Through language rarely spoken in Christian spaces, Carya explains the difference between grooming and training, and how dissociation became the means of survival when life became unbearable. Carya invites listeners to see not only the trauma, but the mercy that allowed her to endure it. Her words call us, the Church to deeper understanding, and to become a place where stories like hers can be known and safely held.

Show Notes:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr. Heather Evans
• Shattered No More by Dr. Heather Gingrich
• CTHN, Tools and Handouts
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System
• Therapy in a Nutshell
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder
• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
• RAINN.org - Informational Support for sexual abuse survivors
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

In this compelling expert segment, attorney and advocate Rachael Denhollander offers deep insight into the role of theology in abuse prevention and response. She helps us understand why survivors struggle to be believed and what it takes to build churches that are safe, discerning, and equipped to care well.

SHOW NOTES:

• What Is A Girl Worth? By Rachael Denhollander
• Redeeming Power by Diane Langberg

Informational Resources:

• Serving SRA Survivors: Satanic Ritual Abuse Recovery by Kay Elise Tolman
• Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
• RAINN.org - Informational Support for sexual abuse survivors
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.

This episode is one of the most sobering in our 2025 Safe to Hope season. As Carya transitions into life beyond her father’s household, she shares how a new circle of abusers—men in Christian leadership—took over her life with terrifying control. She exposes not only their cruelty, but also how they weaponized orthodoxy, hiding their evil behind sound doctrine and religious influence. In this story, Carya shares a deeply personal and painful part of her journey: her pregnancies and her children. She names the loss, the rage, and the impossible grief. And yet, through her prayers at the end, she reveals the quiet power of lament that trusts a personal, covenant-keeping God even when hope is hard to find.

Please use caution in listening. The material is disturbing—not due to graphic detail, but because of the nature of the abuse. There is an optional early ending point before Carya’s story of her children.

SHOW NOTES:

• Episode 4 Self-Care
• Episode 6 Dr Heather Evans

Self-Care Resources:

• CTHN Tools and Handouts
• Self-Regulation for Daily Triggers
• The Essential Skill to Regulate Your Nervous System
• Therapy in a Nutshell
• Justice From the Victim’s Perspective by Judith Herman
• Honoring the Truth by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
• Escaping Enemy Mode by Dr Jim Wilder

Informational Resources:

• RAINN.org
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg
• Escaping High-Control Religious Groups

Safe To Hope is one of the resources offered through the ministry of Help[H]er, a 501C3 that provides training and resources for those ministering in one-another care, and advocacy for women in crisis in Christian organizations. Your donations make it possible for Help[H]er to serve as they navigate crises. All donations are tax-deductible.

Help[H]er website
Give
Shop

We value and respect conversations with all our guests. Opinions, viewpoints, and convictions may differ so we encourage our listeners to practice discernment. As well, guests do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of HelpHer. It is our hope that this podcast is a platform for hearing and learning rather than causing division or strife.

Please note, abuse situations have common patterns of behavior, responses, and environments. Any familiarity construed by the listener is of their own opinion and interpretation. Our podcast does not accuse individuals or organizations.

The podcast is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis, or treatment.