Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, we are warned that the dead are alive but not that history is about to be re-written. Join us as we chop down Bond’s family tree in “Spectre”.

* The pre-titles sequence sees Bond destroy Day of the Dead in a single take before ambushing an ambitious helicopter pilot. Sam Smith’s falsetto-filled title track is not enough to distract the eye from the tentacle-porn.

* Back in London, M sends Bond to bed without supper. Max steps away from the cover of “Punchable Face” magazine to C how rude he can be to M. James invites Moneypenny to his barely-furnished apartment to show her a video from beyond the grave.

* MI6 calls on Q to track Bond’s stress, whereabouts, and inebriation. James convinces Q to give him a couple of days off-grid. Despite the time constraints, 007 drives to Italy. As Spectre pay respects to Sciarra, Bond bangs the widow before posing as Mickey Mouse to infiltrate Spectre’s meeting. Guerra has his eyes on a job - until his eyes are on Hinx’s thumbs. Blofeld’s bird-calls baffle Bond before he flies away to the comfort of a car-chase.

* When C sees the losing vote, M drones on. Bond joins Mr White for some chess, before swanning about at Dr Madeline’s clinic. After failing yet another psychiatric session, James gives Q a ring before flying after kidnappers in cars. After saving Swann, she spells out Spectre’s secrets - so James whisks her away to Tunisia. Mr White’s secret Blo-cator room reveals the lair where Spectre is situated.

* James and Madeline catch the next train to the Spectre station, which leads to some Hinx hijinks. Blofeld treats his captives very well, until he screens Mr White’s death and drills into Bond’s brain. James forgets everything except for his Latin lessons, thankfully. After a reasonably easy escape, Bond and Swann fly back to London to team up with MI6.

* Blofeld has contrived a convoluted plan to torture James in the ruins of MI6 headquarters, but Bond is able to escape the building by boat. Blofeld barrels into a bridge by Big Ben, but Bond refuses to finish the job. M arrests Blofeld, while James and Madeline drive off in Connery’s car.

Official SPECTRE etc Theory (OffSeT) #25: A 007 ride at a theme park should be called The Wetbike. Who wouldn’t line up for hours for a chance to use the Nautical Entrance and ride the wetbike?

Worst Impersonation Trophy: Benso returns to the winner’s circle with a hesitant faux-European attempt at Dr. Swann justifying her own inclusion on a highly dangerous mission. Don’t worry about what happened to your father, Madeline - what has Benso done to your voice?!

And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition welcoming the NSA to our listenership!

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Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, MI6 is forced underground by cyber attacks. Join us as we head for the hills in “Skyfall”.

* The pre-titles sequence is up to old tricks by faking Bond’s death before Adele takes us deep inside 007’s psyche. Back in London, M is under pressure to explain mission failures before MI6 blows up in her face.

* This attack is enough to drag Bond away from his Heineken, and he regains M’s trust by breaking into her house. She sticks James on a treadmill, subjects him to surgical malpractice, and finds out what he really thinks by using word-association. He fails every test, but M still wants him back in the field.

* New Q is light on gadgets but is pretty computer-savvy. In Shanghai, Bond catches a lift and makes light work of sneaking up on a sniper. After Patrice plummets, Bond and Moneypenny raise a few eyebrows. At the casino, James cashes in Eve for Severine and then plays Pitfall by leaping lizards.

* Severine is sailing away when Bond boards her boat before shaming himself in her shower. With this assault behind them, they reach Silva’s abandoned island - where it is Bond’s turn to have his physical space invaded. An unimpressive William Tell impression leads to 007 capturing Silva.

* Back in London, MI6 have made a Magneto-cell for Silva. M hears what Silva has to say, then heads to her own hearing. At this, Silva opens every aperture in MI6 and heads for the tube. He commits an awful crime while at the very same time, M is being a touch sublime by reciting a lovely rhyme.

* James abducts M and heads for his childhood home in Scotland. Tanner and Q pause their beer pong game long enough to help Bond with breadcrumbs, so Silva can swoop on Skyfall. Inspired by Home Alone, Bond & M spend a day setting up 10 minutes of booby traps. All of this good work is undone by some foolish flashlighting - forcing 007 onto some thin ice. In the chapel, Silva is having too many feelings to finish his mission. James arrives just in time to kill Silva, but is unable to save M.

* Back in London, James finally meets Moneypenny before receiving his next mission from Mallory.

Official SPECTRE etc Theory (OffSeT) #24: Bond needed to get a kill in order to feel enough like himself to bother shaving.

And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition to buy Bond a “First Capture” cake!

Contact us:

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Twitter: @SpectreEtc007

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Email: spectreetc007@gmail.com

Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, the writers have gone on strike and left us to join the dots of this chase-heavy movie. Join us as we try to flounder our way through “Quantum of Solace”.

* The pre-titles sequence has Bond avoiding pineapple trucks as he chauffeurs Mr White to Siena. Another rocking title track takes us into a terrific terracotta rooftop race before Bond squeezes off a shot while swinging from some scaffolding.

* Bond heads to Haiti to smash up a hotel room and kill yet another source of information. Camille picks him up on her way to meet Dominic. Bond steals a boat and kidnaps Camille before asking M to dig deep into Dominic. She asks the CIA for information, but the Americans are in cahoots with Quantum!

* Mr White is co-ordinating Quantum during an Austrian opera, but Bond is taking the minutes of this meeting. James adjourns the meeting and kills yet another source of information. M has had enough, and cancels Bond’s cards to keep him in Austria.

* James motorboats across the Mediterranean to visit the villa Mathis earned. Rene is dressed for action, and jumps at the chance to join James in Bolivia. On the Virgin plane, 007 downs six vespers. Agent Fields has been sent to Bolivia to help James find the hotel stationery before Dominic’s party.

* Camille is asking to be thrown off a balcony, but Bond arrives just in time. Leaving Fields alone at the party, James drives off with Camille. Police pull them over and frame James for the murder of Mathis. Bond leaves his dear friend in a dumpster, but not before stealing his money.

* James and Camille somehow swap a car for a plane so they can fly over Dominic’s desert. A couple of jets join them for a dogfight, forcing a skydive into a sinkhole - where Dominic’s dammed water pushes the plot forward. After walking all the way back to town, Bond finds oil-fields in his hotel room.

* Bond invites Felix for a drink, but the beers turn into shots. Dominic has headed to his desert hotel, so James and Camille have a quick chat about vengeance-killing. They burn down the hotel and avenge Camille’s family.

* Bond leaves Dominic stranded in the desert with just a bottle of oil, then leaves Camille stranded at some train station with just a kiss. James finally avenges Vesper, and then tells M how he really feels.

Official SPECTRE etc Theory (OffSeT) #23: The cheapest way to get a plane is to trade in a rental car for it.

And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition to have Mathis’s body repatriated to his villa!

Contact us:

Facebook: SPECTREetc

Twitter: @SpectreEtc007

Instagram/Threads: @spectreetc

Email: spectreetc007@gmail.com