means of survival when life became unbearable. Carya invites listeners to see not only the trauma, but the mercy that allowed her to endure it. Her words call us, the Church to deeper understanding, and to become a place where stories like hers can be known and safely held.

Show Notes:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr. Heather Evans
• Shattered No More by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• CTHN, Tools and Handouts
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System
• Therapy in a Nutshell
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
• RAINN.org - Informational Support for sexual abuse survivors
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In this compelling expert segment, attorney and advocate Rachael Denhollander offers deep insight into the role of theology in abuse prevention and response. She helps us understand why survivors struggle to be believed and what it takes to build churches that are safe, discerning, and equipped to care well.

SHOW NOTES:

• What Is A Girl Worth? By Rachael Denhollander
• Redeeming Power by Diane Langberg

Informational Resources:

• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
• RAINN.org - Informational Support for sexual abuse survivors
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

This episode is one of the most sobering in our 2025 Safe to Hope season. As Carya transitions into life beyond her father’s household, she shares how a new circle of abusers—men in Christian leadership—took over her life with terrifying control. She exposes not only their cruelty, but also how they weaponized orthodoxy, hiding their evil behind sound doctrine and religious influence. In this story, Carya shares a deeply personal and painful part of her journey: her pregnancies and her children. She names the loss, the rage, and the impossible grief. And yet, through her prayers at the end, she reveals the quiet power of lament that trusts a personal, covenant-keeping God even when hope is hard to find.

Please use caution in listening. The material is disturbing—not due to graphic detail, but because of the nature of the abuse. There is an optional early ending point before Carya’s story of her children.

SHOW NOTES:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans

Self-Care Resources:

• CTHN Tools and Handouts
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System
• Therapy in a Nutshell
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder

Informational Resources:

• RAINN.org
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

What does healthy intimacy look like in Christian marriage? And what happens when biblical language gets tangled with cultural stereotypes? In this powerful and hope-filled episode, we welcome Sheila Wray Gregoire—author, researcher, and founder of BareMarriage.com—to discuss her latest book The Marriage You Want. With wisdom grounded in Scripture and backed by extensive research, Sheila offers a compelling call to mutuality, emotional connection, and healthy sexuality within marriage.

This conversation gently acknowledges that these insights may not apply to relationships marked by coercion or abuse. If that's your story, we hope this episode offers language to describe what’s not of God—and affirms your worth, safety, and dignity.

Whether you’re rebuilding your marriage or simply curious about God's design for intimacy, this episode brings both practical insight and compassionate encouragement.

SHOW NOTES:

Sheila Wray Gregoire Resources

• Bare Marriage podcast
• Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
• The Marriage You Want: How to Build a Relationship that Brings Out the Best in Both of You
• She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up

🎧 Also available on YouTube.

Safe to Hope episode with Sheila

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In Episode 2 of our Summer Reading Series, Julia and Ann Maree welcome Elyse Fitzpatrick to talk about her latest book, Unloved: The Rejected Saints God Calls Beloved. Together they explore how God's mercy meets us in the middle of shame, rejection, and misunderstanding—and why the church desperately needs prophetic voices willing to tell the truth.

With deep personal insight and decades of ministry experience, Elyse challenges us to reconsider how we view the mischaracterized women of Scripture and to embrace the truth that God calls us beloved, even when our stories have been distorted or dismissed.

Unloved: The Rejected Saints God Calls Beloved

🎧 Also available on YouTube.

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In this powerful Summer Reading Series conversation, Safe to Hope host Julia Fillnow and Help[H]er Executive Director Ann Maree Goudzwaard sit down with therapist, author, and advocate Tabitha Westbrook to explore the sacred journey of healing after trauma. Drawing from her book, Body & Soul, Healed & Whole, Tabitha speaks candidly about sexuality, consent, coercive control, embodiment, and the intersection of theology and trauma recovery.

Together, they discuss how survivors can reconnect with their bodies, challenge internalized shame, and discern the difference between biblical teaching and spiritual manipulation. Tabitha’s clinical wisdom and personal vulnerability offer a compassionate, truth-filled roadmap for women navigating abuse, recovery, and intimacy.

This episode includes sensitive content and may be triggering for some listeners. Discretion is advised.

🎧 Also available on YouTube.

SHOW NOTES:

Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality after Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Tabitha Westbrook

Called to Peace

Bearing Witness: Episode 2: Jesus is My Captain

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

With gentle clarity, Dr. Jim Wilder unpacks the logic of evil, the power of gratitude, and the vital role of community in healing. This conversation offers profound insight for anyone seeking to walk with others through unspeakable trauma—without losing sight of who God created us to be.

SHOW NOTES:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans
• Armies of Enablers by Amos N. Guiora

Dr Jim Wilder:

• Thrive conference
• The Red Dragon Cast Down: A Redemptive Approach to the Occult and Satanism
• Pandora Problem: Facing Narcissism in Leaders & Ourselves
• The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation
• Escaping Enemy Mode: How Our Brains Unit and Divide Us

Please see transcript for self-care and informational resources.

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In one of the most difficult episodes of the season, Carya shares how ritual abuse and satanic worship were not only part of her story—but were carried out under the cover of Christian institutions. With clarity and courage, she invites listeners to reckon with the reality that evil can flourish where it should be most opposed. Her story confronts us with questions about spiritual deception, trauma, and the sacred call to protect the vulnerable. This episode bears witness to truth many would prefer to ignore.

Self-Care and Informational resources in Transcript.

SHOW NOTES

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans
• In Our First Lives by Diane Langberg
• Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices by Thomas Brooks
• When Home Hurts by Jeremy Pierre & Greg Wilson
• The Red Dragon Cast Down by Dr Jim Wilder
• Shattered No More by Heather Gingrich
• Predators by Anna Salter
• The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.